Separating because of invalid marriage


#1

I wonder if this is a common practice dealing with convalidation procedures. If the marriage never happened in the church’s eyes, then would separation and reconciliation solve the impediment on me, a baptized Catholic, from receiving the Eucharist this Sunday?


#2

Your question/statements are a little confusing and ambiguous.

Separating from the current spouse with whom you are in an irregular marriage? Yes.
Reconciling with the first spouse? Yes

But, many times it is not possible to reconcile with the first, nor desirable.

And, moreover, most times the couple in question wants to convalidate their current marriage not break up permanently.

If there are children involved, the Church does not ask the couple to separate during the time when they are waiting for a decree of nullity or other resolution to their situation so that they can convalidate the marriage. The remedy would be continence (i.e. “living as brother and sister”) but that could be done under the same roof for the sake of children involved.

However, all of the above is merely in the abstract.

This is really something that should **only **be undertaken under the guidance of **your **pastor. Go talk to your pastor and lay out all the facts of your **specific **situation, tell him of your desire to resume the sacraments, and he will guide you as to what is necessary.


#3

Found this quote by Fr. Vincent Serpa on a blog:

“You could have gone to confession and determined to live as brother and sister until you were validly married—and then received Holy Communion. Many do. Unfortunately, priests often fail to tell people this.”

If the priest would have offered me this at my initial contact in mid-December, I would not be suffering so. We have no prior marriages to deal with yet this is taking forever. The priest initially said this would take 5 minutes, well, its been months now. I ask questions here because the deacons are very vague in phone calls and emails and want to meet in person, but set up no ‘in person’ meeting. What are we to do? I can solve this now by going to reconciliation.


#4

People do not always get permission to receice even if living as brother and sister. Sometimes the priest thinks it would cause scandal, and i imagine there are other reasons.

It is sad but true that parish personnel are sometimes overwhelemed timewise and therefore hard to pin down. Talk to the priest or deacon after Mass and ask for an apointment! Leave messages, but call back! Mention that you have been trying since December to see them, and would like to get this all taken care if before Lent.

When you call, also ask when a good time to call back would be, if you get a person (call in the morning for most parishes), and be persistent! But nice :slight_smile:


#5

This should be very simple if you have no prior marriages. Not all parishes are equal in serving their flocks. Don’t be afraid to try another parish.

In the interim go to mass and be with Christ and his church. You can still gain do much. Maybe go to confession and get some guidance. Talk to your priest about the suffering you are going through.

That said…suffering does bring about Saints.

“Should Christians have to suffer?” findingthecatholicchurch.blogspot.com/2014/02/should-christians-have-to-suffer.html?m=1


#6

Sometimes the issue is getting documentation for baptisms, etc, especially if the other spouse isn’t Catholic. When my wife and I convalidated our marriage, I got my (Catholic) baptismal certificate in the mail 2 days after requesting it by phone.

My wife’s Anglican certificate took two months to get from the diocese.

Once we had all the paperwork, the rest went very quickly.


#7

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