Serious reason to postpone pregnancy?


#1

I am just curious as to others opinions on this. There is a great deal of information out there on forming one’s conscience as to what a serious reason would be for avoiding a pregnancy (sickness, finances, etc.) There’s also a great deal of Catholic info out there on the importance of the mother staying home with the children and the parents being that child’s primary caregivers. However, I’ve never seen being able to stay home with one’s children listed as a reason to take under consideration for postponing a pregnancy. For example, if it was not possible at this point for a wife to quit her job or at least scale back hours enough to be at home with a baby the majority of the time, could that then be a serious reason for avoiding pregnancy? Of course I realize everyone’s situation is different but I would be interested to hear what others think.


#2

do yourself a favor… you want to avoid pregnancy… don’t get married…

when your ready to start a family,… get married…

less stress, i promise you :thumbsup:

if your already married? then forget the above advice, and run like the dickens from your spouse until your ready…

i don’t guess i will ever understand this get married and don’t have children stuff… just old i guess… :eek:


#3

I think it could be a reason. At least, until you can work out what needs to be done.

If you don’t have the time or money for a child, I think you can use NFP until you get that time, or the money.

God never gives us more then we can handle.


#4

Many couples can scale back their expenses if they really want to. Used cars instead of new, smaller house, shopping at Wal-mart instead of the mall for clothes. I work part time, and work opposite hours of my husband. We live in a mobile home (in a nice area), with 2 older cars. I bargain shop, and will shop thrift stores as well.

If the financial situation is truly dire than I believe there is a legitimate reason to postpone. But many want the new cars, vacations, designer clothes, to dine out frequently ect.


#5

[quote=goravens]I am just curious as to others opinions on this. There is a great deal of information out there on forming one’s conscience as to what a serious reason would be for avoiding a pregnancy (sickness, finances, etc.) There’s also a great deal of Catholic info out there on the importance of the mother staying home with the children and the parents being that child’s primary caregivers. However, I’ve never seen being able to stay home with one’s children listed as a reason to take under consideration for postponing a pregnancy. For example, if it was not possible at this point for a wife to quit her job or at least scale back hours enough to be at home with a baby the majority of the time, could that then be a serious reason for avoiding pregnancy? Of course I realize everyone’s situation is different but I would be interested to hear what others think.
[/quote]

The church does not list specific items that qualify as “serious” reasons because my serious reason is not your serious reason. The scenario you present could be serious for one person and not for another person. Therefore, the answer to this is “it depends”. It depends on the wholistic situation of the couple in question. One must follow one’s well-formed conscience. To get to the “well formed” part is the trick!


#6

I think if postponing a child for a time will enable mom to stay home and care for the children later, it’s fine to wait. We can fool ourselves but we can’t fool God. He knows if your reasons are good!
—KCT


#7

I could see if you had a serious financial obligation to meet and you needed to work for a time to meet that need labelling that as a serious enough reason to postpone pregnancy. But I think you need to be questioning yourself very frequently about how real that need is. Could your needs be met in some other way? Is the area where you choose to live too expensive? Could you make do with one car or no car? Can you eat out less or not at all? Could your husband find a better-paying job, freeing you to stay at home at least part time? Is your marriage focussed on becoming a family and not just a mutual support system for two career-minded individuals?

I have two acquaintances, both serious doctors just beginning residency (he’s literally a brain surgeon) who married recently and discovered they were expecting a honeymoon baby. While they grudgingly accepted that God had different plans for the wife than they had expected, they were quite resentful for months that God would give them this child now rather than later when it was more convenient for them. (They are not Catholic and were contracepting as well, adding to their indignation.) They thought that by the wife becoming a doctor for the greater good of the world was more important than starting their own family. Well, generally, if you want to be that career-focussed you should postpone marriage.


#8

I think not wanting to have a child or have another child is a perfectly justifiable reason to postpone said child.


