Sex should NOT be just for pleasure. Kids must be the 1st thought.


#1

If you have sex for pleasure, it’s so immoral and very wrong! People say, “it’s because we love each other” that’s just wrong! Post your opinions!


#2

I dunno, Pete–I think I’ll go with the sinners’ POV on this one.


#3

Catholics teach that it is okay to have sex for a unitive purpose (“because we love each other” which also includes for pleasure) so long as it is within the marital bond and is open to life. So your viewpoint is almost completely anti-Catholic, so I’m not sure what responses you were hoping for.


#4

That’s not what the Church teaches.


#5

I just want to clear something up really briefly here…

Is it your position that, even within the bounds of marriage, it is wrong for people to enjoy having sex…unless?

My position (pun intended, I admit it) is that sex is good, and the sexual bond/shared pleasure between a married couple is extremely important to their relationship and to the marriage. And then kids are also good, but sometimes it’s better to make them at one time than another (whereas sex is pretty important at all times) so there’s often some aspect of mix-and-match with these two different things that are both quite good.

But you appear to be stating that the extraordinary pleasure shared between a husband and wife is actually immoral and wrong…unless. Is that what you intended to say?


#6

[quote="Petergray, post:1, topic:235113"]
If you have sex for pleasure, it's so immoral and very wrong! People say, "it's because we love each other" that's just wrong! Post your opinions!

[/quote]

Married people are allowed to have sex for pleasure (unitive purposes) as long as it's open to life.

Comments like this make people hate the Catholic Church because they think it's anti-sex.

There is a big difference between "love" and "lust" and most people don't see it anymore. Premarital sex is lust, which is not healthy because it teaches people not to learn self-control, and there are greater chances of divorce (60% higher compared to those who wait until marriage to have sex) and adultery (four times more likely to cheat compared to couples who waited for marriage) if they ever do get married. Often times they don't marry which is emotionally damaging on both sides. They get more afraid of commitment, more narcissistic, and it's like they've already been through several divorces by the time they finally do get married.


#7

[quote="stephe1987, post:6, topic:235113"]
Comments like this make people hate the Catholic Church because they think it's anti-sex.

[/quote]

Right, it's not the Catholic Church, it's just some Catholic people. But still, that's a phenomenon that you don't really see in other areas of Christianity. It is a bit of a curiosity.


#8

Wow…You and Queen Victoria must be on the same wavelength.

However your version goes…“Stare at the ceiling and think of the Chruch”

Seriously what century are you from? You need to read up on the church’s views on sex.


#9

[quote="Alix1912, post:8, topic:235113"]
Wow.....You and Queen Victoria must be on the same wavelength.

However your version goes......."Stare at the ceiling and think of the Chruch"

Seriously what century are you from? You need to read up on the church's views on sex.

[/quote]

This kind of response is just rude and trollish. Sex is strictly for the marriage between man and woman for bringing the children on, preach for the mass and lead the generations to come.

Remember that you are in a catholic forum now and stop being anti-catholic in your behaviour.


#10

[quote="Petergray, post:1, topic:235113"]
If you have sex for pleasure, it's so immoral and very wrong! People say, "it's because we love each other" that's just wrong! Post your opinions!

[/quote]

God sure is tricky. Making sex all pleasurable, building in 3 week periods of infertility to every woman, and then only allowing the sinners to have it for recreation. Kind of like how he put the dinosaur bones there to trick us or moved the light from stars millions of light years so that we could see it on a 6000 year old earth!


#11

I'm not being Anti Catholic. I'm married to a Catholic and we use NFP. However even the Catholic Church allows for married men and women to enjoy sex for it's unitive properties as long as you are open to life. It doesn't require that sex only be used for procreation. If you actually know the reference I made it was commonly held in Victorian England that sex was not to be enjoyed (especially by women) and was only to be done to breed more British Citizens. That is how the OP sounds. No enjoyment of sex just breed more Catholics. This is completely against the teachings of your own Church. The OP needs to read up on those teachings.


#12

Actually not correct. England was Protestant then and Catholics had only just been allowed to practise their religion legally. It wasn’t that sex was not meant to be enjoyed it was just considered a dirty necessary thing that nobody talked about openly. Doctors in this time period would question women about their sexual health and ask them if they enjoyed it, so no there was not this opinion that women “shouldn’t”/“didn’t”.


#13

hey

It is true that sex should not be just for pleasure, However to a certain extent it is and should be when practiced correctly. I really recommend reading Pope John Pauls II "Theology of the body"

John Paul II portrays a beautiful vision of sexuality in his Theology of the Body and other earlier works including Love and Responsibility. He encourages a true reverence for the gift of our sexuality and challenges us to live it in a way worthy.

When we discuss about sex, we should go all the way back to paradise and Adam and Eve and how God originally intended marriage between one man and one woman. So in some sense marriage and the unity that comes from that, is something left to us from paradise. So in the same sense sex, within marriage is also something that is possibly left to us from paradise. It is in a sense crowns the relationship of these two personas, bringing that relationship closer, ie. two becoming one, on a psycological, spiritual and carnal way. During sex man and wife get to build together a binding relationship, being able to offer each other as a continious gift to each other, like renewing each others marriage voews.

