Recently, we’ve been going through some struggles in our marriage (husband’s addiction to porn & masturbation). I have been praying for the Lord’s restoration and renewal of our marriage and I feel strongly that He is working on it. Since I caught my husband (almost 3 weeks ago), he has shown a great desire to change and has been repentant. We are praying together every night and doing the rosary (something we had not done together in years). I am just praying that he will be ready to go to the Lord and confess these sins soon so that he will begin this battle for purity:gopray2: . I have been compassionate and loving throughout this ordeal because I know that is what he needs the most from me and that this is what Jesus expects of me right now. We are supposed to represent the unconditional love and forgiveness that Jesus has for us to our spouses in their time of need. Also, I feel that my responsibility, as a wife, is make sure my husband gets to heaven and vice versa. It has not been easy and I have my days of doubt and desparation and I know that satan seeks to destroy families like ours, but we CANNOT let him in.
Through this difficult situation, God has revealed to me a call to Holiness… one that I am sure that I have always had but never felt it as I do now. I am feeling so many changes going on in my head and my perspectives on many aspects of life are changing and I know that the Holy Spirit is there working.
Another piece that God has revealed to me, unwillingness and lack of openness to new life. When we married, we did take the vow accepting and being open to having children. However, the first year of our marriage was tough financially, as is for many new couples. My husband and I have been practicing NFP all throughout our marriage to avoid pregnancy for this reason. Satan had instilled the fear that we would not be able to afford children. Many have fallen in this trap that satan has set up. We ended up pregnant with our daughter because I miscalculated ovulation, but she has been the best surprise and biggest blessing ever. Since her birth, we went back to practicing diligently NFP again to avoid another pregnancy since now we have major debt with our student loans and we pay high rent. While looking through these forums and reading threads about sex and NFP both my husband and I realized that we have not been obeying God in the respect of bringing new life. So, from now on we are going to let God do His work and His will and if He wills another baby then, He will provide since we obeyed HIM. We are going to move forward in adjusting our lives so that we are living below our means and not above. Anyway, I have been having “baby fever” more frequently;) … so we will see what God has in store for us.
as far as satan goes…KEEP HIM OUT:mad: ! He will find very clever ways of destroying your family** PRAY!!!
Blessings and Love in Jesus…