Sacramental grace

I can’t get an answer to this question ~ i’m divorced (not by my choice) and don’t have “sacramental grace”, which makes perfect sense since i was married in the church. What does this do to my standing within the church?

And i also know that because i don’t have a boyfriend or a new husband the church still considers me married and hence not excommunicated.

What do i make of all of this?

By “Sacramental Grace” do you mean you are not in a state of grace? If your spouse civilly divorced you then in the eyes of the Church you are still married and are not in a state of mortal sin unless you have chosen to begin dating again.

In any case, I would just schedule a meeting with your local priest, explain whatever situation you have and ask if you need Confession or not… or just go to Confession.

Someone correct me if I am wrong.

You should still be in good standing with the church. You would still be able to receive communion - assuming you are in a state of grace (free from mortal sin). Divorce is not necessarily a sin; it is the subsequent relationships that cause a problem. Now might be a good time to pursue an annulment.

A civil divorce of a valid marriage is not even a sin on your part if a) it was not your choice and was not brought about by your own infidelity or irresponsiblity to your duty as a spouse on your part or b) if you chose it, but with serious reasons having to do with safety or grave matters of well-being, the interests of justice, or the legal protection of your marital assets from an irresponsible spouse. For instance, it is not a sin for a person with a spouse who is a compulsive gambler to obtain a civil divorce in order to protect the couple’s financial future. If the gambling spouse squanders his or her part of the marital assets, the other spouse is also not bound to let them squander the other half, too. The responsible spouse is allowed to have justice and to live in peace.

Even if the civil divorce was due to sin on your part, that is something that you can confess and be absolved from, provided you are not refusing means that are realistically within your reach to mend the marriage. You are still married, but you aren’t required to reconcile with a spouse who will now have nothing to do with you. If you confess your mortal sins, you will be in a state of grace and may receive Holy Communion.

What you may not do is consider yourself free to marry or to act as if you were free to marry unless and until the first marriage is investigated and found to have been invalid. Until your marriage is declared null, your spouse dies, or the two of you reconcile, you have to act like a person who has taken a vow of celibacy. You have to be faithful insofar as it is within your power to be faithful, which is to say you have to refrain from having outside romantic relationships with anyone not your spouse.

as long as you are celibate from now on, you are or can be in a state of grace

as mentioned already, divorce itself is not the sin. the Church recognizes there may be situations that this may become necessary. what is important is unless the Church annuls your marriage, then you are still married in the eyes of the Church and of God. so you are not free to remarry, nor pursue romantic relationships

i would love to apply for an annulment but unfortunately, i don’t think one would be granted just because my ex-husband wanted to cheat on me with his now new wife.

**
trust me, i’m in no way considering being with anyone. and when i say trust me i mean trust me.**

You really have no way of pre-judging whether a decree of nullity would be granted or not. Perhaps your husband did not from the outset intend permanence and fidelity.

I don’t understand any of your description.
If you are divorced what makes you think you do not have “sacramental grace?” Do you mean sanctifying grace? Yes you have sanctifying grace as long as you have confessed and been absolved of all your mortal sins. Yes you are in good standing and can receive Holy Communion and the other sacraments. You say you have not remarried nor are you in an illicit relationship, and you understand this, so what is your question? You would not be excommunicated just because your husband divorced you, only if you committed some offense that merits excommunication.

I really don’t understand what you are asking. Please bring your concerns to your own priest, so he can give you pastoral counsel relevant to your own personal situation.

You don’t need to apply for a decree of nullity unless you plan to marry again. There is no way to know if it would be granted until you go through the process. You are right, infidelity by itself does not end a valid marriage but there may be circumstances, and your ex’s behavior may shed light on them, that existed at the time of your marriage that did prevent valid consent from being exchanged.

Who have you asked? Any priest could have answered this very simply.
Any catholic who is free from mortal sin is in a state of grace. yes you are still viewed as married unless it is proved otherwise.Go to confession and remain in a chaste lifestyle. Do some reading on Annulments and see if you wish to apply for one at some time in the future.

Okay ~ i feel better now that someone answered my question

you would feel even better if you took your question to your own priest

if he wasn’t faithful from the beginning then he was fooling you from the start. thats not a valid marriage. if you think seeking an annulment would serve a purpose for you (like getting a chance at finding a REAL relationship) then go for it.

if not, then just dedicate your new found celibacy to the Lord

Actually that could be taken by the tribunal as grounds for an annulment based on him not coming into the marriage intending to be faithful (or not, that is up for them to decide based on evidence presented to them)

I would still talk to your priest about applying for an annulment, if you think you might ever want to date/remarry.

i’m absolutely positive that i won’t remarry ~ it’s bad enough for one person to have to go through the trials and tribulations of MS life, never mind a spous also.

I’m divorced from an abusive spouse, and really have no desire to enter into another marriage. Still, my spiritual director virtually insisted I pursue a decree of nullity ASAP. We don’t know when circumstances may change, and it’s much easier to get through all the questions and witnesses sooner rather than later. For me personally, I started the process because I would really like the validation that this was not a sacramental marriage, and that my ex-husband was not behaving in the way a husband can or should. I need that.

Having just turned in a sheaf of papers, I’ll say that it was really very healing to see everything in one place, instead of a collection of random unhappy memories. I have a lot more insight now into why he did what he did, and why I responded as I did initially, as well as why I was able to eventually find the courage to leave.

So even if you are completely in good standing with the Church, you might consider at least getting a hold of the questionnaire for your diocese for your own edification.

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