My older niece, who is not Catholic, recently moved in with her boyfriend. I explained to her that it was not appropriate to live with someone she was not ready to marry and she became very angry with me. She told me that she did not judge me, I should not judge her. (Her mother died when she was 13 and had never raised her in any faith, nor did her father and they were both Catholic). Having an online typed discussion with my younger niece, her sister, about how upset I was with her sister decision, my younger niece answered back even her father and the boyfriends family, who are Lutheran’s were not opposed to the idea, that atleast she was not sleeping around and giving “it” away to everyone. I shot back “no, just to her boyfriend”. With that, the younger niece told me I was rude hung up on me and we have not spoken since. She told her sister (my older niece) what I said and her sister no longer speaks to me either. She said that she was furious that I would say such a horrible thing about her, that I had called her a whore and how could I do that. I have apologized to the older niece explaining that I was angry and should not have put things in such disgusting terms but she refuses to accept my apology. I have lost a sister and a brother, my parents are divorced and my family is getting smaller and smaller. Should I try again to apologize? We celebrated separate holidays for the first time since she was born 24 years ago.
By the way, my older niece seems to think I hold she and her sister to a higher standard then my own children and don’t preach to them. My own children understand that if they choose to live with a boyfriend or girlfriend while they are not married that I will not associate with them as long as they do so.
I know that I should not have said what I said in anger, but I do feel she is wrong to live with her boyfriend and I thought she should know how I felt and I told her. Unfortunatley my anger got the better of me when I spoke with her sister. And I am the only family member who feels that living together is wrong.