I’m not sure which forum this goes in.

I got news last night that a girl I knew when I was younger killed herself. I knew already for a few days that she had died but I didn’t know how until last night.

She’s Catholic. She went to our parish before moving away. My brothers and I played with her when we were little because she lived a few houses down from us. We have home videos and pictures with her in them. What I don’t understand from all of this is why it’s affecting me so much. Maybe because I’ve been suicidal too and now I get to see how my decision would have affected those in my life, or maybe because I’m just seeing the fragility of life.

I just don’t get it. She was 19. She had everything, but she still didn’t think it was what she wanted I guess.

Where is she?
I’m afraid to pray for her since I’m in so much mortal sin, but so many things are making me change lately. I guess this is one of them…


I’m so sorry :frowning:

I will pray for her if it’s alright.


I am so sorry for your loss.

You ask, “Where is she?” We do not know for sure, but God does. We have to trust in His mercy. Only He knows what was in her heart when she did this; perhaps she was suffering in some what that made her not completely responsible for her action. And we can hope and pray that God gave her the opportunity to repent in the moment before she died.

You should pray for her. Our prayers for the dead are heard by our merciful God.

But if you are in the state of mortal sin as you say, you need to go to confession so your prayers will be effective for her. In fact, the best way you can pray for her is to go to Mass and offer your Holy Communions for the repose of her soul. You will need to go to confession first before you can receive Communion. You can even offer any humiliation, embarrassment, or inconvenience associated with going to confession for her. If her death is leading you to a conversion of heart, perhaps it was not in vain.


It’s always hard when a contemporary dies, and especially the first time a childhood friend dies.

But this is part of life, dear soul.

In any case, hie thee to confession.


I’m very sorry for your loss, and everybody else’s loss. You can pray that God give her the grace to repent at her “hour of death”. Pray fervently and we will join your prayers. God bless.


I’m so sorry. I will pray for you and for her.


It may be a good idea to turn to God with all your heart.


Continue to pray for her. God is not bound by time, so I believe even the prayers you pray after a person’s death can affect her before she died. Take example from Mary who was conceived without sin before Jesus had died to cover her sin, the merits of His future crucifixion, death and resurrection were applied to her before she was born/conceived. All things are possible with God.


Maria Simma had the gift of talking to the poor souls and finding
out information similiar to Theresa Neumann. She said, “The souls have told
me that every person has the same opportunity at death to say “yes” at the
last moment.” Whether it was a fast or slow death, “They still all get the
same two or three minutes to say “yes” to God. And only if they hold on to
their “no” all the way through are they then lost and must suffer Hell eternally.
…we may never judge someone or guess about where they ended up. We
never see exactly what happens between the soul and God in those moments,
even though we can witness relative peace or the lack of it at the deathbed.”

Maria was a mystic who was able to commune with the poor souls. She would ask
them questions and the poor souls would respond.
What she said about the moment of death is not official church teaching, but
her knowledge of what she was told.

Sounds reasonable to me, and would explain why the destitute would have a last chance.

She wrote a book called, “Get Me Out Of Here”, which is about her experiences with
those in purgatory.

Just a thought.


I think it would be wise to speak to someone about this, may be your priest. You have been vulnerable in the past and this is bound to effect you, talking and letting others know how you are feeling should help you to keep an appropriate sense of perspective.


This thread is over 3 years old. The OP hasn’t been on CAF since November of 2011. Sometimes people come across old threads doing a google or yahoo search and don’t realize that you’re not supposed to resurrect old threads- instead, start a new one.




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