She didn't know she was pregnant!


#1

So my sister in law calls my husband last night as he was trying to go to sleep to let us know that her best friend was pregnant and just had the baby that morning!!! WHAT?!?! I'm still having a hard time digesting this and I barely know this girl! Luckily, she just graduated high school. I don't know the whole story, but apparently this girl didn't know she was pregnant and went to the hospital for some reason and they said she was in labor. How can you not feel a living thing inside you kicking around! I just had a baby 8 months ago so I just cannot understand this. She did say that she had gained a little weight, but she is already a bigger girl so it didn't look like a preggo belly. I just want to scream this to every teen that "Every time you have sex there is a chance you can make a baby! That is why God made sex for MARRIED couples!" Yes I did make mistakes when I was their age, but I don't want them to have to go through all that. Anyways, my SIL is a very good teen in spite of all the drama her friends make. I just wish she would be more outspoken about her moral values and talk to her friends about not having sex, but whatever! I can't change that! Now, she's posting all these photos on facebook of the new baby and congratulating her friends. I know every baby is a blessing and so darn cute, but I don't think she should be congratulating her friends on having premartial sex! I know she's not exactly saying that, but it sure seems like it. I feel sorry for this baby. My husband didn't get to say much to his sister because it was so surprised and half asleep, but I feel like I should talk to her more in depth about this. This girl who had the baby is apparently Catholic, but doesn't take it seriously. I feel like my SIL should be helping her friends by expressing her morals of the Catholic faith. Anyone have any advice on what I should talk to her about? I'm not really good at talking about serious things to her so I might chicken out, but I can always write something to her. Sorry so long, I just had to vent! :)


#2

There is a show called, "I didn't know I was pregnant." and there are many women who experienced the same thing...wierd.


#3

Well, there is a whole television show based on women who didn't realize they were pregnant, so I guess it's not all that unusual. Some women have no morning sickness, some have their period or something like it pretty much throughout their pregnancy, maybe some babies are very quiet or the woman doesn't realize what it is. It's hard for me to believe, having gone through it twice, but since there are quite a few of these stories, I have to accept that it does happen.

As for what you should say to your husband's sister...well...I would just reflect what is true, that however cute the baby is, it is not a doll and is going to change this girl's life forever, and that if she cares about her baby's future, she should consider adoption. After all, she may not even know who the baby's father is! But don't be heavy-handed about your conversation - just respond to whatever gushing she does about the baby with the reality that you know - babies are a tremendous responsibility even within a marriage, and sex outside of a marriage is wrong, etc.


#4

Yes, I used to watch that should all the time! I never thought I would actually know someone it happened to. I still don't understand though. If you're having sex, you must consider the chance of having a baby! Luckily, she does know who the father is, it's her boyfriend. They've been dating for awhile and everytime I see a teenage couple I think they're having sex. I try my best not to judge, but it's hard not to when you know they don't take the Catholic faith seriously. Teenagers just really bother me when it comes down to the stupid decisions they make. I just want to help them all! I'm scared to raise my daughter in this crazy world...


#5

[quote="nickel9450, post:4, topic:251509"]
I just want to help them all! I'm scared to raise my daughter in this crazy world...

[/quote]

Youth directors can always use volunteers at youth group...:)


#6

[quote="nickel9450, post:4, topic:251509"]
Yes, I used to watch that should all the time! I never thought I would actually know someone it happened to. I still don't understand though. If you're having sex, you must consider the chance of having a baby! Luckily, she does know who the father is, it's her boyfriend. They've been dating for awhile and everytime I see a teenage couple I think they're having sex. I try my best not to judge, but it's hard not to when you know they don't take the Catholic faith seriously. Teenagers just really bother me when it comes down to the stupid decisions they make. I just want to help them all! I'm scared to raise my daughter in this crazy world...

[/quote]

Teens can be in denial about their chances of getting pregnant. They may have been using condoms, or the withdrawal method. She may have wanted to get pregnant. You're right, teenagers are stupid, but then this is nothing new. It's just that before recently, getting pregnant outside of marriage would cause so much shame that girls went away, had their babies and gave them up for adoption. Now they either abort or keep them, sadly for the babies.

From my perspective, it is the father's responsibility to teach the children about the gift of their sexuality. Definitely with girls, the dad needs to teach her from an early age about how to respect herself and demand respect from boys, and how to stay pure.


#7

its important to congratulate her on her baby. The time to chastise for premarital sex was 9 months ago. :) Now there is a new living being, a new soul created by God, come into the world. It is much more appropriate to focus on that now. :)

Very strange she didn't notice for 9 months, or miss her periods, and whatever else goes with it...very strange.


#8

[quote="nickel9450, post:4, topic:251509"]
Yes, I used to watch that should all the time! I never thought I would actually know someone it happened to. I still don't understand though. If you're having sex, you must consider the chance of having a baby! Luckily, she does know who the father is, it's her boyfriend. They've been dating for awhile and everytime I see a teenage couple I think they're having sex. I try my best not to judge, but it's hard not to when you know they don't take the Catholic faith seriously. Teenagers just really bother me when it comes down to the stupid decisions they make. I just want to help them all! I'm scared to raise my daughter in this crazy world...

[/quote]

Teenagers are really good at denial. They don't think they'll get pregnant and when it happens they often don't face reality.

That said, I worked with a married registered nurse who didn't find out she was pregnant until she was very late in her third trimester. She'd had periods all along and she was a big gal so any weight gain didn't come as a surprise. No morning sickness and if she felt life it wasn't enough to make her figure out what was going on until quite late in the pregnancy.


#9

[quote="nickel9450, post:4, topic:251509"]
Yes, I used to watch that should all the time! I never thought I would actually know someone it happened to. I still don't understand though. If you're having sex, you must consider the chance of having a baby! ...

[/quote]

You'd be amazed at how many sex education courses fail miserably at making that connection. Mostly its about "protect yourself" without going into any real detail as what the sex act is designed to do.

When I hear people make the claim "The human body was made for sex" I tell them its only partially correct, the human body was made to make babies.


closed #10

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