Same-sex marriage states


#1

Can anyone from a same-sex marriage state tell me how things have progressed, and the challenges of raising a Catholic family with traditional morals and values in that environment?

I am very concerned how my children will be affected by traditional marriage being re-defined. My kids have been so fortunate to have a great youth and understanding of right and wrong, and they are going to be reaching the age where they going to be seeing and hearing so many conflicting ideas, and I am certain not agreeing with same-sex marriage will be a very difficult challenge to them from both Catholics and non-Catholic young people, the media, entertainers, etc... .

I am not a "gay basher" and am certainly a sinner myself, but I don't feel it is loving to encourage people to live an active homosexual lifestyle....just as it is not loving to tell me that the personal sins I commit are "okay" too.


#2

Hi I don't live in the states, but in the UK there are plenty of same sex 'marriages'. It doesn't mean that we see more same sex couples around. To be honest where we see it most is on the TV and in films.
I don't believe that an acceptance of the legal joining of these couples changes anything in society itself. (from my experience).

The fact is some people are born that way. The way I see it is that love can never be wrong. I'm not condoning the acts they perform, but I do believe that if 2 people love each other then after 30 /40 years of being together and having their finances intertwined because of just that fact, being able to protect themselves legally is not a bad thing. In the Uk I don't see it as a marriage in the same way but a legal agreement that means that if one of them dies the other can inherit and can visit as a relative in the funeral home.... Or if one becomes sick the other can visit and make decisions as a next of kin.

I have a cousin who was born without the ability of have sexual feelings for women. He tried but it is absent. His sexual desires are towards men. (I don't believe God makes mistakes) Thats how he was born.
Again I don't condone the act, but this man is not promiscuous. He hasn't chosen his sexual preference. He has had a 'friendship' with another man since High School. They are now in their 60's. They are quiet and unassuming (Catholic) people. If one should get sick they would want the other to be there and not have to fight red tape at a time of great emotional pain. The fact that they are now 'married' doesn't change anything for those who know them or those that don't. It just gives them peace of mind for the future.

My kids went through their teens knowing a 'difficult' promiscuous gay man... and really can't stand to be around it. They don't judge homosexuals as people but dispise the culture that can surrounds them. My daughter has a friendship with a gay couple though and because they are again un assuming quiet self respecting people, she doesn't have a problem with it. They are actually good to go out with because they are safe! There is right and wrong in every community. Personally I find it offensive to see overt and open, promiscuous sexual behaviour whether gay or straight. Its promiscuity that is wrong and not love.

I don't know if that puts your mind at rest. Really I try and think of the marriage thing as a legal thing and nothing to do with Gods union between 2 people. Your fear of it will have more effect on your kids than maybe a Christian acceptance of everyone as individuals. Fear leads to judgement....and believe me those who struggle with this judge themselves enough.... I thank God I wasn't born with it. There bit for the grace of God go I?

stepper


#3

:wave: Hello from Vermont, the first state in the USA to pass "civil unions" over a decade ago, and then finally change it to "marriage" a little while back. I moved here, and started college, just as the debate about "civil unions" was beginning, so I've been able to watch the whole process.

As for your question.......I would think, yes, it would be a challenge to raise a traditional Catholic family in this environment. But I don't think the gay marriage is the primary factor behind that - it's just that a state which is "liberal" enough to pass such legislation also tends to be a bit "hostile" towards "traditional values".

:shrug:

On the other hand, when faith is constantly challenged, it can be an incentive to grow. I started my college life as a bitter, fallen-away Catholic. And I actually give some of the credit for my Catholic "reversion" to my Catholic-in-name-only college, and living in such a liberal environment. It inspired me to learn more about Catholicism (so I could know exactly how wrong it was :blush: ) and, in the process, I had my mind completely changed. Go figure!!


#4

[quote="stepper, post:2, topic:244159"]
Really I try and think of the marriage thing as a legal thing and nothing to do with Gods union between 2 people.

[/quote]

And that's just the thing, isn't it? Gay marriage has forced God's hand out of it, yet it was He who created it. And I struggle with that as a Catholic, and it somewhat grieves me to see a Catholic resign himself to it.

The problem is that, long ago, marriage became a legal contract separated from it's sacramental origins. And that problem will never be solved until people recognize that it is a sacrament. So what we're left with in a secular world is trying to hold onto atleast some semblance of its sacramentality, so that when married people come to understand it as sacrament, they will not have insurmountable obstacles to make it so. Thus we have to fight against divorce and homosexuality within the context of marriage.

I'm all for the rights of gay people. I don't deny there is genuine love between many of them. Love that is not promiscuous and not driven solely by sexual desire. But the problem is not that they cannot marry...the problem is that our legal system reserves certain rights only for married people. Why aren't we working to change those laws, instead of trying so desperately to redefine marriage? The answer is, because the latter is easier to do...it's a pre-existing law that is laid out perfectly for the types of things gay people are seeking. Much easier to seek inclusion into that, than to fight for the same individual rights that married people have.


#5

Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, and the District of Columbia allow same sex marriage. The others do not. Although some of the other states allow domestic partnerships.


#6

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