seperation

I was seperated yesterday. my wife took the kids to her sister’s. she has not responded to my calls/ text. please pray for us.
i don’t know when i will see my kids. it hurts.

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. :bible1:

May God watch over both of you, as well as the children, in this time of separation.

May you find peace in your prayers and peace in the prayers of others for you.

Hopefully, when she has time to relax a bit she will be willing to respond to your calls and arrange for you to see the children. Prayer for your wife and children that she finds peace quickly and can return your calls. Be at peace knowing your wife and her sister are taking care of your children at the moment.

That is very painful and I’m sorry to hear of your heartache. But in time you will see them again, so hold on to that hope.

May God our Father give you grace and peace.

I’m so sorry this is happening.

Hi, is it a LEGAL separation or a TRIAL separation - your post didn’t elaborate. With a LEGAL separation you have a lawyer draw up terms that you and your spouse agree on and it gets filed in state court, at least that’s what my separation entailed. A TRIAL separation usually has terms drawn up too, but your lawyer keeps a copy. When the time comes and you find that all is well between you and your spouse the agreement can then be ripped up, however, if things don’t work out then the agreement gets filed with the court and it then becomes a LEGAL separation. After a year of being separated the parties can then file for DIVORCE. I know it hurts, but you have to look out for your interests - in particular SEEING YOUR CHILDREN!

Please get in touch with a lawyer, if you haven’t already and negotiate terms that are agreeable to you and your spouse; visitation rights have to be included!!! Other than that it could be considered desertion by your spouse if she just said ‘I’m leaving with the kids for a while’.

Remember, YOU HAVE RIGHTS TOO don’t surrender them!!!

Mike

thank you all for your prayers. its a separation to divorce. no paperwork. she said last week we are separating to divorce. we had an argument friday then she left with the kids without telling me.

i need to file emergency orders for custody since she is not replying to my calls/texts. we will have to have a hearing. i am only going to court to see the children. if she wants a legal separation or divorce she will need to start that up.

Im in ca. does anyone know the weekly rotation for visits and or holidays etc?

please help,

also, i feel weak spiritually and am trying to stay focused only my wife and children.

e

I’m not sure I am following your situation. If she and the children are at her sister’s because you had an argument and at the moment feels she wants to get a divorce, why do you need to file emergency orders for custody?

How do you know that is where she is if she left without telling you?

You don’t have a legal separation or a divorce, why do you need this emergency orders for custody?

How does obtaining these orders keep your focus on your wife and children with the hopes of not getting a divorce or legal separation?

When i was taking a shower she just left with the kids. her parents were with her as well.

i went to the sister’s house because they are about 8 blocks away. i finally spoke to her and she did not want to come back and she said she would call me in a couple of hours to figure out what to do with the children.

i’ve asked her via text and phone to let me see them. she just texted me today about skyping with them. i asked to have the children stay at home tonite (my father is coming to visit) and she texted that we could chat via skype.

i am asking for orders because she is keeping me away from the kids.
the focus i feel is the children. they need to see both parents. she is not talking to me so i we cannot figure something out.

very very sad situation.

I think it is actually a good situation that your wife and children are not very far away. Its also good that she has now spoken with you.

It sounds positive that at the moment you will be able to skype with the children. Since Friday, she has left with the children to her sister’s, taken time to “settle” herself, responded to you, and now ready to set up a skype chat. That sounds like a lot of positive movement.

Deciding to get a court order to be with your children could sound like a good thing in many situations…but… As your situation is moving, it sounds as if it is a drastic step that could possibly cause your wife to become more strong in her desire to legally separate and divorce. (That is only my opinion - based only on my thoughts about what you have shared.)

I say that because she seems to be responding positively to you at this point. She even has a plan for you to chat with the children. If all of this has transpired since Friday, how much more positive changes may take place as you and she work together?

By bringing in a court order - seems to me - she might not want to work with you any more - it might change her positive movements that she has made to very strong opposition to you - while at the same time meeting the court order to allow you visitation.

Give her time to adjust to whatever caused her to need to go to her sister’s and to not being at home with you. Pray. She most likely will begin talking with you again.

It is true that children need both parents. In the case of a divorce or separation, I’m sure you and she will see to it that the children see both of you. For the short time you have been apart - since Friday - it is okay for the children to not see dad for a few days.

Maybe speaking with your parish priest will be beneficial. He can lead you towards how to reconcile your marriage. I don’t think asking for a court order to see your children after 48 hours of them being 8 blocks away with your wife - would look like you are reaching for a goal of reconciliation.

Invite you and your dear wife to Retrouvialle. Contact someone at Retrouvaille to speak with them.

retrouvaille.org/

May St. Raphael pray for you and your wife.

Responding positively? By taking away the kids and not letting their father see them? It would be great if she repented of this step, but it seems like she’s armed for bear. I think the OP should contact a lawyer pronto to make sure that his parental rights are respected.

please pray for our family.

i feel she has postpartum depression and with our ups and downs it just all came together.

we prayed one night the chaplet and i lit a candle and had some oil for anointing. i put it on her for a blessing and we heard the chaplet of divine.
she seemed to be different from other times of prayer. not sure if something evil was in her. not sure if others know what i mean.

my father is visiting from texas to care for me. i am really weak now. he might not see the grandkids but he understands and is here from me.

its heart breaking when i left my family (living with my mother in texas) to marry in california and start a new family only to have it all disappear.

i understand its hard now and it will get better. And I will see my kids sometime this week. I would just like to know when.

e

Keep praying for peace and for patience. Maybe you will be able to reconcile with your wife after she has time to be away. Being with the children later this week will be wonderful. Hopefully, your dad will get to spend time with the children as well.

You may want to read about postpartum depression to help you in how to respond to your wife. Maybe she will be open to discussing this with her doctor.

When thinking about that you “left your family” to get married - that is what couples are called to do. Couples can not form a “new family” if they still “cleave” to their parents.

At this point, while it may feel, your marriage with your wife is over - you may reconcile and have a very long marriage. You do not loose your family - when divorce or separated - you may not have a spouse - but you and your children always make a family.

Please speak with your priest. He will be able to guide you in your troubles. You can also ask him about finding a Catholic therapist who can help you in your grief and help you to possibly reconcile with your wife.

All the OP has told us is that she and the kids went to her sister’s, 8 blocks away, on Friday, and she will be letting him skype with the children and see them later this week.

It doesn’t point towards being “armed for bear.”

May the Holy Family protect and guide this family in their troubles. May peace fill their hearts.

To the OP…you continue on with the legal process. The people on here will keep praying for you all! When the dust settles a judge may even tell your wife to go back home and seek help for her depression, and/or tell you both to enter a marriage counseling program.

Good luck and God bless!

Mike

Unfortuntwly she did not say I would see them later in the week.

**Get a good family practice lawyer today. **

Find one that practices in your local court. Do not go this alone (pro se). You need to know the pitfalls and problems dealing with the courts and social services that you have absolutely no experience in now. Do this to protect your children and yourself. If she is suffering from depression she may be a threat to her own and the children’s welfare.

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