“If I had not done works among them that no one else ever did, they would not have sin; but as it is, they have seen and hated both me and my Father.”
“No disciple is superior to the teacher; but when fully trained, every disciple will be like his teacher. Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own?”
“A good person out of the store of goodness in his heart produces good, but an evil person out of a store of evil produces evil; for from the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks. ‘Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ but not do what I command?’”
“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him will not be condemned, but whoever does not believe has already been condemned, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.”
We really can make no statement regarding the condition of any person’s (living or dead) soul, except in the case of the saints that the Church has canonized so that we may have examples to follow. I would say to you all we can do is take the words of Jesus in the scripture quoted above for what they are. Knowing that we have a God who is perfect in charity, justice, and mercy we do not need to concern ourselves with the final count of those in heaven and in hell. We simply trust in Him. All we can do is preach the gospel and pray without ceasing so that all people we come into contact with will have an opportunity to hear the word of Our Lord, and to respond to it freely.
As far as how to admonish others, I would look in the gospel to how Jesus admonished the sinner that he came across. It was gentle and loving. While he acknowledges their sin, he lovingly calls them back to himself. Furthermore, consider Matthew 18:15-17.
Peace and good.