I’ve been in denial about this for a while now but now I know that my faith is limp and lacking. For one it seems that anytime religion is mentioned I must be ready to defend hundreds of pages of dogma and words in the bible that may or may not contridict themselves. (Not saying I found any but I’m certain people will go out of the way to find human errors in the bible.)
Second I figured that I can only truthfully say that I have a chance in heaven the moment after I leave confession (which is rarely recently) and in less than a day I can find something I did that’ll send me to enternal damnation.
Then theirs the 2000 years of history to deal with where you must defend the eviction and deaths by the Inquisitors; only to have the subject then moved on to the Crusades or some other blood stain in the history for the Catholic church.
Then you have atheistic thought that is probably the biggest enemy for the Catholic church as their is no structure to it; it’s like the United States in the Vietnam war. While a Catholic must defend their dogma and scripture, their attacker can hide behind a wall of no taught moral or the likes. Possibly the only place I think faith has the advantage is in the begining; but even mentioning this would make you seem ignorant by saying it was God instead of “I don’t know, but science will prove it soon.” (Also their is the fact that scientists have billions of years to work with to claim the Earth was made by chance…)
Another part is personal lack of faith; even before society thought it was their duty to break Christians of their faith, I had trouble believing in things like Transubstantiation for the biggest example. Then recently learning that not all the stories in the bible should be taken literally; well thats good in a way but it also weakens defending the bible since anyone can just point to the stories that shouldn’t be taken literally as the example of simply a superstition
One more note is that I’m not being targetted by someone I know who is trying to derail my faith. It’s society in general who continue to simply say that Christianity will become the next religious oddity like the pagan gods of mythology.
Finally I do know one thing; that I do refuse to accept the ‘dawkins followers’ way of thinking which from what I’ve seen is their to belittle the Christian faith with examples like ‘flying spagetti monsters ect.’ (No I have not read the book; it’s just spewed out in any mention of religion on the internet.) But the problem is that I can relate to that example through things like Santa Claus and realizing he doesn’t exist. I believe I just finally realized he didn’t exist and simply moved on with life which is what I’m afraid of doing for my faith in the Catholic Church… one things is certain; If I get to an older age with my faith still intact I will never lie to my child about things outside of faith in God.
So there it is; I feel like the world is against me and my only defense is a splintered wooden shield called personal faith against a steel lance that is scientific evidence. (Another thing keeping me hanging on a thread is my full belief that people have souls; I cannot comprehend that we are the only speices on earth to gain this human level of intelligence.)