I am kind of hoping to get some advice from someone who has been through this already.
How do you leave your husband? I know people do this all the time, but really, just the thought of it totally scares me. I know I have to do it though. God is making that very clear to me.
I mean, I have known it since forever. I never went to a counselor because I knew that I would be told to leave him. When we were studying Exodus in Bible study a few months ago, it just suddenly hit me though that was what God was telling me to do. I tried to ignore it, tried to work on being a better wife and see if that would help.
Then I wanted to make a plenary indulgence for my dad on the Immaculate Conception. I really wanted to give up all of my attachments to sin, and so I prayed to Mary to help me make a good confession. During confession the priest told me that I have to leave my husband, that I am his slave, his hostage. He is a controller, verbally and emotionally abusive, physically intimidating and threatening. He is also an alcoholic and won’t seek treatment or agree to counsling. I didn’t expect that in confession. He told me not to wait any longer than June, to put a deadline on it.
I know my priest is right. I felt like it was the Holy Spirit speaking directly to my heart and soul. Just the same, I am scared. We have 4 kids, so I know I can’t just do nothing and put up with this kind of behavior.
I don’t work. I have talked about wanting to go back to work, but my husband won’t let me. He doesn’t want our youngest in day care. He doesn’t want the housework to slide or to have to eat fast food. So, I am totally financially dependent on my husband.
We could move in with my parents. I know that wouldn’t be easy. They live 5 hours away, so my kids would have to give up all of their friends, and they do have nice friends. They go to good schools and are doing well academically, so I hate the thought of uprooting them. Still, I know that they are hurting from the frequent angry and unreasonable outbusts that are our home life.
I am also totally scared for their safety and mine. My husband is used to having total control over me, and still he is very explosive and angry with me. What will he do if I say I am going to leave him? It is pretty scary and overwhelming to think about.
Has anyone ever successfully done this? What practical advice do you have?