Sexual vs Religious Attraction?


I’m autistic and don’t understand a lot of the fervor behind so-called “sexual attraction” and “romantic attraction” and all that. I’ve been in several relationships, but I can’t quite grasp the concept of this “sexual energy” we celibate people are supposed to be harnessing. I’m not “asexual,” either. In my view, I’m supposed to be with whomever God calls me to be with, and that means the concept of labeling myself with a politically-correct sexual orientation goes out the window. My sexual orientation is Catholic.

Recently, I’ve been feeling called to check out the religious life, but I don’t know if it’s a phase I’m going through or a whim or if it’s actually a sign from God.

My question is this: Is sexual or romantic attraction a similar feeling to a calling to a religious vocation? I’ve heard that those called to the religious life sense a deep inner peace that the world cannot provide, but isn’t that how we’re supposed to feel when we’re with our significant other whom God calls us to marry? :confused:

Since I’ve never experience sexual attraction (you can attempt to explain it to me, but there’s no guarantee I will get it), I can’t relate it to anything, and innocently having chaste words and actions when I’m completely oblivious of their effects on other people is a cross I carry.

Thanks in advance for any tips and tidbits you have to share, and God bless!


An interesting question. I am sure there are religious sisters, brothers or priest that have never felt sexual attraction or romantic attractions. I don’t think that they are necessary requirements to enter religious life. What IS required is a desire or calling to serve the Lord in honesty, obedience, chastity and humility. Frequently orders also have a 4th vow of hospitality. The reason that I said it was an interesting question or observation is because I never thought of it before. Peace.



I noticed that you are on your 3rd post here on CAF so welcome! I work extensively with folks that have autism, so naturally I wanted to welcome you here.

There is a feeling that some experience during what Catholics refer to as the marital act [since sex should be reserved for marriage] with a deep spiritual connection. I don’t believe this is an accident since marital relations is such a beautiful thing, bringing a man and his wife closer together, unifying them you might say.

A suggestion I have for you is to simply ask God through prayers to explain it to you. He might answer then and there, or the answer might come later. It will be answered eventually in a way that you will be able to understand.

Are you dating anyone? If so you might be feeling the attraction already and not know it. It isn’t always easy to tell, not even for those of us not on the spectrum. I applaud you for asking questions! Don’t be afraid to do that! I hope I have helped at least a little. Send me a private message anytime OK?


The word " Attraction " can be discribed as a Magnetic force between Two or more people.
You may feel Attraction towards a Car or perhaps a work Colleague,
I have a Female work Colleague with which I have worked with for several years,
There is a definite Attraction between us , it is purely a friendship Attraction,
We enjoy one another’s company , there is not any sense of romance of any kind,

You may feel Attracted to a Religious life, yes it might just be a Phase your going through,
I suggest you go on your journey of discovery , examine Religious life in all its forms ,

I think Romantic Attraction & Religious Attraction are not exactly the same thing,
Romantic Attraction is Emotional & physical,
Whereas Religious Attraction is Spiritual Attraction , your inner being,
Other people may disagree , but it comes down to individual interpretation
Good luck on your Journey ,


Sexual attraction is when a person feels sexually attracted to another person (or, if disordered, to any number of things.) It is a physical feeling brought on by hormones. These hormones can be triggered by many things. I guess your hormone level is just very low? I wish mine could be as low as yours (I mean, it’s not terribly high; it greatly fluctuates (as it does for most young women), but if it could be as low as yours all the time, I would LOVE that. That would make it super easy to be constantly chaste (which means sexually pure.)

Sexual orientation and religion are two different things and it is NOT un-Catholic to be of any sexual orientation, but is very important to be chaste and that means not acting out on any disordered sexual desires, although it sounds as though you don’t have the least problem pertaining to that.

Romantic love–that is true romantic love, can come with or without feelings of sexual attraction and is a very complicated thing.

Of course, our sexuality applies not only to such feelings and romance, but to who we are as people–as in, male and female, made to love God and each other…it’s very deep.

To learn more about such things, I highly recommend the Theology of the Body by St. John Paul II.


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