Searching for a Spiritual Director

I am intersted in finding a spiritual director but would like to learn more about the potential for this relationship before I pursue it more actively. A nun from our diocese recommended some people for me to contact, but, while I love them all, and pray for them all, I don’t always trust members of this diocese which I am new too, b/c they have been w/o a good and faithful shepherd here for so long.

I guess what I’m asking is: What should I expect to give and get from a relationship w/ a SD (I’ve never had one)? What questions should I ask of a person I consider asking to journey with me?

Thanks for you help.

You need a holy person, who is very knowledgeable and faithful to the Church. It is best to be a priest as he can also be your confessor. You can try people to see if you think they are for you. You tell the SD about all your struggles, victories in the spiritual life. Your desires, apostolate and anything that effects you spiritually. To gain the most benefit you have no secrets. Tell the SD everything. problems , once revealed , will lessen and may disappear. The Holy Spirit will speak to you through your SD. It’s omportant to do what the SD says, provided it is lawful, as God won’t hold you accountable if the SD makes any mistakes. The SD will slowly try to mould you into a Saint. You will receive special lights & inspirations in SD.
You should consider making a donation to the order etc. Ask the SD what the norm is. But I would not recommend making the donation to the SD directly. Makes things awkward. Once a mth to start, then see what the SD says.
SD will help you to become a full person - a Saint. The SD will encourage you, scold you with necessary, advise you and pray for you.
A little quote I heard from some Saint-
The soul without a SD is like a leaf that falls from the tree. The wind comes and it is blown this way…then that way…
You cannot become a Saint without a SD. If you cannot find one then the Holy Spirit may direct you himself , but this is rare.
I have been seeing a priest from Opus Dei for about 15 yrs and it is a wonderful blessing. Good luck finding one.

Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal your spiritual director to you. Take a day and pray about each person on your list. During that day, imagine your self sharing your journey with them, see what the Holy Spirit reveals to you.

Also, if you have a regular confessor, ask him who he would recommend. If he knows your journey, he may be able to recommend someone who would have a particular affinity to your trials or challenges.

Ask other holy people you know. Who their SD is, if they have one, or who they would possibly recommend.

I agree that having a priest is a wonderful bonus, as he can be your confessor, but I know other people who have SD who are lay people who are very happy with the fruits of their journey.

Good luck.

I was just listening to , “Imitation of Christ,” by Thomas A Kempis. This is a wonderful quote which deals with this subject. Hope you like it.
The Ninth Chapter

Obedience and Subjection

IT IS a very great thing to obey, to live under a superior and not to be one’s own master, for it is much safer to be subject than it is to command. Many live in obedience more from necessity than from love. Such become discontented and dejected on the slightest pretext; they will never gain peace of mind unless they subject themselves wholeheartedly for the love of God.

Go where you may, you will find no rest except in humble obedience to the rule of authority. Dreams of happiness expected from change and different places have deceived many.

Everyone, it is true, wishes to do as he pleases and is attracted to those who agree with him. But if God be among us, we must at times give up our opinions for the blessings of peace.

Furthermore, who is so wise that he can have full knowledge of everything? Do not trust too much in your own opinions, but be willing to listen to those of others. If, though your own be good, you accept another’s opinion for love of God, you will gain much more merit; for I have often heard that it is safer to listen to advice and take it than to give it. It may happen, too, that while one’s own opinion may be good, refusal to agree with others when reason and occasion demand it, is a sign of pride and obstinacy.

I recently found a Spiritual Director, although he will only be so in the short term.

In my case it was special circumstances and gifts I know he has that drew me to him. I prayed a lot about this and finally realized that I had to bite the bullet and talk to him. I also had expressed my feelings to some other people I know and who know this priest, and all encouraged me to talk to him.

What I did was approached him and asked to speak with him…we made an appointment. I explained to him that I was seeking an SD, and wanted to ask him, however I was aware that he is leaving us soon and he currently has a busy schedule…so acknowledging this I asked him who he may recommend for me or how I would go about finding the right person.

We spoke a little more and without giving me an absolute “yes” he gave me an assignment, asked me to contact him in a week and set another. We meet sporadically as his schedule (and mine) permits and this is a very new situation.

I’m currently completing an assignment and when it is complete I have been directed to call him to set another appointment.

That’s how it’s been for me and I am very new to this. I would say that if you feel drawn to someone, maybe they’re not really the one you’re meant to go to but they may guide you.

Pray a lot and spend time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Keep a journal of the answers you recieve when you ask Jesus directly, and see if that insight helps lead you the right way.

God Bless!

Thanks for the responses here.

I guess your responses make me think more about the idea that this person should be a priest–none of the people recommneded to me are priests!

I love my pastor as a person, but again, he has been w/o a faithful shepherd so long, and I don’t feel good about speaking to him about this. I don’t really know any other priests here since I am new to the area.

I know I need to turn more deeply to prayer about this. Thank you for helping me see that. Please pray for me.

I feel like a child right now. I feel clueless!

It’s not required that your SD be a priest. There are 2 sides to this issue, though…some people recommend that your SD also be your confessor, some argue against this.

Put it in God’s hands. Do you have a convent or a monastery near by? Some people have found SD’s there…you may want to look into that if possible.

Otherwise don’t be afraid to go to your priest, esp. if he is someone you trust. He may not have the time or the training, but he may be able to help lead you in the right direction.

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