What lengths should we go to keep from causing scandal? People in this day and age have a pretty sick mindset to things in the west, and we can’t get rid of it.

What was once a scandal [two unmarried people living together] is now the norm- many shows if not most have this as a regular thing. Even the Catholic characters sleep around [Grey’s Anatomy anyone? Izzie’s Catholic and they only made her go to Confession after sleeping with another Catholic, who was married- in Vegas without any dispensations. Mind boggling… Makes me wonder if none of the writer’s know anything about Catholicism, or if they’re doing this on purpose].

The hypothetical came up - should young adults stay with their opposite sex parent in a hotel room. The general idea was that, it’s fine.

But it could cause scandal, couldn’t it? A young woman with no wedding ring, and an older man with one? Oh no, affair! He’s cheating- oh, wait. That’s his daughter.

Two siblings might be assumed to be lovers, be they different or same sex considering the culture. A young man staying at his aunt’s house might be assumed to be the boyfriend of the daughter.

I read yesterday that a man in the UK was deemed a pervert for taking pictures of his own children in the park. One woman was angered because while he was taking his own children’s picture, her daughter happened to be in the shot as well.

Also read an article recently about a woman who had had a sexual relatonship with her brother from when they were 14/15 until college. The comments at the bottom of the article? “Well, I might not, but if it’s two consenting people I don’t see why not.” and other similar views.

The world is sick. We can’t live huddled in our rooms for fear of being labeled sick as well.

Now, I know it’s not a good idea to sleep over at your boyfriend’s house and then tell everyone, even if you didn’t sleep together. That I can see as wrong. But say you’re eating dinner with his family, then start to watch a movie. You see two, and it ends up terribly late. You crash on the couch, go home in the morning. Your family knows where you were, your friends ask and you say you borrowed the couch. End of story. You can’t go door to door to every neighbor and say “Hello, good morning. Just wanted to say that if you saw me leave my boyfriend’s house a few minutes ago, we weren’t having sex last night. I slept on their couch, I promise. I’m Catholic- premarital sex is bad.”

That’s absurd.

Again, slightly rant-y, but it has to be said. What should we do to avoid scandal, and how much is out of our hands?


Maybe somebody can give a good definition by the church regarding what scandal is. I wouldn’t worry about causing scandal in examples given above.



Yes, I completely agree.


Same here. There are more Catholic couples than many realize who are in invalid marriages living as “brother and sister” but do not go around telling everyone that they are living as “brother and sister”. Can you imagine how exhausting it would be for them to explain this to anyone who witnesses them receiving the Eucharist. On the outside they appear to be causing scandal, but in reality, they are not sinning at all.


But it would make all of the neighbors actually stop and think:D** If you have the time to go door to door I say why not?:p**

But in all seriousness I think that we know in our hearts what is in and out of our hands… if our conscience is niggling at us that even though it is two in the morning it wouldn’t be right to stay over then I say go home. But I also don’t think it would be wrong to stay…

today’s society is so warped, you are right. We can only do so much.


Respect for the souls of others: scandal

2284 Scandal is an attitude or behavior which leads another to do evil. The person who gives scandal becomes his neighbor’s tempter. He damages virtue and integrity; he may even draw his brother into spiritual death. Scandal is a grave offense if by deed or omission another is deliberately led into a grave offense.

2285 Scandal takes on a particular gravity by reason of the authority of those who cause it or the weakness of those who are scandalized. It prompted our Lord to utter this curse: “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.” Scandal is grave when given by those who by nature or office are obliged to teach and educate others. Jesus reproaches the scribes and Pharisees on this account: he likens them to wolves in sheep’s clothing.

2286 Scandal can be provoked by laws or institutions, by fashion or opinion.

Therefore, they are guilty of scandal who establish laws or social structures leading to the decline of morals and the corruption of religious practice, or to “social conditions that, intentionally or not, make Christian conduct and obedience to the Commandments difficult and practically impossible.” This is also true of business leaders who make rules encouraging fraud, teachers who provoke their children to anger, or manipulators of public opinion who turn it away from moral values.

2287 Anyone who uses the power at his disposal in such a way that it leads others to do wrong becomes guilty of scandal and responsible for the evil that he has directly or indirectly encouraged. “Temptations to sin are sure to come; but woe to him by whom they come!”


I think the definition of scandal (probably laid out a bit better in 1ke’s post, but I’ll give a short version) is leading others to think that you are sinning and that it’s okay for them to do it, too. The lemming mentality: Well, John and Jane are doing it, maybe I can, too! It’s not the fact that they presume you to be sinning that’s the scandal, it’s them being tempted to do the same thing. It’s a lot easier to do something wrong if you’re with a group of people who are all sinning. If something is ridiculous, like people assuming an affair when a father and daughter stay in a hotel together, that’s their problem. But if they see an unmarried couple sleeping over at each other’s apartments, with no chaperons present, and they think “they did it, it must not be so bad…” :nope: It’s a tricky line, in some cases. If you’re ever in doubt, err on the safe side, I think.

And I know what you mean about our culture being sick-minded. People misconstrue the stupidest things out of- on my part -completely innocent statements. :mad:

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