[quote="onmyknees, post:10, topic:246769"]
I worked part-time my whole life up until I had to quit because of my physical problems. I am not on any L&I or disability and when we had two older boys still at home we were able to make it financially on one income and we still do. We just have to live frugally which has not been a bad thing at all.
I too loved every minute with my boys so I would not have ever wanted to work full time and miss more of their lives. Even at 13, 15 and 16 you still might miss a lot of their games, driving them around, (which is when we had our best conversations) helping with homework and so on because of working full time and coming home late, being too tired. It just goes so fast and then they are gone.
You said that you need to get a job so that you can leave your husband. So you do not want to stay married to him? Even if your children are older this will still have a huge impact on them and your dh. Why not just volunteer for your church or work part-time?
You could start a bible study group or teach catechism, go to the nursing homes or join any of the volunteer groups at church.
I have been on the Liturgy commission, St. Vincent De Paul, babysitting for the bible study moms and arranging the flowers for the church ( Altar Society), I hold a meeting once a month and sometimes we just go out to lunch for our meeting. We also keep God's house beautiful! I just love being in our church all alone with Him. It gives me such peace! When someone does come in to pray or go to Adoration they will often stop to talk or help out and so we get to know more people in the parish. My favorite volunteer work though is bringing the Eucharist to the sick at the nursing home. I get to pray with many people there and they are so grateful. I also volunteer for one hour of Adoration a day now which really is helping me spiritually.
I have ups and downs with the divorce. I know it is selfish and should work on the marriage. I was in a negative place last week and had had enough. Also, I was not at peace with the decision so I know it was the wrong one. I spent all my life making selfish choices and my life is a mess so I am trying to follow God's plan now. I just fight it once in awhile. Plus, I had several friends that keep telling me to divorce him which made it more tempting.
It would be much better if I waited a few more years to go back to work but I am at the end of my rope. My husband is in a fight with the board at his work and they are both playing hardball. The lawyers are handling it now. Meanwhile, there has been no pay since mid October. He isn't looking for another job. He is the founder of the company and is not ready to let go. He is just working on the rental properties and working on starting a new company. Meanwhile, I am draining our retirement accounts to pay the bills. Someone has to work. But I am starting to think that he was just pacifying me when saying he would help me get a job. He took all my information and did nothing. Of course, he does everything in his own ---- time.
The thing I really hate is that I will miss some of my daughter's basketball games. She is the starting center and she is really fun to watch. I should be able to make all the home football games. And I don't mind missing track and ski meets. I also have the best conversation with my kids during car rides. I will miss some of their lives but I need to set us up financially.
My therapist did say, no matter what age divorce hurts the kids.