Hello all, I am new here…
I have come here to ask for some intercessory prayers from you guys, as I know very few Catholics personally. I am suffering from a terrible addiction to various sexual sins. I have suffered from it since I was rather young, in fact, I simply cannot remember a time where I did not have a compulsive drive in this area (to the point where I think something medically is wrong with me). I have tried many times, and failed, to kick the habits, but it’s come to the point where I seem to have little to no control anymore. I can get no one to take me seriously on this as no one seems to really recognize it as a serious problem, and I have no reliable support in my battle. Close friends have grown tired of hearing about it and can’t do anything anyway about it. I am only 20 years old, but the daily battle with this problem has worn me down considerably…I feel like I have lived for an incredibly long time as everyday is another set of failures against this. You’d be surprised what being in near constant mortal sin will do to you.
Obviously my spiritual life has been completely crippled all these years, and now it’s getting to the point where I am fearing for my physical life. As time wears on, I grow more concerned as the “highs” that come from this addiction require greater and greater stimuli. I don’t know what’s going to become of me. I dream of being a saintly priest or husband one day, but…the degree I am afflicted by this makes me wonder if I shouldn’t forgo both as I really do not feel fit for either anymore. I wonder sometimes if it’s already too late. Am I doomed to be an addict till I meet my Judge?
I don’t know how many will read this, but please pray for me if you do. Even a hail mary. I am on the edge of despair, and don’t want to go back over that edge. I pray, but I don’t think the Lord hears me much anymore, not after all I have done. I don’t know how longer I can continue on this endless cycle. I’m useless to God and the Church like this, and considering they are the center of my life, it’s surely a hellish thing to have this crushing you.