Share your stories of miscarriage


#1

I recently had my second. It was devastating. Please feel free to share your sentiments, poems, prayers, hopes, tears, joys, and letters to your babies.
It seems to me that many people don’t have an outlet because society sometimes does not admit that a tiny human is baby. Many people recieve little to no consolation in their time of need.

This is a poem I wrote

The size of a tear drop
The beat of your heart stopped
Draining of blood and clots
Our fears confirmed and the loss of our wants

Your life was so short
And the love so great in a mothers heart
It was then our greiving did start
Why God, Why was that life so short?

Hospital sheets all red
Slowly our hearts will mend
Now, only prayers we can send
Because the life inside me came to an end

All I want is to hold you
A little person inside I hardly knew
Would your little booties be pink or blue?
Out of my womb and into Heaven you flew

Why has God taken you from me?
One day I will see
It was an angel you were meant to be
Sitting with Jesus in all of His Glory!

Please, lets not make this into a salvation of the unbaptised discussion. It has no place in this thread!


#2

Thank you for your beautiful poem. My little one was lost to us Apr. 22 2004, and not a day passes that I do not remember/think of him/her. I am so sorry that you have gone through this and I will keep you, your husband and babies in my prayers.


#3

We lost a child to miscarriage. And to add insult to injury, on the day my wife had to go in for surgery, I had to go to our bankruptcy hearing.

What pains me the most is that at the time we kinda brushed it off, we never did recognize him.

Since then we’ve named him, Joses Samuel. I’m still at a loss as what to do. It’ll be 4 years soon, and we’re going to have a mass said for him, although I’m sure he’s eternally having one said for us. I feel as if we need to do more, although I don’t know where to start. When do we tell the other children they have another brother?


#4

Thank you for that beautiful poem. It has been too recent for me to be at any retrospective point where I can express my feelings yet. I miscarried my 6th child on May 1st at 11 weeks 3 days gestation. We were so devastated by this loss I thought my heart would never heal. Thankfully, the prayers and kind words of the posters here helped me to get past the angry phase of the healing process rather early. The biggest lesson I have learned from my ordeal is to let friends in on your hurts and it makes it much easier. My typical behavior is to hide all my hurts and deal with them alone…maybe I am finally growing up (I am only 43 afterall).


#5

I lost my first born when he was born prematurely 23 years ago. Leon lived for 5 days. At that time I felt that I would never get over it at all. The doctors told me that it was unlikely that I would have normal children as they suspected that Leon had a chromosonal abnormality. DH and I did not agree to a post mortem as we did not want to have Leon cut up. I was blessed to have Leon baptised a day before he passed away.
After his death, I was tearful and depressed, in some ways angry that God allowed this to happen. Shortly after Leon’s death, I was blessed to attend a life in the Spirit Seminar. It was a turning point for my faith life. Prior to this, I was just fulfilling my sunday obligations but not really praying or reading the Bible. God is indeed faithful and He so faithfully healed the pain inside me over Leon’s death.
Two years later, we were blessed with a son, Shaun and Sonia three years on. All this inspite of the doctors saying that I could not have normal children.
Take comfort in knowing that God is there always to take away the pain and wipe our tears when we cry out to him.
Will keep you in my prayers. God bless


#6

My wife suffered a miscarriage and was very upset. I wasn’t able to be of much help to her regarding her grief and pain. We found a therapist for her and that was very helpful.
Grief is grief no matter what the loss. It always hurts abominably. Get some professional help if at all possible.

God Bless,
Matthew


#7

I miscarried at 9 weeks a little over 9 years ago. The sadness diminished after about a year. It was our 6th child, and we went on to have one more child after that. A friend of mine suggested to me to have a Memorial Mass said at our home after we lost the baby. So about one month after the miscarriage, we had our parish priest come say a Mass in our living room and it was so wonderful and made it so real to the kids that we were praying for their little sibling who was now in heaven. We named him John Paul and we pray for him every day. I know he prays for us. It was interesting because there were several women who told me later that they had also miscarried years ago, including my aunt who had lost a baby more than 50 years before and had never told anyone but her husband. I think that was sad. I can’t imagine holding in that pain and sadness. I think it’s so important to have support when you grieve. Have you heard of the Elizabeth Ministry? It’s for women who have miscarried or had a stillborn child. I have often thought of starting one up at our parish. Maybe now’s the time.


#8

I had my first miscarriage a year or so after we married, but I hadn’t realised I was pregnant so it didn’t affect me so badly. Then I wasn’t able to get pregnant at all for about 5 years. On Christmas Day 2000, I miscarried the first of our twins. The second had to be removed after it too died. Our sons were born in 2002 and 2004, and I was thrilled to be expecting another baby, which was due on 31st December last year. Catherine was stillborn following an umbilical cord prolapse. Words can’t describe the pain. To top it all, I had another miscarriage at Easter. I don’t know if I’m more afraid of never having another child, or of being pregnant again.


