Sexuality as a Gift


Hello friends, I hope everyone’s New Year is going well.

I’ve been reading a lot about chastity lately, and I keep hearing the term “gift of sexuality”. Indeed, my priest has described sexuality as a gift of god.

However, suppose a person is called to celibacy, whether as a priest, religious or single person. Alternately, suppose a person struggles with SSA. In these cases, I have trouble seeing sexuality as a gift. Rather, I would see it as more of a cross.

Can anyone explain to me how, in these situations, a person could consider his sexuality to be a “gift”?

Thank you for the help.


i could be off base here, but i think you’re right. it’s a gift for married people. helps to make up for the cross of having a spouse other than Christ.:stuck_out_tongue:




Sometimes we have to give up things that are good for other goods (e.g. to become a priest or religious, in most cases that also means giving up the good of marriage.) We must make choices. The choice that is right for us does not make every other option a bad choice, but we cannot have, be, and do everything. (One could argue that the gift of sexuality is still offered even when the choice is celibacy - sex is not discarded as something icky to be avoided but offered to God to do something else entirely with it. I have heard religious sisters describe the opportunity to be spiritual mothers to those they serve, to nurture, and to work, in ways that simply would not be possible at all with the normal duties of marriage.)

That is different than having a tendency toward some sinful impulse that must be tempered. Enjoying food and beverage is good, but overindulging is not. Treating illness with medication is good, abusing medication/drugs is not. Having a conjugal relationship with one’s spouse is good, fornication, adultery, and contraception are not. We have different weaknesses that make certain sinful behaviors more attractive than others.


Enjoying food and beverage is good. What is enjoying sex then? Bad? It’s amazing the guilt, shame and stigma that people have about 2 grown adults having sex…and actually enjoying it.


It is true that SSA is a cross to bear. I’m pretty sure the Catechism says as much in one of its paragraphs.

Celibacy is a choice that is made. Perhaps it is a sacrifice for some but not for others, I’m not 100% sure on this.

Consecrated choose celibacy for the sake of the Kingdom. Their Spouse is Christ. Perhaps it can even be said that Crosses are also a gift.

Sometimes we aren’t able to recognize the final effects or good things that God wants to give us until we are on the other side of the veil.

But yes, sexuality is a gift generally speaking. It is a good thing given by God, to bring a man and a woman together. I’ve never had SSA myself but I still feel that perhaps more people who struggle with this can take control of their will and learn to love a person of the oppositte sex and buiild a family with that other person if they apply themselves and ask for the Grace from God. Perhaps their SSA may not disappear. I think for some, it does exactly that though.

God Bless.


Food is nourishing, and it is good to eat it, enjoy the varied tastes, etc. Too much food, or eating unhealthy foods commonly, or indeed, overindulging, is bad. Engaging in unhealthy/amoral uses of sexual organs, or doing such solely for pleasure is disgusting. It all has a purpose, and is to be enjoyed. Nobody is denying the enjoyment of sex.

@Mongol: Even a cross can be a gift, as they can make us stronger, or come closer to God. A sacrifice for others, as was the case with Christ. He suffered physically, but spiritually, he dealt with the weight of all the sins ever committed to redeem us. We cannot imagine how much pain his spirit was in. Yet his cross was a gift. Crosses…they are unpleasant sacrifices, but at the same time, they can make us better people. I apologize if I haven’t worded this properly; I can be a bit clumsy.


Did you finish reading my post? (Hint: “conjugal relationship” = sex.)

Yes, sex is a great good. The Church even says so. Spouses have a moral obligation to ensure their spouses enjoy sex. They also have a moral obligation not to treat each other as objects for sexual gratification. In addition, to seek sex outside of marriage, or to use it in a way that thwarts its purpose (e.g. try to prevent conception) is wrong.

Just like overeating to the point of being stuffed is wrong, just like getting plastered is wrong. Those can be pleasurable and fun, too, and certainly the person involves consents to it. But still against the purpose of eating and drinking.





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