Sexual Limits while dating? Vocation Issues - military, preisthood, marriage


#1

what are the exact limits to sexual acts when it comes to dating?

Im currently single and I know that in the next 20 years or so I will probably be married or be a priest. I'm going to the air force tomorrow to sign the papers for basic training because I'm not ready to make a major commitment such as priest hood or marriage. I will hopefully be placed in a military job where I can serve. Maybe in a job where I can learn a new language and maybe start preaching the gospel in a country where there's not a lot of Catholics whom speak that language. Or maybe just do a regular military job and enroll in the accelerated PhD program so I can help others with a Psychology degree.

Any advice?


#2

[quote="maxdouglas402, post:1, topic:287546"]
what are the exact limits to sexual acts when it comes to dating?
**
No sexual acts while dating, pretty simple!**

Im currently single and I know that in the next 20 years or so I will probably be married or be a priest. I'm going to the air force tomorrow to sign the papers for basic training because I'm not ready to make a major commitment such as priest hood or marriage. I will hopefully be placed in a military job where I can serve. Maybe in a job where I can learn a new language and maybe start preaching the gospel in a country where there's not a lot of Catholics whom speak that language. Or maybe just do a regular military job and enroll in the accelerated PhD program so I can help others with a Psychology degree.

Any advice?

The Catholic Church does not allow us to proselytize. A psychology degree would be helpful if you are going to be involved with pastoral care. If you do not speak Spanish I would suggest that as a second language, it is a pretty widespread language here in the USA. A lot of priests here are asked to learn Spanish.

[/quote]


#3

[quote="Cristiano, post:2, topic:287546"]

[/quote]

Cristiano - I assume that the OP meant physical intimacy in general, not just sexual acts...for example, kissing. As with any other thread on this forum related to "limits" during dating - we are going to get a thousand contradictory answers, so I will limit my response to the objective facts of the Church's teaching:
1) It is forbidden to stimulate the genitals in any fashion outside of the marital act (IE no touching/contact of the genitals)
2) Performing physical acts that lead to deliberately lustful thoughts in either partner is not permitted.
3) Even St. Thomas Aquinas acknowledged that kissing is not objectively wrong outside of marriage - depending upon local cultural customs.
Beyond that..it is between you and your confessor/spiritual director...there are far too many personal factors and each situation is different.

In regards to the second issue - where on earth did you get the idea that the Church doesn't want us to preach the Gospel in foreign lands???? That's the Great Commission that Our Lord Jesus Christ himself gave to the Church: Go forth into all the world making disciples of all nations.....


#4

Ok ill talk to my priest about the sexual acts. My biggest struggle with sinning is lustful thoughts, so maybe I'll hold off worrying about this one.

I must have worded that second part wrong. I meant to say what language should I learn to help other countries hear the gospel. for example russian, japaneese, some language in the middle east possibly? Somewhere where the catholic church has a large opportunity of expansion.

And to what cristiano was saying:

I kind of want to get a PhD so I can possibly go somewhere other than America to help. I love my family, our country, the people of our country, etc. But I want to make a long missionary trip after I get the degree in some very poor foreign country. Most citizens in America can get help by going to a doctor a lot more easily.


#5

[quote="twf, post:3, topic:287546"]
Cristiano - I assume that the OP meant physical intimacy in general, not just sexual acts...for example, kissing. As with any other thread on this forum related to "limits" during dating - we are going to get a thousand contradictory answers, so I will limit my response to the objective facts of the Church's teaching:
1) It is forbidden to stimulate the genitals in any fashion outside of the marital act (IE no touching/contact of the genitals)
2) Performing physical acts that lead to deliberately lustful thoughts in either partner is not permitted.
3) Even St. Thomas Aquinas acknowledged that kissing is not objectively wrong outside of marriage - depending upon local cultural customs.
Beyond that..it is between you and your confessor/spiritual director...there are far too many personal factors and each situation is different.

