Ok, here is a softball.

My sister-in-law keeps buying my daughter (4 y old) shoes.

Not cheap shoes, but the $50 mall shoes, I am guessing an average one or two pairs per month.

I’m not sure of her finances but she has had credit card debt problems in the past and I surmise it is likely that she and her husband probably do not have extra cash to easily afford this.

I don’t ask for them. I thank her for the gift and do not offer reimbursement. Heaven knows a 4y old doesn’t need very many shoes. Options:

Say thanks but we don’t want them?

Just keep taking them?

Pay for them? (I don’t want to encourage this behavior).

I hope someone can provide me appropriate amounts of tact and spine.




I would tell her that you appreciate her her generosity, but that she has enough shoes and you are worried about the consequences to her personal finances. I think being direct but polite is usually the best policy.


You could tell her you have run out of room in her closet for any more shoes right now :slight_smile:

Since she’s your SIL, how about having your husband (if it’s his sister) or your brother (if it’s his wife) talk to her?


Can your sister in law adopt me? I have a serious shoe habit :slight_smile:


Good iea, have some one talk to her about it, very lovingly, of course.

If that fails, ask her to give a gift receipt with the shoes :slight_smile:


Tell her because your child is at such an important age for foot development that it would be best if she only wears one or two pairs of shoes. If your child keeps wearing different shoes she may not get a chance to wear them in and get the right amount of support for her feet. :smiley:


When I was four, I probably had two pair of shoes. One pair was corrective (yuk) that I wore most of the time and the other were canvas for play.

As for your sister-in-law, I doubt your saying anything about her shoe buying habits is going to help. If you don’t need the shoes, continue to take them and give them to the local St. Vincent de Paul Society or other charity who can give them to little girls who really need them.


I agree with a PP who suggested that as she is an in-law, you not be the one to bring anything up. It’s always a better idea for the sibling themselves to talk about these kinds of things.

Another idea is that you can say your child’s feet are very sensitive and only certain shoes are comfortable.

If none of the ideas posted here work, and they’re all great, I think you’re stuck.

God bless!



Is there anything your child does need instead of shoes?

If so, tell SIL that your dd isn’t old enough to care about shoes yet, but she could really use a (fill in the blank) instead, if SIL wants to get a gift.

If she keeps buying shoes, I don’t see how you can stop her. Let your dd wear them once or twice and give them away when they’re too small. --KCT


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