Sex with fiancee

Can i have sex with my fiancee?

After you’re married, of course you can! :smiley:


Church teaching is, of course, to wait until your wedding night.

We all sin. Some of us more than others, but we all sin. And I would suggest that the vast majority off married Catholics “sinned” in that manner before they were married.

My MIL is an intensely devout Catholic woman, and matriarch of a huge and incredibly loving family. I don’t know a woman who is more loving, giving, and CATHOLIC than she is.

But, funny thing…my wife (the oldest of 10 kids) was born (at full term) about 8 months after my FIL and MIL were married. Twice I have had the opportunity to watch the hilarious expressions on my younger brother/sister in laws faces when they had to do the math on that one…

If you DO step over that ledge, don’t worry, God still loves you and will forgive you.

However, I suggest that you try your best to save it for the wedding night. It WILL make that night, and your marriage, even more special.

Good luck!

At the risk of sounding like your 7th grade English teacher:

“Can” you have sex with your fiancée? Well, if you are physically ‘able’ of course you ‘can’.

Now, “may” you have sex with your fiancée? If you are a Catholic as you seem to indicate, no you ‘may’ not, until the wedding night.

Why on earth, since you plan to be married, would you want to risk mortal sin not just for you, but for your fiancée? (and please don’t tell me it isn’t mortal sin. You have asked the question, and received the answers. Therefore you KNOW it is grave matter as you have been told so. You have full knowledge because again, you have been told that it is grave matter. It is against the commandments. It is against Christ itself. What ‘further’ knowledge do you need than that? Finally, since you are asking, you are obviously weighing a choice, yes or no. Therefore you have full control, as you can choose either one and are not ‘forced’ into having to have sex.)

Sometimes bluntness in our PC world may seem harsh, but rejection of God is a lot harsher.

I wish you great joy in your marriage and hope that you take these words to heart so that you and your wife may start your marriage in a state of grace and receive blessings from God throughout.

I wouldn’t make any promises on that front.

No. You know that right?

:thumbsup: Now you have full knowledge that you may not; therefore, avoid the ocassion of sinning. Think of this:

My fiancee and i were college students 20 years old only and we want to marriage after 10 years for many reasons.I have sex with my fiancee.We arent married but she is my fiancee…Why thats bad?

Because sex is not simply a matter a pleasure but is a sacramental and unitive act between a couple. It is something ideally reserved for the marriage bed. If you really love the young lady then wait.

C’mon, Anton, you have asked this before on other threads about you and your French atheist girlfriend.

Ah It is that sort of a thread then…

It was asked . . .


Can i have sex with my fiancee?

Anton1000 (with emphasis mine) . . .

My fiancee and i were college students 20 years old only and we want to marriage after 10 years for many reasons.I have sex with my fiancee.We arent married but she is my fiancee…Why thats bad?

WHY is that bad?

Well let’s think this through.

You are talking about relations where a body/soul basically says to another body/soul . . .

“I am totally committed to you and you are totally committed to me. So deeply in fact, that by nature, our children may result. And we strive to be there for each other AND for our children in a proper totally committed manner. And God is an integral part of this relationship”

You are asking about . . . sexual relations OUTSIDE of the realm of marriage.

Do YOU think its OK after you are married, and WHILE you are married, if your wife had sexual relations with a DIFFERENT man too?

After all, by you and her fornicating, YOU taught your wife . . . “It’s OK to have sex OUTSIDE of the realm of marriage” by your ACTIONS with her before you were married.

Would THAT be OK if your wife was a female “philanderer”?

Is it reasonable in the future, if your theoretically promiscuous wife dumps you? (Even if ithe “dump” is only “temporary” while she is “carrying on” with some other guy?)

WHY is that bad?

I’ll await your response and proceed from there.

God bless.


Can you articulate why you, a Catholic, do not already know the answer to this? And what brings you here to ask total strangers this question rather than the priest or deacon preparing you for marriage?

Re: My girlfriend is an Atheist
“She promise that we havent sex if i dont want this.I go tommorow to ask the priest of my church what he say about this…”

I pasted the quote in red from you from your earlier thread.

:cool: So…what did the priest tell you went you went to talk to him the next day?

Look, you know the answer to the question already. No one here is going to say it’s okay, so why are you asking again?

You need to break it off with your fiancée if she is going to keep pressuring you to do something that is a sin.

Is this the universal teaching concerning sin, or just sexual sin?

I assume if you are in college then you can find the logic as to why this is bad.
Your girlfriend, ( not really a fiancée) athiest or not should help you to be holy. That is one of the purposes of marriage.
You need to learn your faith, love it and live it or this will end badly for you.

You are giving irresponsible advice to someone not fully formed.

You need to start another thread of your own and not derail this one.

It’s against Catholic teaching. Respect each other until your wedding night.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit