scruple.......


#1

“scruple – a doubt or hesitation that troubles the conscience or that comes from the difficulty of determining whether something is right” - (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scruples)

**can you have scruples about the whole of Catholicism? :confused:

I was brought up Catholic. Loved Catholicism, wanted to be a saint :slight_smile: Till…my husband and I started a family. I had terrible postpardum depression that basically never went away. I suppose I must’ve always been bipolar, but now it was really showing itself. I am now diagnosed bipolar and severly depressed, though I am on medication and doing really well now! yay! So I very recently began to think of coming back to the church. But the past few days my mind has been tortured. I tell myself, well, it could be the devil, definitely not wanting me to come back to the church. OR it could be because my mind has opened over the years (is that good or bad? hmmm), and now I get panicky about closing up again. I KNOW, that is probably insulting. I dont mean it that way. I know a lot of Catholics that have very open minds. But this is the feeling I get in my gut. I really miss being a practicing Catholic. But my mind is so tortured right now. I imagine this has something to do with my personality which is very much all or nothing, black or white. I’m either Catholic…or I’m not. I don’t like hanging in the middle. So, I think I need to relax, breathe, pray…

Ok, I’ve rambled on enough. Not sure what I am looking for here, but even just a prayer would be wonderful!

Thanks for listening <3

Meg**


#2

Stay close to the sacraments, and speak with both your priest and your therapist about this.

Memorare for Meg

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.

Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

Amen.


#3

**thank you Splagchnizomai, I will pray that often......

I don't know the priest at our parish yet, as we just moved here last Nov, and as I said I haven't been practicing. But I will try and be brave and make an appt with him. It's scary/awkward for me. I know I will be bawling my eyes out :blush: But I shouldn't be ashamed of that, right? And once I see him, I will be able to receive Communion once again, that will help also :)

meg**


#4

Pray the Memorare and, with Mary by your side, call your priest and make an appointment with him today.

Remember the Prodigal Son, Luke 15:11-32? This parable is for you!

Then he said, “A man had two sons, and the younger son said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of your estate that should come to me.’ So the father divided the property between them.

After a few days, the younger son collected all his belongings and set off to a distant country where he squandered his inheritance on a life of dissipation. When he had freely spent everything, a severe famine struck that country, and he found himself in dire need. So he hired himself out to one of the local citizens who sent him to his farm to tend the swine. And he longed to eat his fill of the pods on which the swine fed, but nobody gave him any.

Coming to his senses he thought, ‘How many of my father’s hired workers have more than enough food to eat, but here am I, dying from hunger. I shall get up and go to my father and I shall say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I no longer deserve to be called your son; treat me as you would treat one of your hired workers.”’ So he got up and went back to his father.

While he was still a long way off, his father caught sight of him, and was filled with compassion. He ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him. His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you; I no longer deserve to be called your son.’ But his father ordered his servants, ‘Quickly bring the finest robe and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Take the fattened calf and slaughter it. Then let us celebrate with a feast, because this son of mine was dead, and has come to life again; he was lost, and has been found.’ Then the celebration began.

Now the older son had been out in the field and, on his way back, as he neared the house, he heard the sound of music and dancing. He called one of the servants and asked what this might mean.

The servant said to him, ‘Your brother has returned and your father has slaughtered the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’ He became angry, and when he refused to enter the house, his father came out and pleaded with him. He said to his father in reply, ‘Look, all these years I served you and not once did I disobey your orders; yet you never gave me even a young goat to feast on with my friends. But when your son returns who swallowed up your property with prostitutes, for him you slaughter the fattened calf.’

He said to him, ‘My son, you are here with me always; everything I have is yours. But now we must celebrate and rejoice, because your brother was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.’”


#5

Hi Meg, for you and yours.... Our Father, who art in heaven hallowed by thy name, thy kingdom come, they will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.


#6

Thank you Dave......
I'm trying to keep praying without overwhelming myself.
I should say the Rosary today...

Meg


#7

Hi Meg,

Just take your return a step as a time, don't try too hard and set yourself unrealistic targets etc. I would initially just start to pray daily, then when you are comfortable enough consider returning to confession, mass and communion. Just remember that no matter where you are with your mental health or faith, God ALWAYS loves you. You are in my prayers.

God bless


#8

This prayer can, and does, work miracles. My experience has been that Jesus cannot say no to His mother. Say it often and with sincerity, concentrating on its meaning.


#9

**thanks everybody :slight_smile: Guess what I just did? I took a ride and bravely went to the Parish, that I have never even been in the parking lot of, and went to the office to set up an appt with Father Craig! I’m on my way :slight_smile: I don’t feel overwhelmed yet, but I will say my prayers and slow down if I need to. deep breath… I feel good that I stopped in. Though I know I didn’t do it on my own :slight_smile: **


#10

God bless you, Meg!


#11

In terms of your struggles....seek out in addition to your medical etc assistance (which is important --and important to have good help -- I saved one ad I saw for those in such need:catholictherapists.com/..) ..... in addition one needs to find a good Priest who you can go to.....

Even in your Struggles Christ loves you and in him is true life --that can be even now while you struggle onwards with your difficulties....towards more abundant life in him.

He can struggle with you....he loves you. In him and thus in his Church is true freedom despite your fears and your struggles and what the world may tell you...

Pope Benedict XVI:

"At this point, my mind goes back to 22 October 1978, when Pope John Paul II began his ministry here in Saint Peter’s Square. His words on that occasion constantly echo in my ears: “Do not be afraid! Open wide the doors for Christ!” The Pope was addressing the mighty, the powerful of this world, who feared that Christ might take away something of their power if they were to let him in, if they were to allow the faith to be free. Yes, he would certainly have taken something away from them: the dominion of corruption, the manipulation of law and the freedom to do as they pleased. But he would not have taken away anything that pertains to human freedom or dignity, or to the building of a just society. The Pope was also speaking to everyone, especially the young. Are we not perhaps all afraid in some way? If we let Christ enter fully into our lives, if we open ourselves totally to him, are we not afraid that He might take something away from us? Are we not perhaps afraid to give up something significant, something unique, something that makes life so beautiful? Do we not then risk ending up diminished and deprived of our freedom? And once again the Pope said: No! If we let Christ into our lives, we lose nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing of what makes life free, beautiful and great. No! Only in this friendship are the doors of life opened wide. Only in this friendship is the great potential of human existence truly revealed. Only in this friendship do we experience beauty and liberation. And so, today, with great strength and great conviction, on the basis of long personal experience of life, I say to you, dear young people: Do not be afraid of Christ! He takes nothing away, and he gives you everything. When we give ourselves to him, we receive a hundredfold in return. Yes, open, open wide the doors to Christ – and you will find true life."

-- Pope Benedict XVI 2005


#12

Brilliant Meg:)!


#13

you read my mind bookcat…
thank you…


#14

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