Sexual Arousal


I know I have posted about this before, but I am looking for deeper clarification.

It seems as though the culture of today is incredibly focused on sex. Sex for the sake of pleasure. I see this not only in the classroom, but among many different social circles. I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS THAT MIGHT SOUND A LITTLE EXPLICIT. I AM JUST WARNING EVERYONE.

Many guys I know claim to look at a random woman, and instantly become sexually aroused. For example. Many make a derogatory remark about a woman’s backside, or her chest area. They claim that just looking at those things sexually arouses them.

I feel un-normal for not thinking this exact way. Sex, and more specifically the woman in general, has always been to me a special, sacred thing. This was taught to me by my parents. I am certainly heterosexual and attracted to women. However, is it not normal for me to not get sexually aroused just by looking at a woman for an instant?

I, unlike many other men, don’t look at dating as a recreational activity. If a right, modest, beautiful, loving woman comes around then there may be a chance for dating. I have always been taught that it is not right to lust after a woman PERIOD. I have been taught that sexuality and the marital act of intercourse is something solely reserved to marriage and that it is not right to simply become sexually aroused by just looking at some random woman that I have never met.

I have always been under the impression that true sexual arousal comes when you meet the one you re truly destined to be with, not some stranger. Any sexual arousal from looking at a random woman off the street would just seem immoral and un-sacred to me.

Am I weird for thinking/feeling this way?


While it is true that you should not lust after a woman in your heart (or after a man), as you well know, it is not as though it were the fault of the individual if, upon seeing an attractive person, they felt a spark of sexual arousal.

What is of concern is whether or not the individual rejects temptation or whether they move into fantasy. Temptation is not a sin, it’s where we go from there.

If you happen not to be even remotely tempted by physical beauty, then God has chosen other trials for you.


As a man, I definitely am attracted to and notice natural beauty. I realize it, and appreciate it, while not stewing on it.


You are doing right and are normal. The only time I get aroused by looking at a beautiful woman is when I give into temptation. You my friend know how to appreciate beauty while I still have things to learn or control


No, you’re quite right. It definitely should not be our goal in life to lust after every beautiful woman that walks by as many guys seem to do. At the same time if a beautiful woman walks by I don’t think it’s sinful to think to oneself something along the lines of “Wow… she’s really beautiful!”


Sexual arousal is a very natural event, but it is a mental event that requires some concentration. It is not the natural appreciation of a good looking girl, and this form of normal attraction is not something to be restricted to the one you marry. Such thinking is expecting too much of any normal person. Do not over think your every reaction to every good looking girl in the room. This can lead to unnecessary scrupulosity.


I think SighGuy said it clearly:
temptation is not the sin. It’s when we act on it that makes it a sin. We all think of the opposite sex in some sort of sexual way but when we cause ourselves to be aroused by it is when danger comes in. A priest said at our church that it’s normal to have thoughts but when allow that thought to take a hold of us that can lead to fantasy or arousal is when it becomes sin.

What you consider an arousal is also a question- some people consider being in a fantasy an arousal when they’re by themselves which can lead to masturbation so this is a SIN! Or arousal when you are with your bf or gf making out heavily and being aroused is also a SIN! I think it doesn’t become a sin when you DON’T let it LEAD TO arousal. So before even getting there, REJECT the thought and pray the St. Michael prayer.

God bless!


No offense, SighGuy, but I can’t say that I never wished I were asexual. I’m a heterosexual male who has been diagnosed with both autism and obsessive-compulsive disorder. I have been tormented by crushes I have had on various female celebrities over the years. I have too often obsessed over them. In more than one case, how the celeb looked in a certain outfit was a big factor in me developing a crush on her. I can’t say that a big part of me doesn’t wish I were “turned on” by the sight of an attractive woman in an outfit I particularly like (after all, don’t people need to concentrate on tasks they need to complete?), but…


What happens with you is that you view women in general as human beings deserving of respect. You don’t objectify women and you are capable to see them beyond an object of pleasure so good for you. Lusting on women is wrong and objectifies them so you are on the right track. Now just think king that a girl is pretty is not lusting but what you are describing here: making remarks about their chest and back area and purposely staring at it to get sexually aroused, that is lusting.


You mean never? If you, as a man, never get sexually aroused just by looking at a woman briefly, no, that is not normal. That could indicate a problem. You might have a medical or psychological issue, you might be same-sex attracted or you may be called to a life of celibacy.

(To be clear celibate life is not a problem).


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