Sex before marriage


#1

I need help here, i promised God i wouldn't have sex before marriage but i failed, i know i need to confess my sin but i don't know how, i don't know what should i say or how should i say it, i don't want to sound vulgar, i don't know what words to use, should i just say straight "i had sex before marriage" or "i failed God on a promise" i really want to confess my sin but i don't know how. You should know i'm really shy when it comes to coming out about my problems.

I hope i get an answer really soon because i want to confess as soon as possible.


#2

[quote="MissCorleone, post:1, topic:326312"]
I need help here, i promised God i wouldn't have sex before marriage but i failed, i know i need to confess my sin but i don't know how, i don't know what should i say or how should i say it, i don't want to sound vulgar, i don't know what words to use, should i just say straight "i had sex before marriage" or "i failed God on a promise" i really want to confess my sin but i don't know how. You should know i'm really shy when it comes to coming out about my problems.

I hope i get an answer really soon because i want to confess as soon as possible.

[/quote]

It might be easier for you to just state type of sin and number of times: "I convict my soul of the following sins, Fornication one time", etc....


#3

No need for details, etc.


#4

Right, just say you had sex with someone you're not married to, or words to that effect. No gory details needed.


#5

If you made a private vow to God not to have sex before marriage, and you did then you need to add that. For example “I broke a private vow not to have sex before marriage by fornicating once…”


#6

The others are correct. There’s no need to go into every detail. Just say what you posted here.

The priest is there to help you. If you ever do not know what to say, he can guide you.


#7

Yes, permit, in Faith, the strict dichotomy.

1) NO: not "everyone is doing it"; and
2) YES: The Priest will have heard it all before.

AND:

The Priest knows that GOD already knows what is in your heart. The Priest is there to reconcile you to your GOD.


#8

[quote="MissCorleone, post:1, topic:326312"]
I need help here, i promised God i wouldn't have sex before marriage but i failed, i know i need to confess my sin but i don't know how, i don't know what should i say or how should i say it, i don't want to sound vulgar, i don't know what words to use, should i just say straight "i had sex before marriage" or "i failed God on a promise" i really want to confess my sin but i don't know how. You should know i'm really shy when it comes to coming out about my problems.

I hope i get an answer really soon because i want to confess as soon as possible.

[/quote]

Mortal sins must be confessed in number and kind. You should say, "I committed the sin of fornication X times." If the man is married, you should mention that as well. And that's it.


#9

you could even say "I had relations with my boyfriend x times" if fornication is a little harsh for you to say to the priest. They'll know what you mean anyway. I'm sure that priests hear about premarital relations quite often. It's hard to not feel embarrassed, but you should be more embarrassed that you offended God than having to tell a priest.

If you're afraid of the priest knowing who you are and that they would think that you're a bad person for what you did, then go to another parish somewhere nearby where the priests won't know you. It may help you relax a bit.


#10

[quote="MissCorleone, post:1, topic:326312"]
I need help here, i promised God i wouldn't have sex before marriage but i failed, i know i need to confess my sin but i don't know how, i don't know what should i say or how should i say it, i don't want to sound vulgar, i don't know what words to use, should i just say straight "i had sex before marriage" or "i failed God on a promise" i really want to confess my sin but i don't know how. You should know i'm really shy when it comes to coming out about my problems.

I hope i get an answer really soon because i want to confess as soon as possible.

[/quote]

Be specific: "I had sex and I am not married."


#11

[quote="MissCorleone, post:1, topic:326312"]
I need help here, i promised God i wouldn't have sex before marriage but i failed, i know i need to confess my sin but i don't know how, i don't know what should i say or how should i say it, i don't want to sound vulgar, i don't know what words to use, should i just say straight "i had sex before marriage" or "i failed God on a promise" i really want to confess my sin but i don't know how. You should know i'm really shy when it comes to coming out about my problems.

I hope i get an answer really soon because i want to confess as soon as possible.

[/quote]

Your sorrow is the important thing; don't worry about the 'vulgarity'; the sin we wish to confess is far worse than words we use to tell it to the one who gives absolution. We worry more than we should about what words we use; always recall that God is the one Who is bringing you there, that He's with you on the way to the church, in the line waiting for confession; asking the Holy Spirit for words. The priest will also be able to help.

#12

[quote="StJudeprayforme, post:5, topic:326312"]
If you made a private vow to God not to have sex before marriage, and you did then you need to add that. For example "I broke a private vow not to have sex before marriage by fornicating once..."

[/quote]

Not sure what effect a vow not to violate the Commandments has; abstaining from sex until marriage is a universal moral imperative.


#13

[quote="MissCorleone, post:1, topic:326312"]
I need help here, i promised God i wouldn't have sex before marriage but i failed, i know i need to confess my sin but i don't know how, i don't know what should i say or how should i say it, i don't want to sound vulgar, i don't know what words to use, should i just say straight "i had sex before marriage" or "i failed God on a promise" i really want to confess my sin but i don't know how. You should know i'm really shy when it comes to coming out about my problems.

I hope i get an answer really soon because i want to confess as soon as possible.

[/quote]

Just say it as it is. Just say you had sex before marriage. Don't be shy with the Priest. I have that problem as well, but I try to make myself say what I need to say. Just say it as it is and you will be fine, I will pray for you.


#14

[quote="aemcpa, post:12, topic:326312"]
Not sure what effect a vow not to violate the Commandments has; abstaining from sex until marriage is a universal moral imperative.

[/quote]

A private vow to not commit a sin is a valid vow. If one has broken it when it involves grave matter, it too must be acknowledged in the confessional.

See:newadvent.org/cathen/15511a.htm


#15

[quote="aemcpa, post:8, topic:326312"]
Mortal sins must be confessed in number and kind. You should say, "I committed the sin of fornication X times." If the man is married, you should mention that as well. And that's it.

[/quote]

Really? I had never heard this before. Do others agree with the statement that the number must be confessed?


#16

Serious=mortal. Venial sins do not have to be confessed in number, though they can be.


#17

[quote="StJudeprayforme, post:16, topic:326312"]
Serious=mortal. Venial sins do not have to be confessed in number, though they can be.

[/quote]

Learn something new everyday:thumbsup:


#18

Thank you all so much for your answers it has really helped me a lot and i feel so much better with what i'm going to say now, you're great! God bless you all!


#19

[quote="MissCorleone, post:18, topic:326312"]
Thank you all so much for your answers it has really helped me a lot and i feel so much better with what i'm going to say now, you're great! God bless you all!

[/quote]

Happy to help! :tiphat: We'll say a prayer for you as you go to receive the great graces of the sacrament!


#20

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