I’m kind of terrified right now after reading a sermon from St. Alphonsus de Ligouri. As you all probably know, I’m very scrupulous.
He basically says that to disobey one’s confessor is to disobey God. He would no longer need to be tempted by the devil, because his act of disobedience would make him a devil himself. And he quotes many other saints and scripture sharing similar sentiments.
Heres the thing that is really making me anxious and nervous.
I am always wondering “Is this a sin? Is that a sin? Am I obligated to do this? That?”
Now I was reading St. Alphonsus’s advice on this matter (which seems to be a common principle for scruples to obey) that “For the scrupulous, If one is in doubt about what he is about to do is sinful or not, or if he is obligated to act or not act, he can freely assume the act is no sinful nor is there any obligation”
BUT, my regular confessor says “if one is in doubt about whether something is a sin, and commits the act anyway, he sins.”
So now I’m worried that I am sinning every time I am conflicted with the above-mentioned situation about acting in doubt. I’m not sure what to do. I’m tempted to find another confessor but, according to the sermon, “After having made choice of a confessor, you should not leave him without a just and manifest cause.”
I am also worried that he will say something is sinful when it really isn’t. For example, he might say it is a sin to play the piano. Would I be doomed by disobedience by playing the piano knowing that the common rational view is piano playing is lawful?