Ksawery Knotz likes to compare marriage and sexual intercorse to a game of soccer. :thumbsup: You can view the game, as it having all sorts of different rules and regulations, have to stay on the pitch, not touch the ball with your hands, have to get the ball into the goal, there is only a certain ammount of players allowed to be on the pitch. You could easily gett he idea that it is the most boring game in the world!

However everyone who knows a little about the game that the truth is different! that you dont go play the game because of the rules but because of the game itself, theres plenty of space on the pitch that allows the players to be creative, play different plays and score beautiful goals.

Hence there are certain rules regarding sex as well, not to prevent and destroy the experience for us but rather to give as a fufilling and a greater experience. that has a great importance in the relationship between man and wife as and the well being of their marriage. (who knows if an orgasm would be a mere glimpse of how we will feel in heaven :P) In some ways it can be seen as worship of our God, after all he created sex as well ;) But dont get me wrong orgasm during sex is not the main focus of it, or sex alone is not enough to upkeep a marriage. Man and wife have to be there for their significant other in every way possible, emotional etc.

Just a few thoughts.

God bless


#14

[quote="PatrickSebast, post:10, topic:235113"]
God sure is tricky. Making sex all pleasurable, building in 3 week periods of infertility to every woman, and then only allowing the sinners to have it for recreation. Kind of like how he put the dinosaur bones there to trick us or moved the light from stars millions of light years so that we could see it on a 6000 year old earth!

[/quote]

I think He had to be tricky and make it pleasurable -- else we would not have "filled the earth" as He commanded. :)

Consider the drop in the reproduction rate of "Christian" nations since contraception (and sometimes abortion) have become acceptable in the culture - making sex without reproduction easy. We have become very selfish.


#15

[quote="Petergray, post:1, topic:235113"]
If you have sex for pleasure, it's so immoral and very wrong! People say, "it's because we love each other" that's just wrong! Post your opinions!

[/quote]

I agree that when the primary or only reason for having sex is because one wants to experience the physical pleasure it gives, then it is immoral. The reason is that it is selfish and uses the other person in order to satisfy one's desires. It is lust. Married couples can commit the sin of lust.

Like murtsi (post #11), I also recommend the book "Love and Responsibility" by Karol Wojtyla (John Paul II) and "Theology of the Body".


#16

[quote="Petergray, post:1, topic:235113"]
If you have sex for pleasure, it's so immoral and very wrong! People say, "it's because we love each other" that's just wrong! Post your opinions!

[/quote]

my personal opinions and yours have absolutely no value. This is not Church teaching so why not find that teaching, cite it, and discuss it.


#17

[quote="Petergray, post:1, topic:235113"]
If you have sex for pleasure, it's so immoral and very wrong! People say, "it's because we love each other" that's just wrong! Post your opinions!

[/quote]

Could you perhaps clarify a little on what you mean by having "sex for pleasure". Do you mean when that is the main reason? or only reason?

Or, are you saying that when married couples make love for the right reasons (unitive & open to life) but also know and look forward to the physical pleasure that will result, that the anticipation of the physical pleasure is sinful?


#18

[quote="cooterhein, post:5, topic:235113"]
I just want to clear something up really briefly here....

Is it your position that, even within the bounds of marriage, it is wrong for people to enjoy having sex....unless?

[/quote]

Very good question and I am a strong Roman Catholic and I have to say that, that is looking at my argument as an extremist would. I follow Catholicism and I believe what the Church believes, so no, they can enjoy it IF THEY LOVE EACH OTHER and only if they love each other, that is my main point.

[quote="cooterhein, post:5, topic:235113"]
But you appear to be stating that the extraordinary pleasure shared between a husband and wife is actually immoral and wrong....unless. Is that what you intended to say?

[/quote]

I don't. I mean to say that what is wrong is people having sex because they find someone attractive and ONLY that reason or other reasons eg they get drunk, they get "sexually stressed" Or they masturbate which brings me on to a whole new level because that is in my view totally wrong and no I DO NOT DO THIS.


#19

[quote="Petergray, post:1, topic:235113"]
If you have sex for pleasure, it's so immoral and very wrong! People say, "it's because we love each other" that's just wrong! Post your opinions!

[/quote]

If you go by your point of view, then after a woman hits menopause and she knows she can no longer have children, she should then abstain from relations with her husband for the rest of their lives.


#20

My spouse and I have been married 29 years and have subscribed to Augustine's teaching that sex for any purpose than procreation is utterly sinful, sapping man and woman of energy that should be reserved for worship of our Creator. Thus, when we were of age to conceive our children, we both committed to prayer before, during, and after our unions. We had union only at times when conception was likely; those unions were brief and, when either of us began to feel pleasure, we simply turned our thoughts to other things, such as a recent holiday or tasks we needed to tend to the next day. Some nights, I struggled to distract myself during our union and maintain purity of thought -- certainly the reminder of an eternity inf Hell motivated me to think of other things. Now that we have left our childbearing years behind, the marital union is no longer a part of our marriage, replaced by fervent prayer and companionship.


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