Second-Guessing God


#1

Hi, I have a dumb question. I'm wondering about how you can tell God's answer to your prayers.

Last March, I saw that my old job that I'd left over two years ago had come open, so I applied for it. The job that I was working at in March was intolerable for various reasons. The job that I applied for was at the same place where they'd hired my husband after I'd already worked there over two years. He ended up getting "laid off" (their way of firing him) because he'd kept on having dust-ups with the boss. I quit too, as soon as I found another job, to save face so to speak.

After applying for my old job in March, I never heard back from my application; they kept on having admin problems and red tape, etc. So I thought that I wouldn't hear back at all. In July, I accepted a position at the place where I am now. I don't like it here either. I haven't done anything for five months! And it's farther away from home, I don't like the surroundings, etc. The only good thing is the pay.

Surprise, I got a call from my former supervisor earlier this month (December), wanting to know if I was still interested in my old job! Well, yeah I was still interested! So I told her so, and have gone through the hoops to apply, get interviewed, and a little birdie tells me they're going to extend me an offer.

Well, because my husband got "laid off" from that place, he thinks I shouldn't go for that job. It was a really awful time for him, but I'd been at that job for three years total and despite my occasional disagreements with my supervisor and other hassles, I liked the job and didn't really want to quit; just did it to "stick up for" my husband. And I was "artificially" angry at everything myself. He thinks I'll be better off where I am, once we get the equipment we're supposed to get (that I'm supposed to work on) that I have been waiting for for five months! I think he's just spiteful or jealous. He knows it was a good job for me, I enjoyed the location, and it's half as far away from home. He's said it's my choice, but has even gone so far as to say that he's capable of physical harm if I took the job and he heard someone was bad to me. I'm sure that's just his pride and blustering, but you get my drift...

I've been praying for a good job practically the whole time; I went from a good job to three bad ones, and now I have the opportunity to get my good job back. It wasn't perfect by any means; no job is. I think there's more to a job than just how much you get paid, though, which my husband always says when he's grumbling about his job, but now that it's me I guess that rule doesn't apply.

So it's not so much about the obvious question of "what should I do?" the bigger question to me is, "Can't I just see this as God's answer to my prayers?" instead of "Oh gosh, now what should I do? Is this a test from God?" etc. etc. etc.... How do you stop second-guessing God?

Thanks :confused:


#2

Abandon yourself to divine providence. Look back, only for the purpose of seeing how God has worked in your life up to this point. You may very well see that He is gently guiding you in a particular direction. Go in that direction until and unless it becomes very clear that it is not for you. Graciously accept both the good and the bad, since God intends it for the perfection of your soul.


#3

I would keep the dialogue open with hubby. Any problems going back to your previous job are going to come from him. He could be jealous, he could be envious, he could be threatened because you will be back in a place he could not succeed in. He has problems with that company and they might become YOUR problems. Does the company have any family events that he might have to attend? (summer picnic, Christmas party?) That might be very awkward as things stand.

If it were me, I'd clear my agenda, tell hubby that we need to talk this out thoroughly and completely, air ALL the grievances, lance the wound, etc. Get to a point where he can accept your decision to go back.

Does HE believe in God's intervention on a personal level? Can HE see it as a blessing? Or is he just sour-graping?


#4

Po, Juliane, thanks for your answers! Well, as I was typing an answer to you yesterday, my supervisor came in and started asking me what I'm going to do after April...does my company have a plan to place me somewhere else...etc. As in, he'd heard something about our contract not going past April. So I asked him, have you heard something I haven't? He told me that my coworker (same company as me: we're contractors, supervisor is government) had told him that the funding is questionable for both of us after April. And, it's going to be longer until I get the equipment than what they'd thought. It keeps getting pushed back. So why wouldn't I go to the other job that I want to go to, if it's doubtful that this job is going to be funded after April anyway? Well I canceled out of typing my reply since he was talking to me, and it was interesting that this came to light while I was thinking about the whole situation.

Juliane, yep, I'm trying to keep the dialogue open, but right now we're busy and there isn't a suitable time to hash this out. I have been somewhat subdued about talking to him about this more than necessary. He saw a resignation letter I'd typed up and sent to myself, in my email (he wasn't snooping, I was showing him a picture I got), and he said "What?" sort of alarmed, but I said "Oh, this is just in case anything happens with this other job." (it was a draft I sent myself to try to word it properly) He didn't make a big thing out of it. Since he's in the same line of work I am, he realizes you've gotta take what comes. He might be unhappy about it, but hey--working there would be better than being unemployed here after April. So I'm waiting for the time where I have to make the choice, and that would be when I actually get the offer letter. He'd said before that I shouldn't accept an offer that was under a certain salary, and I pretty much agree with that. So I think he's conflicted about the whole thing, but like I said, better to work at a place he doesn't like than be unemployed altogether. I actually brought up the subject to him, of second-guessing God but he didn't seem to have an opinion about it. I said, "So how come something just can't be God's answer to our prayers instead of everything being a test for us?" He didn't really have an answer. As far as company functions go, there really aren't any that both of us would be required to attend, so that part wouldn't matter.

Po, I understand what you're saying, I think. In fact, here's another example. We bought a townhome a year and a half ago. It wasn't the one we'd put the offer on, but it came up for sale in the same neighborhood while we were trying to buy the first one. So we went over to look at it just for the heck of it. Surprise, it all felt like, "Oh, THIS is the one we're meant to have!" So it worked out that the owner of the first house rejected our contingent offer, we put an offer on the second house which turned out to be accepted, and it turned out that it's a much better house for us. Is that maybe the providential guidance you're talking about?

So after yesterday's talk with my supervisor, everything seems to be logically pointing in the direction of the job that I want to get rather than staying here. But the job and the house are just examples, of trying to get to the point where I can stop second-guessing God. I'm trying to gain some insight into how God's answering me rather than rely on my own flip-flopping. I suppose it's a small part of the big question, how do I conform with God's will in everyday decisionmaking?


#5

[quote="SecretBeliever, post:4, topic:224052"]
Po, I understand what you're saying, I think. In fact, here's another example. We bought a townhome a year and a half ago. It wasn't the one we'd put the offer on, but it came up for sale in the same neighborhood while we were trying to buy the first one. So we went over to look at it just for the heck of it. Surprise, it all felt like, "Oh, THIS is the one we're meant to have!" So it worked out that the owner of the first house rejected our contingent offer, we put an offer on the second house which turned out to be accepted, and it turned out that it's a much better house for us. Is that maybe the providential guidance you're talking about?

So after yesterday's talk with my supervisor, everything seems to be logically pointing in the direction of the job that I want to get rather than staying here. But the job and the house are just examples, of trying to get to the point where I can stop second-guessing God. I'm trying to gain some insight into how God's answering me rather than rely on my own flip-flopping. I suppose it's a small part of the big question, how do I conform with God's will in everyday decisionmaking?

[/quote]

It is a very difficult and counter-intuitive thing for us to do, but we are nevertheless well advised to abandon ourselves to divine providence. I can heartily recommend a short book Searching for and Maintaining Peace by Fr. Jacques Phillipe. It offers wonderful counsel in such times.

I am such a proponent of self-abandonment because I am alive solely because of God's mercy. By looking back at what has occurred in your life,, you may see the genius of God's plan for you. Yes, it takes great faith to abandon oneself.

May Christ's peace be with you.


#6

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