Ok, iam going to ask both genders a question, and i do not want to be laughed at or ridiculed because this is not a laughing matter, it caused an argument, and my husband asked me to post this, please note, he does not see anything wrong with it.
my husband wrote to a single former female colleague that was a friend of his that he knew in Germany. He did not tell me about it, he considers keeping this information from me perfectly alright,
how did i find out about it? she wrote him a letter today and i can understand some of it. i was really surprised to see a letter from a woman i don’t even know. i spoke to my husband during his lunch break and read the letter to him in German, and he translated it.
i was mad that he did not tell me about writing her, and was even madder that he says it is alright for him to have single female friends that he used to know. i told him it is not okay, and that what would father tell him if i told father about it? i told him likely father would tell Frank that it is not okay to not tell me about it.
i wrote the woman a polite letter and told her i did not know her, and that Frank is married, and she never bothered writing back.Frank tells me she linked his website to hers so he could keep in touch with all the friends he knew in Germany, including single ones.
Iam not comfortable with him having single female friends, not because i feel threatened, but to me it seems improper for a married man to write to a single woman. this single woman tells Frank in the email that she had been to our city… it all sounds suspicious to me… why would Frank not tell me about this woman? why would he go behind my back and converse with her and then try to make light of it?
i don’t believe he would have an affair, as that does not sound like him, but why defend his actions as okay? why would he put me through that? after 9 years together, he writes a woman and never tells me about it until i read the letter? yes, iam angry, and feel like he was lying to me, if not that, then feel like he was deliberately dishonest.
would you as a man or a woman put up with this from your spouse? what would you do if your wife or husband had done that to you?