#9

I think that the point is that we are suppossed to trust God in all things. If God doesn’t want you to have a child, you won’t. God tells us not to worry, and children have always been seen as a gift from God. So, is our worries or reasons not to be open to life a lack of trust in God? I really believe that is exactly what it is. Why is it in our advanced society, especially among Christians do we question Gods will? What does Jesus say about faith and trust in Him? I am not a theologian, but I can see that the more we depend on our own will, the more chaotic the world has become. Has the birth control, sterilizations,and abortions helped our world?NO! Look around"by their fruits you will know them".God Bless


#10

[quote=Lisa4Catholics]I think that the point is that we are suppossed to trust God in all things. If God doesn’t want you to have a child, you won’t. God tells us not to worry, and children have always been seen as a gift from God. So, is our worries or reasons not to be open to life a lack of trust in God? I really believe that is exactly what it is. Why is it in our advanced society, especially among Christians do we question Gods will? What does Jesus say about faith and trust in Him? I am not a theologian, but I can see that the more we depend on our own will, the more chaotic the world has become. Has the birth control, sterilizations,and abortions helped our world?NO! Look around"by their fruits you will know them".God Bless
[/quote]

However, it is important to keep in mind that God sometimes lets us be active in choosing the direction of our lives. I cannot be justified in throwing myself off of a building saying, “well, I’m not going to die unless God wants me to.” Truth is, you won’t die unless God allows it, but that doesn’t mean that’s what God wanted.

We are supposed to trust God in all things, but he has also given us the faculties to seek what is best in any given situation.


#11

You cannot compare jumping off a buliding and having a baby.

The church has taught us that having children is a gift from God and has gone so far as to prohibit any contraception other than NFP. Not to mention God commanded us in the bible to be fruitful and multiply…it also goes on to say that happy is a man whose quiver is full.

The church has never taught us that jumping off a building was a good thing. The bible never called this action good either. In fact Jesus was tempted in this way by Satan.

The two are not the same.


#12

[quote=Ladybug]You cannot compare jumping off a buliding and having a baby.

The church has taught us that having children is a gift from God and has gone so far as to prohibit any contraception other than NFP. Not to mention God commanded us in the bible to be fruitful and multiply…it also goes on to say that happy is a man whose quiver is full.

.
[/quote]

I think the point that you are missing is that living a life of “God will take care of me so I don’t have to think for myself” can be very dangerous.

No, jumping off a building and having children aren’t the same at all…but it was to try and make a point.

If a married couple is struggling with 8 kids or none at all… is it wise for them to have a/another child with the attitude of “God will provide”?

It is important to discern between Faith and ignorance.

If a family wants to follow God’s will and have a family then they will cooperate with God on this. Cooperation means that they have to be actively involved… not just tag along for the ride.

Malia


#13

[quote=Sweetcakes]I think not wanting to have a child or have another child is a perfectly justifiable reason to postpone said child.
[/quote]

I think the couple is supposed to explore together before God “why” they do not want another child.

God bless!


#14

[quote=Feanaro’s Wife]I think the point that you are missing is that living a life of “God will take care of me so I don’t have to think for myself” can be very dangerous.

No, jumping off a building and having children aren’t the same at all…but it was to try and make a point.

If a married couple is struggling with 8 kids or none at all… is it wise for them to have a/another child with the attitude of “God will provide”?

It is important to discern between Faith and ignorance.

If a family wants to follow God’s will and have a family then they will cooperate with God on this. Cooperation means that they have to be actively involved… not just tag along for the ride.

Malia

[/quote]

I also believe that God desires us to be actively involved. For instance in parenting our children, we teach them and in the beginning we are mostly telling them what to do. But we teach them the how’s and the why’s and encourage them in time to make their own decisions (hopefully) based on what we taught them.

We make decisions everyday in light of God’s teachings. For instance, “should I do this or shouldn’t I”. Why should it be any different with spacing children as long as you are open to life, and have a well formed conscience?

I think in some instances … to have child after child with no thought on the matter can be irresponsible, whereas in other instances to have child after child with thought (and prayer) can be a beautiful expression of trust.

Through prayer it seemed I was “called” to homeschool. I believe this with all my heart. I have the peace of knowing and trusting this is God’s will for us this year. But is it next year? I don’t know. I didn’t even know I would be homeschooling this year.

Just my thoughts, based on my own struggles in this area … so far.:o


#15

Their will always be a reason of some kind, So the question is How to avoid pregnancy with out choosing to sin against the church.
People will tell you NFP and thats great butYou can also use a fertility moniter and it tells you if your ovulating or not.
Abstain on the days that you are which boils down to 2 or 3 days a month.
I hope that i helped in some way.

imfourkids@yahoo.com


#16

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