In regards to the second issue - where on earth did you get the idea that the Church doesn't want us to preach the Gospel in foreign lands???? That's the Great Commission that Our Lord Jesus Christ himself gave to the Church: Go forth into all the world making disciples of all nations.....

[/quote]

I said that the Church does not want us to proselytize (especially Jews and Muslims), a lot of Catholics would like to do that, and the latest pope is not supporting it. The Catholic Church invites people to notice us when we live like Christians.


#6

I would never try to force anyone to believe what I believe. But like you said, just by example Id hope to make an impact. As well as the life experience of being with another culture i think that would be awesome.


#7

Really, you shouldn't be doing anything with your girlfriend that you wouldn't be willing to do with her in front of your own grandmother. Hand-holding, hugs and small, short kisses should be fine. Prolonged kissing puts you in danger since it can be a mortal sin to deliberately arouse yourself or the person you are with outside of marriage...


#8

[quote="maxdouglas402, post:6, topic:287546"]
I would never try to force anyone to believe what I believe. But like you said, just by example Id hope to make an impact. As well as the life experience of being with another culture i think that would be awesome.

[/quote]

I think that you are very disposed to love people and that is a great instrument to evangelize people. My suggestion is that you learn a practical skill that usually is not accessible to a lot of people because of its high cost. You have the right attitude and I am quite sure that you have the brains too. Learning other cultures is fundamental in understanding who we are and our own limitations, I think that probably you will make a good priest or a good husband.


#9

[quote="Cristiano, post:8, topic:287546"]
I think that you are very disposed to love people and that is a great instrument to evangelize people. My suggestion is that you learn a practical skill that usually is not accessible to a lot of people because of its high cost. You have the right attitude and I am quite sure that you have the brains too. Learning other cultures is fundamental in understanding who we are and our own limitations, I think that probably you will make a good priest or a good husband.

[/quote]

thank you very much for your kind words :) I actually switched to the army so I can be a Mental Health Specialist and make sure this is the career field I want to pursue. While in the army I can strive to obtain that second language and Im pretty sure they have the same PhD program as the air force.


#10

[quote="Cristiano, post:5, topic:287546"]
I said that the Church does not want us to proselytize (especially Jews and Muslims), a lot of Catholics would like to do that, and the latest pope is not supporting it. The Catholic Church invites people to notice us when we live like Christians.

[/quote]

Wrong wrong wrong.
The bible and the Catechism both tell us to go forth and "Spread the Gospel".
The current pope has made it very clear, by cancelling the pattern of joint prayer with other faiths at the large inter-faith gathering at Assisi that he feels it is important to spread the truth and not to pretend to accept any form of Relitivism as offering any kind of Truth.

Yes we must respect these other religions, but no we are not to deny their adherents the potential of an opportunity of a method of coming to the full truth which is held only in the true Church. - Their eternal souls hang in the ballance.

Pope John Paul II Repeatedly called for renewed efforts for evangilization. especially in the final decade of the last century. Our current Pope frequently does the same:
catholicnewsagency.com/news/pope-calls-on-all-to-participate-in-new-evangelization/
catholic.org/hf/faith/story.php?id=40083
vaticaninsider.lastampa.it/en/homepage/the-vatican/detail/articolo/concistoro-12768/

Here's a article about the Assisi issue: I'm sure you can find more... It's the most direct contradiction of your statemnet
catholicherald.co.uk/news/2011/01/07/despite-earlier-misgivings-pope-invites-religious-leaders-to-assisi/


#11

If you're asking how far can you go before it's a sin, then your mindset is wrong in the first place. Kissing and making out and caressing are foreplay to sex. Since sex is only ok within a marriage between a man and a woman, foreplay should be in the same boat. Nowhere in the Bible do you find an approval of such intimacy between an unmarried couple.

If you want to honor your future wife and the future husbands of the women you are going to date, physical intimacy should be off limits.

