Sorry, this is really long…
I am Catholic. My husband is a non-denominational fundamental Christian. He was baptized Lutheran. He listens to Baptist programs on tv and the radio and he attends non-denominational services on Sundays.
We were originally married civilly, and at the time, he told me we could have our marriage blessed in the Church. I told him this was essentail to me. He said that it was important to him too that we be married in the eyes of God and the Church and that he considered Catholics “Christian” so he would be ok with it. We were supposed to do this in August and had already met with my priest. (I will continue now to meet with him on my own to get some counseling on all this as well).
He told me last night that “it was no reflection on my faith” but his “convictions” did not allow for him to stand up in a Catholic Church in front of a Catholic priest. I stopped him and said that I would appreciate him not saying it was not a reflection on my faith, because it is a direct reflection on his beliefs of what Catholics are and are not (which is not based on any truth whatsoever, only on what he has been told). But that is a different issue.
Orignially, our different faiths were not a huge obstacle because I saw that at least we would be in a valid marriage. We had also decided not to have children and so we could both practice our faiths separately, which is not ideal, but it was what it was.
Complicating matters is the fact that I am now pregnant (3 months). This has led to serious issues already because he has adamantly said he will not allow the children to be raised Catholic (though he doesn’t even know what it means, only what he has been told it means by his pastors). His newest revelation to me that he refuses to be married in the church has taken on even more signifance now.
I know that I am not allowed to receive communion as I am in an invalid marriage and a state of mortal sin. My first question is can I remedy this when my husband absolutely refuses to make our marriage valid? Is there some kind of dispensation I can apply for?
Also, I am sincerly struggling with the fact that my child will not be raised Catholic. He will not allow the baby to be baptized. I am now full of sorrow and guilt that I am going to be responsible for my child not being raised in the faith because when I married my husband I didn’t consider our religious differences to be a large issue.
And don’t get me wrong, my husband is a very good man and I love him. I don’t know that I consider divorce and then confirmation of the invalidity of our union an option. Especially now that I am pregnant. He means well and feels he has a strong faith. I will give him that and only comment that it is strong in what it is, but very incomplete and somewhat illogical. Like most fundamental Christians, his knowledge of scripture is immense, but there seems a valid disconnect between what he professes and what he sometimes says and does in real life.
I know there are no real answers to my problem. I know it will take prayer and faith and humilty to try and work through it and I am grateful I have my family and my parish priest, who is awesome. But I just wanted to see what other people thought about all this. As I said, I am very distraught at the moment, as it all seems so hopeless and I take the responsibility of my child SO GREATLY.
I will be attending a St. Monica’s group at Church that my mother helped found. So that is at least something. Thanks everyone for letting me talk. Again, sorry for the length.