So, I tend to be pretty shy and reserved-even around my husband. Because of this, sex has always been pretty boring. I don’t know what to say to him during it, except “i love you” a few times and afterwards I don’t know what to say either. What kind of things are we supposed to say and talk about and what can we do to make it more exciting? I really want to show him how much I love him. Thanks for any advice!
I am a guy, and I know in the past, during lovemaking, when a woman said something along the lines of , “Baby, I am all yours” or something like, “No one will ever make me as happy as you” that made me feel most secure and happiest.
Also, you might want to tell him that you are getting pleasure, “That feels so good” or something along those lines. That would also feel great for a guy to hear his woman say.
Does any of that help? I hope it does!
Just love him and be honest.
Making love is a beautiful gift from God, especially when it is open to Life, but it is only a minuscule part of true love!
(As a man married for 30 years i agree with what comedian Jeff Foxworthy said “getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts!”)
Don’t say something because you want to please him, just love your husband as Jesus Loves us, perfectly and honestly!
Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, Ora Pro Nobis Peccatoribus!
So… imo the fact that my wife is relaxed and enjoying herself is so very much more important to me then what she is saying. With 3 kids between 6 months and 5 years this of course rarely happens for either of us. I would suggest maybe taking the time to plan out a great night for yourself and your husband. Get a sitter for the kids. Go to a nice romantic dinner, have a couple of drinks and watch a scary movie…don’t forget to relax and really enjoy it all. Knowing that you went through the trouble to plan an evening such as that would be far better then any words said. Knowing my wife cherishes me and loves to be in my company truly speaks for itself. Communication on what works is key to a great marriage.
You may have to ask yourself why “boring” is bad. Are you afraid you are not performing to some expectation? Has he expressed some dissatisfaction? Or, are thinking about some external standards? If the latter is the case, don’t believe all men are interested in a wide variety and don’t buy into the cosmo magazine line of thinking that you have to do some new bedroom trick in order to keep a happy marriage. Many of us men simply appreciate the effort. The romantic prelude as posted by irish_polock is a great example of the type of thing most men will really appreciate.
If you and your husband are satisfied with your romantic life as is, appreciate the gift that God has given you and your husband.
*Love him in your own special way…he will appreciate that most. There is no ‘one size fits all’ things to say or do. Be there fully, in body and soul with your husband, and he will feel your love…God bless! *
If you are shy about talking during or immediately after but want to say something, have you thought about writing love letters?
Just don’t email them to his office and get him fired.
Pick up a copy of “Holy Sex!” by Popcak.
Or check out, The Good News about Sex and Marriage by West.
Are you being fulfilled? That would be my question, if not tell him… move this way, do this, do that etc… then the appropriate response if of course he does it right Guys like this, we tend to like knowing that we are doing a good job.
Remember it’s not just about either in a Sacramental Marriage. God gave us this great gift for us to share with each other, share that to it’s fullest! You should definitely be having as good a time as he is