Sexual Morality in Marriage


#1

I am perplexed and would any appreciate insight into the following marital dilemma...

I fully understand that the goal of a marital sexual act is to have fully completed, potentially life-giving intercourse. However there seems to be a distinction between where a wife's orgasm can take place versus a husbands.

My question pertains to a situation where a husband and wife, fully open to life, are planning on completing vaginal intercourse during their love making. They are also striving for the goal of a simultaneous orgasm (a la "Holy Sex"). In the process of preparing the wife for the unitive embrace she is receiving manual stimulation, during which the husband unintentionally pre-maturely ejaculates.

Due to male recovery time, and the unique nature of each marital "session," it is uncertain whether or not the husband will be able to complete intercourse (round two). Should all manual stimulation be ceased at this point, despite the intention and hope of vaginally intercourse?

Thank you.


#2

Is that really recommended in that book? I’m sure Catholic opinions vary wildly on the legitimacy of that practice.

Even if the couple believes it to be in the clear, I would recommend avoiding this practice and trying a different one giving the trouble it causes them.


#3

[quote="SonCatcher, post:2, topic:208748"]
Is that really recommended in that book? I'm sure Catholic opinions vary wildly on the legitimacy of that practice.

Even if the couple believes it to be in the clear, I would recommend avoiding this practice and trying a different one giving the trouble it causes them.

[/quote]

as it is recommended by JOHN PAUL in Love and Responsibility.


#4

Macy, As I understand it is morally permissible for your husband to continue stimulation until you reach orgasm. This is because your husband did not intend to ejaculate prematurely so he did not sin. It is about his intent.


#5

Umm...

I hope this post isn't too specific, but I really don't want to use fake words that might lead to a lack of clarity.

My husband and I have been married for 31 years, and we are very diligent about maintaining an active sex life. (We have kept count for years.)

I almost always have an orgasm, and if I don't, it's because I'm too lazy. This has happened maybe a dozen times in 31 years.

We are good at sex. I'm sorry if that sounds graphic, but it's true. My husband and I have had 31 years of practice, and we're good. If there were a sex Olympics, we'd be on the medal podium. Again, sorry if this sounds graphic, but I'm trying to get across what our experience level is so that my opinion has some validity.

But I can count on two fingers the number of times that we have had simultaneous orgasms.

We've tried. We went through a few years where we tried to achieve this supposed "sexual pinnacle." And a few times, two times, we have done it.

But to be honest, I don't like it. I think it's better when each spouse climaxes separately because then the other spouse can enjoy their spouse's orgasm plus their own orgasm.

And it really isn't such a pinnacle. Seriously. If you ever achieve simultaneous orgasm, you'll wonder what all the fuss is about.

Blessings upon dear Pope John Paul II for his opinion about sex, but that's ALL it is, his opinion. It's not Catholic dogma.

My opinion does not have the gravity of Pope John Paul II, but I will offer it anyway in the hopes that it will help an inexperienced married couple. I think that a couple who works towards simultaneous orgasm will probably fail constantly, be horribly frustrated, eventually give up, and feel like failures.

Catholics have enough guilt as it is, especially about sex. Do you really need more guilt about a sexual practice that is only a Pope's opinion?


#6

[quote="Cat, post:5, topic:208748"]
But I can count on two fingers the number of times that we have had simultaneous orgasms.

And it really isn't such a pinnacle. Seriously. If you ever achieve simultaneous orgasm, you'll wonder what all the fuss is about.

[/quote]

To each his own. :shrug: Though I can definitely count on more than two fingers, more than two hands, even, the times it's happened here, and WE think it's pretty darn near amazing. Like almost perfection. ;)


#7

[quote="Cat, post:5, topic:208748"]
My husband and I have been married for 31 years, and we are very diligent about maintaining an active sex life. (We have kept count for years.)

I almost always have an orgasm, and if I don't, it's because I'm too lazy.

If there were a sex Olympics, we'd be on the medal podium.

[/quote]

If CAF gave medals for Best Post of the Day, you'd be on that podium too. This is a classic.


#8

[quote="onmyknees, post:4, topic:208748"]
Macy, As I understand it is morally permissible for your husband to continue stimulation until you reach orgasm. This is because your husband did not intend to ejaculate prematurely so he did not sin. It is about his intent.

[/quote]

Hmm, the original intent was to have intercourse, but if a couple knows intercourse is not going to occur, even if they had originally intended it, then they should not try to reach female orgasm.


#9

So the female should be left sexually frustrated simply because the male got too excited and finished too quickly? How about help the female achieve orgasm so that the man gets visually stimuated for round 2?


#10

[quote="takers, post:9, topic:208748"]
So the female should be left sexually frustrated simply because the male got too excited and finished too quickly? How about help the female achieve orgasm so that the man gets visually stimuated for round 2?

[/quote]

If they are planning on having intercourse its different. I was just pointing out that if one is not planning on having intercourse, if for whatever reasons one knows intercourse is not going to happen, then one should not try to achieve female orgasm. Parents sometimes might face this, being interrupted and not being able to complete the act as planned.


#11

All you men out there, YOU BETTER make your wife cum. Stop being so selfish; of course you should continue til' she reaches orgasm.


#12

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