Okay, time for a lawyer taking about love again. :rolleyes:
I agree with the previous posters. A healthy relationship is about understanding and communication, not about that kind of games.
In fact, some of those “dynamics” are in human nature, they aren’t altogether unhealthy and they can actually be fun at times. Except they should never be treated as hard-coded rules to follow.
Next, a relationship is not a roleplay. Relationships are lived, not acted out. Relationships are not about executing a sequence. Beware OCD.
As far as people expecting some kind of rules to be followed go, there’s something wrong with people making rules for those who want to play with game. You don’t want to be a kid saying, “if you want to play football with me, you must follow this couple of rules… Rule A, rule B, rule C…”, nor do you really want to play with that kid.
Needless to say, we’ve all had some experience (you too, and I too) and this is no reason to think the girl is somehow very odd. She just needs to losen up a bit and allow herself to enjoy life as it comes. You may as well tell her this and the more directly, the better. I’m sure many of the wise ladies here will tell you direct communication is good and better than having a guy read their minds!
Be strong, don’t obsess, don’t be anxious to please if she comes up with weird ideas, but just tell her it’s weird. Make sure she’s happpy, but not by having her demands met. Show her things to do and interesting pastimes. Make sure you can give her something she won’t have on her own - or with other guys, e.g. an interesting trip to an interesting place with a nice narrative (if she’s into history, technology, nature…), make sure you take her to quality places as far as coffee, drinks, ice-cream etc. go, don’t falter if she swings into a whimsical mood. She might catch up a bit on growing up if you’re the stable element. Sometimes people get over their eccentricities surprisingly fast, you know, and are surprisingly normal besides them (while normal people can have surprising eccentricities that come out when you get to know them more closely).
Perhaps try to look at it this way. She doesn’t need to shrink in size and tremble in obedience when you get into a foul mood because e.g. garage work isn’t working out or your boss isn’t happy or some workmate is being a donkey or a customer is going nuts or lack of sleep kicks in. You’d want her to leave you alone until you get better or help you get better if she knows how, but not be intimidated and attempt to appease you as if you were a psychotic tyrant flying off the handle.
Same way, if she gets weird for a moment, she probably wouldn’t like you to start walking on eggshells but rather be understanding for the time being and perhaps give her a slight push that she might want to get a better grip of it.
By the way, yes, you can tell a woman you disagree and no, you don’t need to use subjunctive mood on every verb. In fact, it’s probably better to make a short sentence in a steady male voice, but in a non-aggressive way. People don’t always know they’re being a bit of a pain and they don’t always take ill to being informed by others (gently) that they are.
By the way, it can actually be annoying when people beat around the bush and walk on eggshels around you because it makes you feel like you’re being treated like a mentally unstable person. I’d much rather be told directly and you probably too. Women aren’t actually much different from us here. To some extent yes. You can’t be as direct as with a dood. But as long as you’re courteous, it’s probably better to tell her directly and cut the games at that point.
As far as courtesy goes, I believe it’s acceptable to tell a woman that coming up with not too reasonable rules is not a good idea. At this stage in my life, I probably would, although as far back as two years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to. You just need to do it without grudge or offence. Remember you’re talking to a friend about something that makes you feel less than good but could easily be changed. I don’t want to make relationships or feelings look shallow, but you’d know what to do if you wanted a friend to please move a yard away from you and closer to the window with that cigarette, right? It’s much similar with stuff that people do or say that makes you less than comfortable but isn’t a big deal in the bigger light of things.
Someone whack me on the head with a pan for the length of this. Whatevergirl, I can count on you with this one, can’t I?