Same-Sex Marriage vs. the Real Thing: A Gay Man’s View of the Big Picture

I have often viewed the matter of same sex marriage mainly as a matter of common sense, of human anatomy, sexual complementarity, and natural law. It is that, but it is more. In the linked article, a gay man takes a larger view of same sex marriage, seeing not just the political battle, but the spiritual battle which underlies it. It’s a short piece, and well worth reading. He notes that while it may look as though the matter is finished and we should move on, that is not the case.
“This is what we now witness. Every family, every marriage, every parent, and every child has a stake in this battle, a battle in which passivity must now be recognized as surrender.”

The complete article is here.

Accepting this as a spiritual battle has profound personal ramifications. We must each examine and deal with our own spiritual passivity and culpability in casually embracing the ways of the world. Each of us bears responsibility. This battle hinges on one thing: the creation of a vibrant marriage culture based on the participation of millions of individuals who value and commit themselves to the spiritual truth about marriage. These people must commit themselves not only to the structural, traditional aspects of marriage, but also to its vitally important spiritual component. The future rests on our shoulders—yours and mine.

This article is good, I think. Thanks for sharing!

I’ve read in, “The Noon Day Devil”, that there is hierarchy among the seven deadly sins and that sloth is the worst or last.

This article is an argument which attributes the current state of western society to sloth. It doesn’t really get into the contributing factors such as the other seven deadly sins that are essential in fueling a societal sloth.

Pope Benedict points to Indifference:


The article was excellent. Thanks for the link. I really appreciate reading an article from someone with SSA themselves and how they come to view gay marriage as not what God has in mind for his creation.

I do appreciate this line and feel he is spot on.

“Simply put, the world has done a better job of evangelizing us to its ways than we have of evangelizing the world to the magnificent good news of the Gospel.”(From the linked article)

It seems so difficult sometimes to evangelize as you are labeled a bigot if you disagree with gay marriage.

May God have mercy on us and on the whole world.


I think the heading “The Narrative Needs to Change: From Primarily Political to Spiritual” also makes a good point.

The silver lining, for some conservatives anyhow, of SCOTUS’s 2003 decision on Lawrence was the opportunity to refocus the discussion on whether gay sex is *moral *or not, rather than on whether it is legal or not.

Here is the view of one gay man:

It should be pointed out that this article describes a mostly Catholic understanding of marriage. For many non-Catholic Christians (such a Lutherans), marriage is not even a sacrament.

If that’s the worst thing about the article, then I most definitely want to read it. :slight_smile:

Which parts of the article, that have a bearing on the meaning of, and eligibility for, marriage are at odds with Lutheran understanding of marriage?

I assume you are correct that no Lutheran accepts marriage as a sacrament, but you would be aware that Lutheran Churches around the world reject entirely the notion of same sex marriage.

A Lutheran Church position on Human Sexuality and marriage. This one would seem to have much in common with the Catholic position.…/download

If marriage is not a sacrament (which it is not for Lutherans), it will have less of the kind of metaphorical or mystical meaning which the following in the article says is being mocked by same-sex marriage: “Same-sex marriage mocks Christ’s relationship with his Bride, the Church.” Comparing marriage to Christ’s relationship with his Bride the Church sounds very Catholic to me. Also, I don’t know the complete history of the emphasis on sexual or other kinds of complementarism in marriage, but I think that this has a greater place in Catholic thinking. Before coming here to CAF, I had rarely heard that kind of talk.

True. However, the Lutheran Church document I linked in previous post rejects SSM based on a clear Scriptural basis, not any reference to sacraments.

Also, I don’t know the complete history of the emphasis on sexual or other kinds of complementarism in marriage, but I think that this has a greater place in Catholic thinking.

Seems to be present in Scripture and in Christianity generally. SSM is a rather recent proposition.

Before coming here to CAF, I had rarely heard that kind of talk.

The complementary nature of the sexual and other relationships in marriage never came up till you visited CAF? That’s interesting.

Well, sure. But the question is, is the article as a whole a fair representation of Catholic thinking? (I haven’t read it yet – it hasn’t been very high on my to do list – but I probably will sometime today.)

The author of this article referenced a previous article which he had written (here), which I recently went back and read. It is also a quite compelling piece. But in his most recent article, the one we are discussing here, he concludes that this matter is not simply a legal or legislative or judicial battle or even a struggle for hearts and minds, but is at its root a spiritual battle, a battle for souls.

I think the metaphor is a natural one considering the concept of the church as the bride of Christ is a biblical one. I think most Christians would be fine with it, even if it isn’t a commonly used metaphor.

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