Please watch this:
This really depicts my life starting two years ago, in loving God then falling away trying to get attention from a guy in my class. I then tried to work to get money, but being fired really hurt. I thought my misfortunes were because I wasn’t good enough, not for my friends who were trying to drown their own loneliness. So I tried to be thin, but I couldn’t do this without people noticing I wasn’t eating(so I never had an eating disorder), so I cut myself. I started feeling numb(inwardly)after this, and only focused on the pain. I contemplated suicide because this pain couldn’t fix anything. Telling my friend, she told the teachers and my parents, and I went to counseling for sometime. This really broke down the wall I was putting between God and myself, and I realized all that mattered was his love. I have not fully healed yet, but everyday, God shows me more and more his love and forgiveness. God shows how wonderful life can be, and that’s why I want to give my all to God!