Hello, I’m new here, and I’m pretty sure I have severe scruples. I was recently reading in the catechism about how sexual pleasure outside of marriage is evil. I was driving in my car the other day, got off my phone, and stuck the phone between my legs, pressing against myself, in a split second urge because it would feel kinda nice. Literally half a second later I jerked the phone from its position because I realized “that’s illicit sexual pleasure!” And I’ve been struggling with thinking I committed grave sin ever since. Am I in a state of mortal sin? Or am I having scruples? How do I even confess something like that?
Putting aside your specific question, the best think you can do is to meet with a trusted priest/confessor to discuss your scruples.
When in doubt go to confession.
Did you do it intentionally to give yourself a thrill, or did you just absent-mindedly put there only to be surprised?
If the former, it was probably wrong. If it was the latter and the result was basically an accident then don’t beat yourself up over it.
Still, it would never hurt to talk to your priest.
From the Catechism:
“2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.”
Holiness is a desire to do what God has ordered us to do, and by ordered, I mean what is the proper response we should have in situations like this. Mastery of our bodily desires is a good thing. Difficult but good.
When you talk to a priest, ask him what you should do in case of doubt.
I know from myself - have had a lot of problems with scruples too - that often it is difficult to even remember whether or not I did something consciously.
It would be good for you to have a kind of guideline what to do then… for example, if the priest you talk to told you to NOT worry about dobtful sins, or give you a guideline when to confess and when not, that might bring some relief.
I didn’t read the speicific issue as it is a sensitive topic for me too.