Dear Forum Members
There is something that I have more thna once read in this forum that has sometimes fed into to my scrupulosity.
I am now on a pretty good way conquering scruples, even though I have backslides sometimes, like one this weekend. I have come to realize that often, when I have a scruple and don’t ask ANYWAY (my pastor has agreed with me that in my specific case, it is ok to take the rsik to not ask, because as soon as I doubt that something is a sin, it already IS a scruple… I have such a sensitive conscience)… so, if I bear the fear and don’t ask anyway, usually, as in a miracle, it goes away!!! I go on with my life, maybe pray to God to take the fear away… and it ceases.
So that is really good.
Now, something HAS come up a couple times and right now I am struggling with it again. It is something that has to do with something I have read here, so I allow myself to ask here.
That is, it has been said here: If something is sexual matter, it is AUTOMATICALLY “grave matter”.
That would mean, if something is sexual matter (even a small thing, or even just borderline sexual matter?) and one does it with full awareness, full freedom etc… it would automatically be mortal sin?
What if it is not really sexual in the sense of seeking sexual gratification, but… something that just has to DO somehow with sexuality?
Like a thought comes to you that has to do with those body parts, and you think about it for a while, but not in a sexual way, but… well, it is an interesting thought.
I had a thought like that in realtion ith something holy … a little bit a childish though, but still intersting in a stupid way. Now looking back I feel it was wrong to have allowed it, as the thing it had to do was holy… but I dobt that it would immediately be a mortal sin just because it had to do with those bady parts which after all are natural?
Really wodnering how far this “sexual matter is grave matter” thing really goes. Have asked myself this before.
Actually this would go under “I am not sure so it is probably scrupulous” but since I have read this here (that is, the fear that it might be mortal stems from something I have read on this forum)… and ehem… maybe othe rpeople have asked themselves rhe same thing… ha ha justifying my asking… I allow myself to ask this here.