I totally understand where everyone is coming from, I waited a long time to marry also and now am divorcing barely 3 years after saying “I do”, I wasn’t super old…29, still I was older than many of my friends when they married. I wanted so much to be married and have a large family, I pray that I may be able to have that someday. My story was on this forum a year ago but was deleted after the hacking incident.
Just briefly, a year ago, four months after giving birth to my son I found out about my husband’s MULTIPLE affairs. Long story short, he wanted to work on the marriage, it took everything in me to forgive him and try to make it work. I felt like I had to for my son’s sake and for my sake, I was his wife and I had to forgive him and I had to give my marriage and my family a chance. I prayed alot…it was prayer, the help of Jesus, the Holy Spirit and the Blessed Mother that allowed me to do that. It’s funny…when I found out about the affairs I was relieved…I finally felt some peace even though my world had just been shattered, you know I didn’t even cry:confused: .
I did make it very clear that if the behavior continued it was over, I just couldn’t see myself running to the doctor for std testing every time I found out about another affair. He agreed, in the meantime I became pregnant again, not intentionally but it happened. I also found out at this time that he had got one of his girlfriends pregnant, well needless to say I told him to leave, he wasn’t even trying to work on the marriage he was just doing whatever he wanted. He wouldn’t come home for days and then when he did come home he acted as if nothing happened. Well I decided enough was enough and told him not to come home anymore and he didn’t have keys so he couldn’t come home. I filed for divorce, and when he got the papers he told me that “I obviously didn’t want to be married anymore or work on the marriage,” can you believe that, the nerve of that man.
The attorney suggested we put the divorce on hold until after the baby was born, we did. I found out that there was something wrong with my little Fatima at a 20 week check up, basically I was told she had a 65% of not surviving after birth, I was devastated and alone and with a 10 month old at home to think about. Of course they offered to “terminate” the pregnancy, I refused and put it in God’s hands, whatever His will may be I would accept although I was terribly sad. Well I had my little girl, she was full term and He allowed me to be with her for 40 hours before he called her back home. It was one of the saddest days of my life…for me, I know she’s in good company in the arms of Jesus and hanging out with her other Mommy which comforts me greatly. Her dad was not at the birth at my request and he was not at her funeral by his choice. I then find out that only a month before he had a son with his girlfriend. That really upset me, I don’t understand why that baby was allowed to be here but my little girl wasn’t, I don’t know if I’ll ever understand why that girl knowing she was having an affair with a married man was allowed to have her baby and I wasn’t. That will hurt me always, what do you call someone whose lost their parents…orphans, someone whose lost a spouse…widowed, someone whose lost a child…there’s not even a word for that, it’s undescribable, the pain and loss.
Now, the divorce should be final by the end of the year, I hope to move on with my life and I will be seeking an annullment, the only thing I want to tie me to that man is my son and nothing else! I am not angry or bitter, I am at peace and consoled everyday by the Holy Spirit. I made a choice early on that the only one who would suffer from my anger would be me and maybe my son, I’ve also seen what bitterness looks like in people who have dealt with much less than I have and I don’t want to live that way. I assure you though the only way I’ve been able to be where I’m at is through prayer and complete trust in what God’s plan is for me, all I ask for is the ability and strength to accept whatever it is He wants for me. This is much longer than I wanted it to be…sorry.