School Tours & Vacation in College...scandalous?


#1

I’m in college and so is my fiance, my sister and several of my close friends.

We’ve had several oppurtunities to travel in and out of the country for time periods from a weekend to two weeks and more.

For example, my degree actually requires travel to Athens and this counts as college credit. It is cheaper when bunking in groups of three or more and I would feel more comfortable with others I know.

Also, I am very interested in attending World Youth Day in Australia.

Anyways, all this talk about traveling has got me thinking: is it scandalous to go as a single college woman on these trips? I guess family and acquaintances have given me the impression that it is less scandalous to go with strangers rather than bunk with my fiance.

I know I wouldn’t be tempted to do anything-believe me- I know! We’ve been together more than 5 years without doing anything so I can’t see giving up now. I’m worried about scandal. The last couple of trips were with a group of friends where the boys and girls could split hotel rooms, but the school trips are co-ed and assigned by degree (meaning they put everyone who is taking the trip for their degree first, then add on passengers who are just going for the trip or for other reasons).


#2

I’m confused.

Are you concerned that it might be scandalous for you to travel by yourself, as a single adult woman?

I’d have to definitely say NO. Why should a single woman need to be chaperoned in order to avoid scandal?

Or were you saying that you might be rooming with others who you don’t know on the trip?

I don’t think there’s any scandal involved in rooming with “strangers”…though I would never agree to share a hotel room with a group of men (or just one man who was not my husband) my age, even if my school arranged it that way because of my ‘degree program’ or whatever. That’s just a bad idea, for the sake of personal safety. Scandal is an afterthought…

OR is it that you are deciding between rooming with your fiance or some women you’ve never met before on one of these trips? I would have to say that rooming with your fiance would be scandalous (and probably at least a slight temptation, idk…maybe that’s just me), whatever the explanation.

This past semester, my fiance and I left home for our university before the campus opened back up after spring break (we were trying to beat some crazy midwestern storms…). There was no where for us to stay but a hotel suite (ie, two separate rooms with separate beds) that his parents rented for us. I just remember how awkward it was for us to be checking in and out of that hotel together on a Saturday night/Sunday morning…I wonder what the desk people were thinking, etc., and knew that we must have caused some little bit of scandal. It’s tough, but that’s where people’s minds generally go…


#3

I would hope the impression is that it is not scandalous to bunk with other single women on the trip. It’s an opportunity to make new single female friends, learn new cultures, and become more diverse and educate yourself about them, as well as to provide safety in numbers for single women who watch out for each other while they travel abroad.

It is scandalous, and not a good idea at all, to bunk with any other single men on the trip, including fiance. Hopefully the school doesnt intend to put single guy and girls in the same room, suite or even adjoining rooms. Degree or no degree requirement - guys on one floor, girls on the other - right.

Surely, the college is not advocating that type of arrangement and should be able to accomodate those girls only and guys only kinds of arrangements for all the students and their safety.


#4

I would say don’t freak out. There are lots of travel opportunities where men and women may have to stay at the same hostel or hotel. I would not go so far as to say that you have to be on separate floors because sometimes there is only one. I would not recommend sharing a room with your fiance or other males unless it is a primitive camping type situation such as when a whole group has to share one room in a glacier hut while wearing all of their clothing and using Arctic sleeping bags. (No chance of nudity or hankypanky there). There is also the possibility that you might end up in a coed sleeper car on a passenger train, but people wear their clothes and mind their own business. No one sleeps “together.” I don’t see anything wrong with your fiance going on a group trip where you share a room with another female.

You might have to share a bathroom that is down the hall in a hostel or some European hotels. We did that in Germany with no problem. The room with the tub/shower came with a lock and you just go in and lock the door so you are alone while actually using it. The restrooms in some places were the same way with a single toliet that had a door floor to ceiling and locked from the inside. There was no chance for spying nudity or something.


#5

Thanks, guys.

As an example, I have one upcoming trip in mind. A friend is getting married & he lives in California. I would be traveling with a friend, my sister & brother and my fiancee to stay in CA for 3 days. I would bunk with my sister.

Is this scandalous?

Also, for the school trip to Peru, it is just me and my fiancee going but we will most certainly be divided up in sleeping arrangements. Yet I get remarks and impressions from family members, especially his family, that this is wrong as we shouldn’t be traveling together before marriage.


#6

It’s definitely not scandalous to room with your sister…why ever would it be? :shrug: Nor is it scandalous to go with a date to a wedding; because you’re not married yet, you just have to come up with alternate hotel arrangements from all the married couples out there :wink:

Also, for the school trip to Peru, it is just me and my fiancee going but we will most certainly be divided up in sleeping arrangements. Yet I get remarks and impressions from family members, especially his family, that this is wrong as we shouldn’t be traveling together before marriage.

You’re not rooming together; it’s fine. There’s nothing scandalous about being seen in public with one another! The only problems come in when you’re sleeping together, in the same room/bed/whatever–those situations bring the potential for scandal (and I say potential, because I think each individual situation should be looked at…)

And honestly, people are so blunt these days that if they are ‘scandalized’/assuming things…they’ll ask you, and you can talk about your particular situation and what your relationship is like, etc.


#7

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