Sexual thoughts

How sinful are having sexual thoughts? And if someone has them intentionally is that a mortal sin?

In the past, I used to have sexual thoughts, like kissing, making out, intentionally when I would try falling asleep. I am not a sexual person and still a virgin, but I am human and would intentionally have these thoughts. I guess until I started learning more about God and coming on this forum I realized that it’s wrong, and I don’t think about that anymore. Maybe just hugging or innocent affection, and if random thoughts pop into my head but not intentionally have them like I used. My issue is I went to confession yesterday, and I didn’t confess this. I think I had previously confessed at a different time about intentionally having the thoughts, but I think from the list I had that I only said kissing and cuddling. I would say it probably was less innocent than that. Would I have to confess all my sins over again or am I being scrupulous? This is just something i would say is one of my most shameful thigs and I’m upset i did not confess this.

Well, Cupcake :), it sort of depends on the extent of those thoughts. If it’s just as you say, kissing and cuddling, that is probably just an imperfection, but if more, it’s a sin. If you just forgot to mention it, then the confession is still valid. If you intentionally did not confess it during the confession, that could invalidate the confession, if you felt it was a grave sin, but I get the impression you don’t think it was grave.

Do your best not to use your imagination in ways that are “carnal” but in ways that are pure and noble.

Hope that helps!

Cupcake, your on the right path. Stick to the middle of the road. Do you know that years ago that nuns kept a “sin book” and would jot down all their known transgressions? You could keep a little “sin book” and review it before confession so that you were less likely to forget something. Just don’t read from your little sin book in the confessional 'cause that is said to be a no-no. Prayers for you.:smiley:

Contrary to the belief of some, we do not have full control of what goes on in our head.

Having the thought is not per se a sin, IMNAAHO, but letting it run away with you might.


Thank you! Why do you say reading it in the confessional is a no-no? This last confession I actually had a list written on my phone so that I could confess everything I wanted, but I told the priest in the confessional and he didn’t have a problem with it.

Thank you Jamal! :slight_smile: at the time I didn’t realize it was so bad, but now i do think it’s bad, and also isn’t intentionally thinking about thoughts the same as dwelling on them?

Yes, I doing my best and have gotten much better at it

Willing thoughts for the sake of sexual pleasure is of grave matter and if one knowingly does this with complete consent than it is a mortal sin. It is the sin of lust.

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