I am battling God and myself. I am overwhelmed with it all. Don’t know what to do. I start to commit myself to Him then run. Any suggestions??
There are three things I can suggest
Talk to a good priest about your struggle. By honest and open about your dilemma.
Get a hold of some good conversion stories regarding people who committed there lives to christ. There are many stories on the net that would be helpful to you.
Pray. That may be difficult for you, but trust me, if you honestly reach out to God, he will not let you down.
Hope this helps.
Gospel has many great tips.
You may want to start with some prayers from a book or check for prayers on this forum. Use the search tool.
I think you may have issues with trust in general. When talking to a the priest make sure you cover this area with him. You can talk to a priest even if you are not Catholic.
We must trust in God to take care of us. He will take care of us if we want him or not. You must believe that He is there for you. We all must continually pray for an increase in faith. You can do this simply throughout the day. Just simply say, “Lord, increase my faith.”
I have the same problem. Here some things that help me. First of all pray, even if you don’t do anything else. It’s hard when you’re battling God, I know. I’m angry at Him right now and I often find myself telling Him how to run His kingdom when I pray. Yeah, it’s silly. I know I’m dirt compared to God and that He’s got everything under perfect control, but it’s helps to vent to someone who’s always listening and always understands. I usually don’t feel like He understands or is listening or even cares, but these are the times I need to go with what I know and not what I feel. Don’t worry if you’re yelling at Him or arguing with Him. God loves us so much that He wants to hear from us. He’d rather have us yelling at Him than not talking to Him at all. Get it out and then pray that you will be able to surrender to Him and just let Him love you. Being loved by God can hurt at first especially if we’ve never felt loved before. But shortly, it stops hurting and we realize that His love is what we’ve been searching for all this time.
I too commit myself to Him and then run. Sometimes I let Him help me and show me the way and I listen and I follow. Then the next day I tell Him, “Okay, thanks for the help God, I can take it from here.” Then I screw things up again. I need Him always; I can’t do anything without Him. I heard something on Catholic radio that also describes what I do. God is talking to this guy and says, “My love, you gave me the keys to your heart; why did you make me knock?” The guy says, “That was yesterday, today I have changed the locks.” Just know you are not alone is this. However, “together” everyone else seems to have it, we all go through this in greater or lesser degrees.
A spiritual director like a priest is also good advice. My therapist helps me a lot too. You got to be careful when looking for those type of people though. They must be solidly Catholic, teaching what the Church teaches and/or letting the teachings of Christ guide their practice of therapy. If not, they could do more harm than good.
Before seeking one of them out, I’d suggest getting some good friends who share a common struggle with you. I have a great group of friends who all struggle with chastity. We encourage and support each other, we hold each other accountable, and most importantly, we pray for each other. In another post you mentioned that you met a priest. See if there is a group at his parish that you might fit into.
In the other post you also mentioned going to confession. This is absolutely great! Yeah, it is scary. I was afraid that if I let Jesus into my heart, He would see what a mess I’d made of it. But He didn’t. He just started to love me. Or I should say, I started to let Him love me. He’d been loving me all along, I just wouldn’t allow it. Have courage, go to confession, it won’t be as hard as you think.
I’m sorry this was so long. You’re post was short and I didn’t have much detail, but I identified a lot with what you did write so I hope you can relate to some of it. Most of the time, I’m the one who needs to hear the advice I give more than the person I’m giving it to. Merry Christmas!
Pax et bonum
Whatever your struggles, read your Bible, pray to the Father through Jesus Christ and ask the Holy Spirit’s guidance on the matter. Trust in Him above all else.
I am not sure if you know this, but sometimes The Heavenly Father says yes immediately, or sometimes He wants you to learn patience and sometimes the answer is no; or at least, not at this time.
God does not let us down ever. His wisdom is sure. You will be amazed at the answeres you will get if you only trust Him.
[quote=New Heart]God does not let us down ever.
Don’t let yourself be deceived. Disappointment and let down is a part of life. It is given to us so that we may learn from it and grow spiritually. God does not give us more than we can bear. It is best to surrender your will to the Triune God and let Him take care of the rest.
Kipper, your answer is prayer.
Spiritual exercise is a lot like physical exercise in the sense that starting is the ahrdest pert, and sticking to a routine. I know I should not, but I still question sufferings that God gives me, and when I am going through those phases, it is difficult to start praying, but once I start, like staring a run or, things usually get easier for at least that time period and most often I feel relieved and consoled an refreshed.
Even the amazing Theresa of Avila speaks of tiems that she had difficulty motivating herself to prayer and neglected her spiritual life. I think John of the Cross’ book Dark Night of the Soul, is a lot about that as well.
Frances de Sales has a book titled something like “Introduction to the Devout Life,” which has helpful shcapters about suffering, and spiritual dryness.
And I have found much consolation inf Catherine of Sienna’s “Dialogue” which explins that God always does what is best for our soul. That sometiems we don’t ahve things that make it easier for us in this life, beucase we might not be able to keep to his path as easliy or at all, if we have everythign we feel we need right now. Yes, this is not always easy to believe when “things we think we need” are a stable housing situation, permanent income to allow us to feed ourselves an meet our student loan payments, or reliable transportation, and loneliness can be overwhelming at times too, but overall we have to do our bes to try to have faith in God, while remembering that faith is ultimately a grace given as well. Keep in mind stories of people who struggled like Job, Ruth, and Jacob when he wrestled with the angel.
Yeah I know I should pray. It is hard. I am in a big fight with God. Sometimes I can talk with God and others it is really hard. I will just sit in the Chapel and know He is near, but I can’t talk with Him. God doesn’t know unless I talk with Him, but He knows everything. I have talked with a Priest. He has been excellent. We are working with a counsellor to get me sorted out. Yes, I have trust issues. I want to trust in God but as soon as I get close or feel challenged I get really angry. I don’t want to get mad at God but I can’t help it.
What are you searching for? What are you afraid of? Is there something in your past which is hold you back?
“BE STILL, AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD” (psalms 46:10).
We are praying for you.
Two excellent CD’s to listen to are the conversion story of Jeff Cavins and Scott Hahn. Perhaps they will help!
Blessings to you!
You can run, but you can’t hide.