scared of being introduced as new member of parish


My husband and I are going to be introduced as new members of the parish this Sunday, right after the Mass’s end announcements, and…we have to go and stand up in front of the whole congregation.

I am terrified and my husband, I know, won’t be too thrilled with it either. I am scared, scared, scared. I wish I could hide behind a chair or something. I was also scared to go up and receive my college degree during graduation because it made me so nervous when I was younger.

I know this is pride in reverse, since who really is going to remember us, but it still scares the rascals out of me.

Any suggestions?

Call up the pastor and say what you just said. If he has any compassion he will not make you do it. Perhaps he will just say your name. We don’t introduce new parishioners at Mass but put their names in the bulletin at the beginning of the month after they register.

I would be terrified too. That sounds a little odd. Perhaps you should contact the priest and express your concerns?

Face your fears.

It won’t be half as bad as you imagine it will be.

I second that. :thumbsup:

I’ll give it a third. :thumbsup: I think that would be terrifying. :eek:

I would phone the pastor and diplomatically express my wishes, keep it short , succinct. Leave a message if he is not available. Email is an option. Your husband might be the appropriate agent.

Some of these 'Touchy Feely Fr. FeelGood , Church as Community, We’re All a Family ’ types do steamroll you into these things at times.

That should help
or conversely ‘Resistance is Futile’, ‘Go With the Flow’, ‘What you want doesnt matter’.

The other option is just go to a later or earlier mass.

Simply explain to the priest that such a showy display of interest directed toward you and your husband is not in keeping with your sensibilities and that you would prefer to get to know the other members of the Parish humbly and on your own terms. He should be amenable to that.

Personally I don’t understand your fear; I mean it’s not like they’re going to hurl tomatoes at you. Still, everybody’s different.

Tell him in no uncertain terms that you do not want this to happen. If he still does it, get up and walk out. I know it sounds rude, but maybe then he will get the hint.

I hate “touchy/feely” parishes. When I have to go to one, just close my eyes and stand there, at the “greetings” and “sign of peace”. Neither of them are done at my parish.

Is this part of the RCIA?

You are right, if it is part of the Rite of Acceptance then that is a public rite and would be done in front of the entire assembly.

not for me, I’m a cradle catholic but my husband is an atheist…

:smiley: Don’t Worry! It’s not as bad as you think! I did it with my RCIA class after the Easter Vigil ceremony. We had a designated spot facing the Altar stage where we sat and all we had to do after receiving the Eucharist was to stand up TOGETHER as a group and be introduced. The parishoners welcomed us by :clapping: and that was the end of it.
I would take your concerns about this to a priest if you didn’t go through the RCIA program though.

I was going to say, unless you’re going to be asked to make a speech to them or something, I don’t think it’s anything to make a fuss of even if it goes against your grain.

God gives us all sorts of different crosses to bear, perhaps some of us need to learn a little patience with ‘touchy feely’ priests, since touch-feeliness is hardly a crime, a sin or even necessarily a character flaw.

Back when I was a Catholic, what I would do when I knew people would be in your situation, I would purposely go up to them and introduce myself and say hello and chat, then I would slowly start introducing the newbies to everyone else so by the time they got up their and Father Whiskey Breath introduced them to everyone, they really needed no introduction.

So try this out, you and your husband chat it up with as many people as you can before the intro, that way it takes some of the pressure off. Hope this helps.

I would say God bless you, but my theistic God doesn’t involve himself in the affairs of mankind, much like your God.

If it promotes clapping in church , I’m against it

–a one line phrase from a song called ‘I’m against it’

As Rite of Acceptance or Rite of Welcome, this is a prayer. Put your faith in God and in His Church. Remember, those people are your family.

I don’t think that this introduction has anything to do with RCIA, as this is, as I read what the OP noted, standard operatingi procedure in the parish for new parishioners. New members of a parish are not necessarily new members of the Church. You can be a lifelong Catholic and become a new member of a parish.



I agree. Tell the priest/pastor that you do not wish this to happen. If he can’t respect your wishes in this matter, it is likely that he will not accept your wishes in other matters and as was already suggested, I would just stand up during the introduction and walk out. If anyone should ask where you are going, you can tell them that you are off to find ANOTHER parish – one that is sensitive to your feelings.

Our Lord will be holding your hand and it will be over before you know it.

God Bless :slight_smile:

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