#9

We’ve lost 2 babies at about 10-11 weeks gestation, one in August 2005 and another February 2006. They both didn’t grow past about 6 weeks though. We don’t know that they were girls, but we named them Guadalupe and Philomena. We were able to bury Philomena in a tiny wooden box in our garden. I sewed a tiny blanket to put in the box from fabric I’d bought to sew my baby a quilt. I cried as I made it knowing it was the only motherly thing I would do for her. There are beautiful forget-me-nots growing there now, ones we never planted. They’ve just come up on their own.
Even now that we have a beautiful baby daughter here on earth with us, it brings tears to my eyes to think of our other two babies. In my mind, I am comforted to think that perhaps Mary is taking care of them now.


#10

We lost our only one on April 28, 2005 at 5 weeks gestation. That is without a doubt the worst thing I have ever gone through. It was seven months before I was able to be around pregnant women or babies without completely losing it. It still hurts to realize that had that baby lived, he or she would be a toddling 16-month-old, but it is a comfort to know that the child I helped create is now up in heaven and interceding on our behalf.


#11

We have two beautiful daughters in heaven, Ariana Faustina and Gianna Clare. We miscarried Ariana in 2004, and Gianna earlier this week. God’s consolation is great, and His mercy, greater. With our first child, Ariana, our priest said a Mass for us a few weeks after the miscarriage. How wonderful each Mass is, where we are reunited with our precious children. With each miscarriage, my longing for the heaven, and for the holy Mass grows because I know I am and will be reunited with my children.

There are several scripture verses that have given me great consolation as I struggle through each miscarriage:

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” Matthew 5:4. What a comfort to know that we “shall be” comforted…God promises us who mourn the loss of our children comfort. He doesn’t say how or when, but He does say that it will happen.

“But store up your treasures in heaven…for where treasure is, there will your heart be also!” Matthew 6:20-21 And what a treasure our precious little babies are…

“Those who sow in tears, shall reap with cries of joy.” Another beautiful promise from our God. If God can but use my tears, my sorrow for His glory, praised be Jesus Christ! What a blessing it is to be a mother, and to be able to offer the suffering we endure for our children for the good of all the world!

I thank God that Ariana and Gianna are in the arms of a perfect Mother and a perfect Father now. I thank God that each miscarriage has brought our family closer together, and that we have our girls to intercede for us constantly. I thank God for the opportunity to join in His redemptive suffering. I thank God that through each miscarriage we can learn more about His sacrifice, a sacrifice necessitated by our sins, and the pain His dear Mother must have felt because of our sinfulness. Thus He draws us closer to Himself, because we experience this deep pain.

I will pray for all of you as you continue your journey, that you may find healing and consolation in Christ. Please pray for us as well; we need God’s continued healing and mercy, as it is a battle daily to keep our perspective heavenward!


#12

I have not experienced a miscarriage myself, but my mom has had 4. My dad and she told us kids that they miscarried and that the babies live in heaven. My parents named them Michael Leona, David Marie, Mercy, and Joy. My mom also made a baptism candle for them (their names and birth/death dates are all on one candle) and she displayed the candle with our baptism candles. Also a friend of my mom’s gave her a plant for the first one.


#13

Oh wow, how heartbreaking! :frowning:


#14

Yes, she is :slight_smile: You can be sure about that!


#15

What a beautiful post. I will pray for you and all those who have suffered a miscarriage.


#16

Over the past year I have shared a great deal about my two children that I buried this year. Theresa was born on Mother’s Day of 2006. She was born dead 31 weeks after conception. Joseph Marie was born died 14 weeks after conception on Nov. 6,2006. I miss them both. There are days when my heart is filled with joy, knowing that they are both in heaven, but there are also days when my heart is filled with sorry because I have never seen them smile.

We gifted both children to Mary. Theresa was Mary’s Mother’s Day gift and Joseph is our gift to Our Lady Of Guadalupe. His obiturary tells of how his life touched ours even before we could see his face. I used to place him at the feet of Our Lady Of Guadalupe as I prayed that I may be allowed to keep him. Shortly before I found out he had died, I began to pray that I would recieve the grace to do what ever it was that the Father would ask. I shall never have another Mother’s Day when the focus will be on me. My Mother’s Day is for Our Lady. My heart grieves for my children. God said that we would struggle to give birth. It is a struggle to birth them into this life as it is also a struggle to birth them into the next. They are my little Saints always praying on my behalf. They are a blessing just as their brother and sisters are.

People honostly don’t know how much the silence hurts. All life should be celebrated. I love the two children that are in heaven just as much as I love the three children on earth. Greiving for children isn’t proportionate to their age.


#17

Thank you for your post. My prayers are with you. With Mother’s Day coming up, I have been thinking alot about how both of my miscarriages happened shortly before Mother’s Day, and the significance of this. I know God is answering this through your post, so I thank you again for posting it, and now I plan to offer my children as a Mother’s Day gift to Mary tomorrow. What a beautiful gift to our Lady; giving to her our children, as she gave us her son.

Each miscarriage is also a reminder to me of the deep roots the culture of death has in our country. You say “All life should be celebrated” and you are so completely correct. We miscarry very early in pregnancy, and so many people say “you’re young, you’ll have more” as if it shouldn’t matter that one of our children just passed away. We also see how the medical profession would just treat our babies as “tissue” if we would let them, if we did not constantly remind them that this baby is a precious gift from God, a person with a soul, a gift never to be repeated again. Let us all pray with our late Pope John Paul the Great for a culture of life to come about in our country & world.


#18

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.