I have decided to convert to Catholicism with my soon to be husband (he was baptised catholic but really wasnt raised Catholic) and to say the least my father is very upset. He is at his core anti-catholic, calling me wretched and “spiritually dead” for wanting to become catholic while stating silly claims such as, “you will accept mary as your God if you become Catholic” and the whole “whore of Babylon” nonsense. Our last conversations have not gone well and we are at the moment not talking. I have sent two emails asking him to respect me and my choices and to move on but no answer from him so I will stop making the effort. He claims to care about the truth but goes to people like Jack Chick (SP?) for his resources, my question is, does anyone see anything wrong with me signing his email address up for catholic e-letters such as the one found on this website? Or should I just move on and forget my father, recognizing there is no hope for our relationship?
[quote=suger_free_56]I have decided to convert to Catholicism with my soon to be husband (he was baptised catholic but really wasnt raised Catholic) and to say the least my father is very upset. He is at his core anti-catholic, calling me wretched and “spiritually dead” for wanting to become catholic while stating silly claims such as, “you will accept mary as your God if you become Catholic” and the whole “whore of Babylon” nonsense. Our last conversations have not gone well and we are at the moment not talking. I have sent two emails asking him to respect me and my choices and to move on but no answer from him so I will stop making the effort. He claims to care about the truth but goes to people like Jack Chick (SP?) for his resources, my question is, does anyone see anything wrong with me signing his email address up for catholic e-letters such as the one found on this website? Or should I just move on and forget my father, recognizing there is no hope for our relationship?
There is always hope for your relationship. Continue to write him but don’t sign him up for unwanted e-mails. You will only make him more resentful.
You will eventually win him over with your love and christian attitude. When he sees what Catholicism does for you, undoubtedly his stance will change…be that living example of Christ on earth!
You have the chance to be the best advertisement for Catholicism your dad has ever seen, in fact, you may be the only real life example he has know in his life! This is a fantastic opportunity.
Jesus clearly told us how to spot Christians – John 13:35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
We are also told to be patient with our fellow Christians:
Eph 4:2 With all lowliness and meakness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love.
So, be loving and patient with your dad. If let your “light so shine” he will recognize Jesus in you, your love and joy will do more than a thousand apologetics books.
If your dad did not love you, he would not be concerned. If you sever the relationship with your father, you could confirm all the negative things he feels about Catholicism. However, if he sees that you are becoming a more glowing Christian – he may see that his fears were unfounded.
Focus on your shared love of Jesus, focus on the common faith. I always thank my non Catholic parents for giving me the amazing gift of a Christian home, that built a faith foundation that has kept me through some very hard times. Let your father see that you are not rejecting his faith, you are embracing his faith and building on the Christian foundation he gave.
When we visit our parents, (non Catholic), we always attend thier church services in addition to attending Mass… another way to show our love for them.
Praying for you!
Heh. I think that’s an awesome idea. However, probably not helpful. It’s never as satisfying as open warfare, but if you’re serious about your faith, being an example is always the best course of action. A good example, that is…
Take it from me–I once went around to all the area churches and tacked up on their front door “Why praying the rosary will change your life” or some such thing. I have no knowledge of that converting anybody. The local priest, however, was not pleased…
Remember one thing. You dad obviously believes all this garbage he is spewing about the Chruch. You are his little girl and at a good father’s core is the desire to protect his children. My husband has dealt with this similar situation with his mother. You dad has probably been taught these lies since he can remember. IT is all he knows, so for him to realize it is wrong will probably entail a long process.
When you marry, your husband and children become your first priority, with Jesus at the center. When we put Jesus first, and He is the Rock we lean on, we put our husbands, parents, children and friends in the right place and perspective. If Jesus is our perfect center, we aren’t as crushed with the people we love aren’t perfect and we focus on helping them to transform their souls as they travel life’s road with God, and we want all good things for them
It must be very painful for you. None of us want to disappoint our fathers, whether they be our earthly fathers or our Heavenly Father.
You are doing the right thing so try not to allow yourself to feel any guilt. Treat your father with respect, even if that means you need to let him “cool off” for awhile. Try to treat him with the same love Jesus would want you to treat him with. We are commanded to honor our mothers and fathers which can be a huge challenge at times, especially in this situation. Honoring your parents does not mean allowing them to behave however they want. It means that you treat your dad with love and respect, but not at the expense of Truth and Jesus Christ.
If he behaves in an angry or irrational way, try to keep your cool and just say something like “Dad, I can see you are angry and I understand your anger. I love you. I will give you time to calm down and if you want to ask me any questions I will be happy to answer them. I love you and respect you, but I also deserve to be treated with respect.” Pray for him, be patient and kind. In time, if he cares about your relationship, he will try to understand why you are converting to the Catholic Church and will realize that his beliefs about the Church are innacurate and unjustified.
For your dad to realize that what he has believed for so many years is wrong will be a huge challenge. It will be understandably difficult for him to overcome pride, the desire to protect his daughter, and to accept the fact that he was taught hateful prejudices and slandar by people he trusted in his past. Be patient pray for peace in your heart, pray that you will say and do the right things for your father , and God Bless you on your Journey
Welcome Home! You are and will be truly blessed for putting God first. God has a plan for you and it will all work out if you continue to seek and follow His Will, even if you can’t see it now. If you want to see a rainbow, the sign of God’s promise, sometimes you have to bear though the thunderstorms.
Your dad is blessed to have you for a daughter and he will realize it when he opens his heart. Right now he just wants to keep you within his protective circle, what is familiar to him and what he knows. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.
I would only send the e-letters with their permission. email can be very impersonal and can easily be taken the wrong way. It is much easier for a person to write replies back to you full of remarks that they would never say in person.
Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and if you start to feel like self pride is rising to the surface… stop, leave the situation and pray. Unbalanced self pride is the apologists greatest enemy! It can cause you to say and do very unChrist-like behavior. I know this from experience. I have learned that when I start to be tempted to feel haughty or hurt or angry, that it is my pride talking, not the Holy Spirit. In our culture pride is highly valued, but in the spiritual battle it is the enemy. You will know when it starts to feel like you are defending* youself,* rather than doing a selfless act of defending the Church, the Word of God and The Body of Christ (hope that makes sense)