We dated six years before marrying, and were virgins when we married. We’ve been happily married 28 years, and according to the current issue of Glamour Magazine, we have sex more than the average young couple!
I knew we were right for each other when we were in college and had been dating about three years. I got the Russian flu–fever of 107 (I’m not kidding!) and barfing at the mere thought of food. My future husband sat with me, help me clean myself up, brought me treats, and made sure I was OK.
I would say that before you decide, do hard things together. Anyone can have a great time with almost anyone at a movie and a restaurant. But can you get along volunteering to run the dunking booth together for your church’s annual Fun Fair?!
My husband and I worked on several school projects together in high school, and co-starred in our Senior play. We did many, many church projects together, especially those involving children and teenagers, and In college, we continued working together in church on various ministries.
I would suggest service projects, e.g., a mission trip, serving in a soup kitchen together on a regular basis, helping build a school in a third world country, working with toddlers in your church VBS, becoming youth group sponsors or helpers, becoming tutors or mentors for underprivileged kids.
Make sure you do things with children-there are lots of community endeavors for children that require volunteers. Get involved–help out with your local Children’s Theater Project, or volunteer to help co-coach a children’s sports team, or volunteer to work at Special Olympics.
THESE kinds of projects will really help you discern whether you are right for each other. If you can’t get along and you hate working together, then how on earth will you enjoy being together for the rest of your life?
Also, spend lots of time with each other’s family. Do you get along and even enjoy your families? After all, you will be “marrying” all these people, too!
Don’t base ANYTHING on feelings. Another reason my husband and I knew we were right for each other is that we enjoyed so many of the same things. E.g., on Labor Day, we spend our entire day GLUED to the television watching the Jerry Lewis telethon. We have done this for over 30 years. Cookout, party, parade–it doesn’t matter. We will be home watching the telethon. Even when we had babies and toddlers, we spent the holiday home watching the telethon.
How many other people do this? Not many! But WE do.
We enjoy a lot of other common interests, too. If you don’t enjoy common interests–RED FLAG!
One more thing–can you talk about the “big” subjects: Money, Relatives, Religion, Sex, Children, Politics. If you have to “hush up” on ANY of these subjects, then you aren’t right for each other.