Okay this is basically the same sort of message I sent to my friend, and it is my long worry. I just am scared. I am so thankful that all worked out well, but I still can’t get to sleep. I don’t know, it will just help me feel better to get it out of my system. Of course I told my boyfriend already. But I’m afraid to talk to too many people about it, because I hate to make them as scared as I am. That would worry me even more. So thanks for putting up with this rant-ish worry. I hope that my visit to the allergist will solve many problems. (I got diagnosed with asthma a month and a half ago, had it since Jan or Feb, I think).
I thought you might like to know (sorry I didn’t write earlier) but I had to go to the hospital today because of a really bad asthma attack. Well, today meaning yesterday, the 15th, just so you know. Just walking from my car to the library made me cough like crazy. But I thought I was okay after the albuterol. So I kept on working, and got the bookdrop. When I came back in, I had a rough time of it, that my boss got all worried, she was like, what can you do for it? I told her, I took albuterol, and can take more in 20 minutes. She said, well, what can you do in the meantime? I was like, Not too much. But I know if I start passing out then we can call the hospital. She was like “Oh.”
So I kept working, it felt like it stopped, just my chest was really tight. But then I was coughing again, and still kept coughing, then I stopped, and I had to pause because I was all lightheaded and feeling weird. My boss said, Why don’t you sit down, then you can take albuterol, then go home. At first it was like she thought of the staff room, but then made me sit out where everybody can keep an eye on me so I don’t die on them. I kinda started crying a little bit, because I was a bit scared, and I was sad I made them scared too. So I took albuterol and left after spending only 45 minutes at work. (She wanted me to call when I got home safely, too).
So I called Mom, saying I was on the way home and told her why. She offered to pick me up, but I thought i could make it, because I had just taken albuterol again. But I started really coughing again once I got on the road, and kept on coughing, and you know how it feels when you don’t have air? Your vision gets kinda weird, like you’re almost blacking out? Well, I did 60 mph on a 40 mph road. (I thought if a cop caught me, I’d drive home where Mom and Dad could take care of me, then they can talk to me. Most likely they’d see it was a time of urgent need. There were no cops on the road than goodness).
As soon as I got home and I got out of the car, I felt all weak, like I didn’t have any strength, and as soon as I got inside, I guess I looked like I was about to passout, so Mom grabbed her purse and we went to the hospital. First time I was directly admitted in the emergency room. Usually they make you wait. (Last time I went I had chest pains, and the time before was when my sister knocked herself out cold, and I went to help Mom since she was pregnant).
Got a good albuterol treatment, and boy did that help. Then they gave me steroid pills, then I was waiting for an hour so they can be sure I was under control, then I came home. I couldn’t go back to work because, like right now, it still feels like it will go off again if I do any triggers. Like moving around too fast. I feel much better now, than before. But I’m slightly afraid to fall asleep because I don’t want to have an asthma attack and not know it. Irrational, but reasonable, because it was kinda scary today. I found out from my boyfriend that he’d never been hospitalized for asthma before, so he said mine is worse than he is (and I thought his was pretty bad).
I thought you would like to know I’m doing better now. I’m going to work tomorrow anyway, just move around carefully and don’t stir up dust. I kinda need the money to make up for the money I didn’t make today. But I promise, I will be careful. I’m just still scared. I can’t laugh or cry too much, because that was triggering it too, today, made it worse. I don’t know, I’m just scared. I’m waiting until Wednesday when I can see the allergist who my boyfriend uses for his asthma, she’s really good.