Flee (sexual) immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.

1 Corinthians 6:18

You may think you're strong enough to resist, but you never really are. Trust me. We're called to flee from it and not fight it because we will fail if we fight.

Don't make the same mistakes that so many before you have made.


#12

During my Marine Corps career I was sent to language training for Thai, Lao, and German, as well as brush ups on French and Spanish.


#13

Please inform yourself about the difference between proselytizing and spreading the good news. Please also search the comments from the last pope in regard to the topic with special emphasis on proselytizing the Jews.


#14

[quote="maxdouglas402, post:1, topic:287546"]
Maybe in a job where I can learn a new language and maybe start preaching the gospel in a country where there's not a lot of Catholics whom speak that language. Or maybe

[/quote]

[snip snip]

Any advice?

I would have this advice: If you say "They speak that language" and not "Them speak that language", then you should say "who speak that language" and not "whom speak that language".

Similarly consider this: "A man who[m] police believe committed the crime was arrested."

If you would say "He committed the crime" and not "Him committed the crime", then you should use "who", not "whom".

"I", "we", "he", "she", "they", "who" are used as subjects of verbs.

"Me", "us", "him", "her", "them", "whom" are used as objects of verbs or objects of prepositions.

(I wouldn't mind dropping "whom" completely, since today even intelligent people are so hopelessly confused about it, but if one insists on using "whom", it might not hurt to do it right.)

Hope this helps.

PS: You are hereby ordered not to read this post unless you want to.


#15

[quote="Cristiano, post:13, topic:287546"]
Please inform yourself about the difference between proselytizing and spreading the good news. Please also search the comments from the last pope in regard to the topic with special emphasis on proselytizing the Jews.

[/quote]

My simplistic understanding on this issue is as follows:
Brutish attempts to send organised "missions" to areas which specifically target Jewish or Muslim peoples are likely to enflame tensions between the Christian and Jewish or Muslim populations in those areas.
The goal of Eccuminism seeks to foster a spirit of mutual understanding, respect and co-operation between various faith groups - especially between the different ecclisial groups of Christians, but also between Christians and other religions. In the case of Judaism and Islam, we should first acknowledged that we are all "Children of Abraham", adn in common with the Jews we are all "Children of Israel" - the Jews by direct blood descent, and we Christians, mostly, by adoption.

However that does not relieve us as christians from the obligation to spread the good news to all men / the whole world. as defined in the "great commission": to "Baptise them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit."

Yes all world faiths seek to understand Devine Truth, and most have some valuable aspect of that Truth. But only Catholicism has the Fullness of Truth. All other religions lack that fullness to a greater or lesser degree.

In respect of the Jews: the bible both in the old and new testament points out that The Law is not able to save you, as it is not possible to keep the whole of the Law. Furthermore, it is not possible to even approach The Law in the absence of a Temple... and the last time the Jews tried to rebuild the Temple their efforts were demolished by a series of earthquakes, which they themselves accepted as a signal from God that it was not His Will for that to happen.

I don't know much about Islam, but their understanding of God differs greatly from ours. As we know without any doubt that Salvation comes Only through Christ, then who are you to demand that we do not attempt to reach out to them and show them the Fullness of the Truth?


#16

[quote="anruari, post:15, topic:287546"]

In respect of the Jews:

I don't know much about Islam, ....

[/quote]

Dont get me wrong. I'm not saying that all non Catholics are Dammed! out Magisterium has made it clear that who God chooses to grant his salvation to is unlimited by our meagre understanding of His Will. - However All salvation comes from Christ, and the Guarantee of Salvation is only found in the "One Holy Catholic and Apolostic Church"


#17

If you look for a traditional teaching:
sspxasia.com/Documents/Catholic_Morality/Kissing.htm
It is from the SSPX and they always stay very close to the true teachings of the Catholic Church.


#18

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