SFO meeting


#1

Hi! I do not know where to post this but maybe someone can help me out here.

a) I would like to go and visit SFO for the first time to their monthly meeting (chapter?) beginning of next month. However, can somebody tell me what happens usually in these meetings, is there some sort of order in which things proceed? Not a member, just wanting to sniff around a bit.

b) Would it be acceptable to take my son with me? He will be about 2months old at the time, and sleeps probably the entire time, like he does in Mass.

Thank you so much for your answers.


#2

You could do what I did and contact the main fella who runs it in your area. I imagine it is different for any of the groups.

I don't know any Catholic group who'd be opposed to you taking a two month old with you :)


#3

Typical meetings vary month by month, fraternity by fraternity.

A lot depends on whether the SFO fraternity meets at night or in the day. A typical fraternity meeting for my fraternity consists of
1) Attending the healing Mass at the friary we meet at.
2) Lunch/social time
3) Business meeting
4) ongoing formation

Things can change depending on what the topic is and if there is anything special going on (i.e. elections, professions, special Masses, etc.)

Most fraternities are similar, just the ordering will change and they may have evening prayer instead of Mass, social time may be last, but all meetings are supposed to consist of prayer, social time, business meeting, and ongoing formation.

As to whether you can bring a kid. If it is a one time thing there shouldn't be a problem. I would suggest contacting the minister or someone on the council to make sure there isn't something special going on that meeting where having a kid present might cause issues. One thing to remember is that a majority of most fraternities are older people that have forgotten a lot of the issues that parents with young kids deal with (I am saying this as a professed member with two young kids myself)

If you want to go down the path of becoming a member I would make sure that you only plan on bringing the kid once in a blue moon. Having the distraction of a kid at the meeting will cut into what you are supposed to be getting out of things. Especially as your kid gets older and becomes more active and stops sleeping through things.


#4

Typical meetings vary month by month, fraternity by fraternity.

A lot depends on whether the SFO fraternity meets at night or in the day. A typical fraternity meeting for my fraternity consists of
1) Attending the healing Mass at the friary we meet at.
2) Lunch/social time
3) Business meeting
4) ongoing formation

Things can change depending on what the topic is and if there is anything special going on (i.e. elections, professions, special Masses, etc.)

Most fraternities are similar, just the ordering will change and they may have evening prayer instead of Mass, social time may be last, but all meetings are supposed to consist of prayer, social time, business meeting, and ongoing formation.

As to whether you can bring a kid. If it is a one time thing there shouldn't be a problem. I would suggest contacting the minister or someone on the council to make sure there isn't something special going on that meeting where having a kid present might cause issues. One thing to remember is that a majority of most fraternities are older people that have forgotten a lot of the issues that parents with young kids deal with (I am saying this as a professed member with two young kids myself)

If you want to go down the path of becoming a member I would make sure that you only plan on bringing the kid once in a blue moon. Having the distraction of a kid at the meeting will cut into what you are supposed to be getting out of things. Especially as your kid gets older and becomes more active and stops sleeping through things.


#5

Thank you both for your answers! I think I shall call the lady whose number is given in their webpage then. I hate calling (I would not call it a fobia but it gets pretty close) hence I thought I would ask first here.

I know only that they meet at 3pm usually, and once a month on Sunday. Have to say though that I wonder about that lunch you mentioned Marauder, you have to remember that these are Germans :D no such thing as a free lunch here :p

As to whether I think of being a member, I do not think it has to do with me wanting it, but of them accepting me. Now I do not think of bringing the kid often, I was just thinking that we are at a bit difficult situation right now. Namely my three year old is jealous -of dad! Hence I thought that it might be easier for my husband if I took the small one with me, especially as he seems to still sleep through things. I am not happy of the situation but it might be the only choice I have if I ever plan to get to the meeting. :rolleyes:

I am good at making excuse why I should not; I don't know them, I am not native speaker of German, I was pregnant so that was either not acceptable to go(in my mind), I should not leave my kids (bad mum not 24/7 there!). If I wait all of these to eradicate I never get there, and it is a shame that I feel very drawn to going and yet have manage to avoid it already 1,5years at the same time feeling as if I am dying from inside. :shrug:


#6

It is always a good idea to call first because you never know whether they decided to change their meeting day for a special reason. Sometimes in October we have changed our meeting night to be October 3rd so that it corresponds with the Transitus of St. Francis. Also we may change our meeting day for special events like professions. Most months we meet on the same Sunday, but not all months.

The lunch we have in our fraternity is not free. It usually involves just bring your own bagged lunch. Mainly since our meeting starts with noon Mass, most people can't eat until after Mass so we have to leave time for that. Some people usually bring some extra things to share, or may bake a cake or something like that. For special events (i.e. Christmas party, picnics, etc.) we usually have pot luck meals.

If you are truly called to be a Franciscan everything will eventually feel right. If you don't think it is the right time, it might not be. Remember this is a calling, not just joining a club. If you feel leaving your kid now isn't the right time, give it a few years, the calling will still be there. The Secular Franciscans will still be there. If you truly feel called to go, don't worry about what others think. It is normal to be nervous, but everything can be overcome. Most fraternities are very welcoming. If you attend the meeting and they aren't, that may indicate a problem. If you have any questions feel free to PM or to continue asking here.

Pax et bonum


#7

Great!, I love it when the kids come over to our fraternity. Especially one charmer of a professed regular member, a little girl with a smile that can have everyone forgetting where they left off. :) I find myself in the midst of our discussions sneaking in a koochie koo on occasion and subtly kicking over a toy hoping no one sees.

Your son would be welcome, and the crying no problem at all, hey there's not a baby I can't make smile. Children are a prime example of innocence for all of us and help to keep us humble, and a test/practice for tolerance and patience.

Parents usually know to keep children behaved, as much as that is possible, Ha!. Mass, there too I do the same, regaining my straight face quickly when mom turns around catching me making silly faces trying to make baby laugh.

I'm a mush around kids, just ask my grand kids.

If I knew you were coming over, I'd have the cookies ready.


#8

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