Seeking for advise in dealing with mother


#1

I joined the catholic church over a year ago and brought my children with me. My mother has barely spoken to me since I became catholic. She is very bias about the catholic church and thinks that I am leading my children into ruins. I am at a loss of words on what to say to her to make her understand my beliefs and values. I have been praying for help on this matter for over a year. My mother does not have much of a religious background and claims she doesn’t know what she believes in now. I am just torn as to what to say. I have had to limit contact with my children with her because of her views and that just feels wrong. Does any one have any advice on how to handle this situation and still have my mother in our lives? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks
RachaelRene


#2

I feel so sad for you…

It must be so hard, but stay strong with what YOU believe in.

It is your faith, and don’t let your mother rock your boat.

My FIL was brought up to HATE Catholics in Scotland and to throw rocks at them etc… I have been with his son for 13 years and he finally accepts that i am Catholic. We have had so many arguments over the years due to my stubborness with my faith… (All worth it, let me tell you…) My husband and i broke up for 8 months (before we were married) as i couldn’t take any more Catholic Bashing… He ended up seeing the light… or he just missed me heaps! :smiley:

My husband and i were married in the Catholic Church and our son is Baptised Catholic and will go to Catholic School. My FIL was visiting from interstate the week of the Baptism and went back home early to make a statement and *just to miss *his only true grandchild’s Catholic Christening - (he may as well as stabbed me in the heart with that one.) :mad: My FIL’s brother was disgusted with him leaving before the Baptism - but he is a Protestant and has a belief system.

My husband actually likes and wants me to take our son to Mass now and knows that there is something bigger and better than he will ever comprehend… He also admits that his father was brainwashed as a child to hate Catholics for no reason., and admits that he was brought up the same way… :frowning: He was an atheist when i met him, and now he is an agnostic… I am eagerly awaiting the next leap…:stuck_out_tongue:

Stay strong with what you believe in. My mother is such a devout Catholic, i have no idea what it would be like to have your mother disagree with your heart’s beliefs… I will pray for you and for your mum to ease up a bit on you, and that maybe God will touch her one day.

My mother and i share Jesus and our beautiful, rich faith. I am terrified that our son will not be a believer one day… So i try to encourage him but not drum it into him that there is a God… I am terrified of not having my child/ren share my faith… Teach your precious children about our heritage - we have an awesome faith!

May God bless you and keep you strong. :slight_smile:

There is a book called The Mighty Tempest by Michelle and Rachelle Hamilton. It is about a journey that a mother and daughter took in the Philippines. The mother had just found Jesus, the daughter was a non believer…

Disaster struck and i won’t go into detail but Michelle (the daughter) was left on her own in a little boat being circled by sharks and she heard God’s voice tell her that she would be ok… She was saved and is now evangelising people for the Glory of God. It is the most amazing story… I have it on cassette too…

Michelle and her husband Keith have formed Jonah Ministries and speak about Jesus everywhere they go… They aren’t Catholic, but they love Jesus… :slight_smile:

We will pray for your mum.


#3

RachaelRene, this may be more than just a religious disagreement. Mothers and daughters have a way of separating and coming back together again, no matter what the issue. It is all part of maturation and becoming independent of your mother.

You can still love her inspite of her silent treatment, just see it as a necessary step on her part when it comes to letting go of you and allowing you to grow up. BTW, this really has nothing to do with chronological age, it has more to do with emotions.

We know that mothers and daughters have a very strong bond, sometimes a gift from God, sometimes a Cross.

Bear your Cross for the benefit of yourself and your children. It won’t be long before your mother grows to accept the idea that her daughter is an independent thinker, but emotionally mature enough to let mom grieve without retaliation.

God bless you, you are in our prayers.


#4

My mom teased me constantly and made all sorts of jabs at me at family gatherings when I became Catholic. She is also a drama queen on occasion and takes things personally when things have nothing to do with her (sorry, Mom!). But she IS in RCIA this year so I must have handled it okay. :smiley:

In your shoes, I would still make the effort to call once in a while and be kind to her no matter what. Don’t bring up church, necessarily. I mean, if she says “What did you do Thursday night?” and the real answer is, “We went to a rosary mass,” then don’t lie, but don’t go on and on about it.

Even Our Lord had problems when He tried to preach in his hometown. They were going to kill Him, but He left. Sometimes when people are too close to it, they don’t want to hear it. That’s fine, so feel them out, and if they are not receptive, let your actions speak louder than words. Let God work on her in other ways.

With my mom, it just turned out that she was afraid that I was judging her and that I thought she was going to hell for being a Protestant, when really, all I wanted was to share this wonderful experience with her. I just persevered and gave simple, truthful answers to her questions, and just continued to love her like always, and she came around.

My prayers are with you. I hope things improve!


#5

The above advice is good.

Remember, you may be the first Catholic she has known and the example you set to mom will influence how she sees the Church.

Love her, thank her for the faith foundation she instilled in you, focus on the things you have in common - and as often as possible, use terms that are familiar to her. (For example, it is not “uncatholic” to mention what was in the Scripture today instead of in the “Daily Readings” - if you use the term she knows, she will see what you have in common.)

Ler her see that you still love Jesus, that you are still a Christian and that you are growing ever closer to our Lord.

Do not fight over faith with her. If a question starts to turn to a fight, tell her that you do not want this to turn into a fight and suggest she come ask her question of strangers here :slight_smile: Or, point her to a good reading resource.

Above all, be a good loving daughter.


#6

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