[quote=LadyTempest]I’ve read and thought about what everyone has been saying, and want to sincerely thank each of you for taking the time and energy to help with this situation. I really do appreciate all of the great points you all made. Thank you especially for your prayers…
To answer everyone’s questions… A Justice of the Peace performed my marriage almost 5 years ago. We were planning to have it blessed by the church just before Easter so that I can complete my acceptance into the faith. My father never dared even look at another woman for a long as I can remember. My mother was *very *controlling, and although I don’t think she would have left him, she’d make his life so miserable that he would have left her. To JRABS, everything you said about your ex sounds almost exactly like my husband.
You all gave me the courage to ask him to leave last night. He seemed to accept everything I had to say… for about 15 minutes. Then he just refused to go. We got into a big fight and then he started in with “What do I have to do to make you trust me and want to keep me? You’re my soul mate.” I told him that it wasn’t that simple, but he wouldn’t go. It basically ended the same way it always does, except that this time I think I truly realize how big of a problem it really is. I’d always told myself before that it wasn’t really a big deal. I thought I was just being overly sensitive and making a mountain out of a molehill. I would tell always think how much worse it could be and how much worse other women have it.
I am admitting now that this is not something I can handle on my own. I feel too emotionally exhausted to fight him. I am going to seek professional counseling… today. No more procrastinating. God bless all of you, and you are all in my prayers also. I know that I haven’t exactly made a big leap towards a better life, but it’s a start. Thank you…
Good for you! Don’t feel bad about not getting him to leave. You may have to leave him yourself. Do your parents live nearby? Are there friends with whom you and your children can stay for a while? In addition to seeking professional counseling, I also recommend seeing a priest. Have you made your first reconcilliation yet? If you have, then go to confession again before you make any more big moves. Being in a state of Grace will make you more open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.
Do you have some close friends and family you can talk to for support? You said you have admitted you can’t do this alone, so please talk to a trusted person who will stand by you and be there for you.
I also recommend getting a lawyer. You may have some legal options as far as separation and who gets to live in the house, and who has to leave. A lawyer can also advise you as to what you should do to collect proof of his infidelities.
When you confront your husband, don’t let him draw you into the same arguments. Tell him a soul-mate wouldn’t do to you what he’s done, and that you are not going to argue about it. Each time he tries to draw you into an argument, just say “I’m not going to argue with you about that.” Tell him there’s nothing he can do or say to change your mind, and that you want him to leave. Keep saying that to him every day. Be civil, be polite, just don’t give in.