Should Catholic parents attend gay child's nuptials?


Another thread on this particular forum got me wondering about gay marriage.

Hypothetical: Your son or daughter wanted to marry their significant other in a state which allows such marriages. Would you attend? Why or why not?

Would it make a difference if by not attending the marriage ceremony it may put a strain your relationship with your child?


I would attend without a second thought. There would be no conflict if they would end up in that style of relationship. As long as they are happy and find true love (with all the usual ups and downs).



Thanks Jimbo, for the links. :slight_smile: I was looking for other people’s opinions, not just the Apologist’s answers.


Well, good luck. All you’re likely to get here is a big ol’ pot of crazy.


Truer words have never been spoken.

As for me, of course I would (and Nepenthe too)! Also of course, I’m not an overly-scrupulous Catholic, or even Catholic at all (well, technically I’m apostate, but who’s counting?). Even if that were not the case, though, I as a parent would have a duty towards my children, whether or not I agreed with their choices.


lol … well, I’m not sure about crazy but I have to admit about being surprised by some of the responses I’ve read concerning certain situations. The world is certainly filled with different approaches to life and religion.


I would attend, for I believe Jesus’ greatest Commandment to us is to love our neighbor as ourselves. To show up would show love…and I would leave his/her moral state in God’s hands.


Different situation, but when my husband and I got married outside of the Church, my parents did not attend. They knew that if they attended, it would be as if they were “sanctioning” marriage outside of the Church, which they don’t.

It was the best thing they ever did for me. It showed me that they held true to their convictions and the Church’s teachings.

I later had my marriage convalidated in the Church - and my parents attended gleefully!

As for my own son, if he were “gay” and wanted to get married to his “partner” - I don’t think I would go for the same reasons my parents didn’t go. Marriage is reserved for only a man and a woman. This is what I believe in.


:thumbsup: :thumbsup:
(one from me and one from my husband)


I won’t be surprised if someday we see a question posed here as to whether a divorcee should attend the wedding of her former husband to their daughter - and some folks saying yes. :whacky:


For my children, I would attend…in a heartbeat.


:thumbsup: from me as well, although I would probably attend my child’s wedding if it was outside the Church. It depends on the reason and the venue. For example, I wouldn’t support a civil ceremony, but if the child got dispensation from the Church to marry in a non-Catholic Church, I would attend.

Regarding a gay nuptial? No. I wouldn’t attend, but I would have a long talk with my kid explaining the reasons and that I love them.


Listen to Tonks. This really is the best answer out there. :thumbsup:


Exactly. As part of educating our son, he is aware of the Church’s laws on marriage and that he is bound to them as a Catholic. He knows about dispensation from form, etc. He also knows that should he ever choose to enter an invalid “marriage”, his mother and father will not attend.

Are DH and I the only Catholics on earth who actually TEACH our kid about valid Catholic marriage? I’m beginning to think we are oddballs :shrug:


I absolutely would NOT attend, nor would my husband.

The state of their soul is far more important to me than if they will feel good about coming over for dinner on Saturday night.

What we do here on earth is preparing us for where we are to spend ETERNITY. “Maintaining a relationship” with someone, while nice and warm and fuzzy and gives us oh so much pleasure, does us all damn bit of good if it results in dying and going to hell for eternity.

I really fail to see how there could ever possibly be anything more important than the state on one’s soul. Being afraid that they may not speak to you again because you are not in favor of them living in sin is the least of the worries.

Attendance at such an event is support and validation. PERIOD. And no Catholic should support and validate such an event. I don’t care who the participants are.



You can teach all you want, but they will do what they want.



Under no circumstances. Not if it meant every member of my family would never speak to me again. Feelings are just feelings, but the moral law doesn’t bend.

God Bless


Of course, but, by being very clear about what the law is and what the ramifications of breaking that law are, as an adult they can make an INFORMED decision to break that law. The second half is to let your kids know, if you break either civil or Church law, I will not be a party to it. I won’t drive the car if you rob a bank, I won’t help you sell drugs, and I won’t attend an invalid wedding. If you break civil law and go to prision, I will visit you and love you the entire time. If you break Church law and endanger your mortal soul, I will still love you and pray for you, I will listen to you and visit you - I just will not support you in that error.

We have to show our kids - through our actions - that we will stand up for what is right. My son knows that I have dear friends who ARE gay. He knows these people, and knows that I love these people. I do not shun people - heck, I’m a real softie.

I have a friend who is having an affair. I still love her and go to her home and she comes to mine - we are good friends. I REFUSE to let her use me “cover excuse” so she can meet her lover.

Love the sinner, hate the sin.


I would attend. But that’s my decision.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit