Should I Anyway?


I have a question maybe someone can help me get an answer please.(this part is a bit long please bear w/me) Last time I was able to take part in Communion was 8 years ago this is because My husband and I were not married at Church but by the Justice of the peace. Although we did take our marriage course that was needed we never were able to do it due to the money factor(a long story) I really felt a big calling from God 3 years ago when our oldest Daugther passed from SIDS at the age of 2 1/2 mth old. I really felt him with me like I NEVER in my life did. Never once did I feel that I needed to question why our Anjelique passed nor anger from the moment she passed I felt something ( I truly believe it was our Lord) saying it would be ok… I felt him, I was answered prayers. Not to make this any longer but when we had to return the house to get things for Anjie’s funeral we left my MIL’s house (my husband and I) before anyone woke up it had been the first time I was returning to the house (it had been 2 days since she had passed) My Husband told me if I truly would be able to come inside into her room and asked me if I wanted him to get her things for her but I said No I had to go. As we got in the car I remember looking out the window and started to pray I prayed with tears and I rememeber asking God something that I thought was impossible but still I asked our Lord for to see my Anjie just once more to see her smiling ,looking at me just once more that it would give me the strength I needed I remember saying Lord I know I am asking the impossible but please at the moment my husband told me Ellie I have something to show you. (I was praying in slience so he did not know what I was praying) he said I have something to show you but I don’t know if you would be able to handle it now but I said no please what is it I thought it was something that they told him in the hospital about Anjie but instead he handed me his cell phone and it was a video that I didn’t even know about that he had taken of Anjie and me one morning… her doing tummy time and her and I “talking” and her looking at me and smiling…" I remember crying and just saying He answered me and praising God and here is my poor Husband wondering what was going on I did tell him what had happened and I was able to go into the house and was able to go into her room I remember falling on my knees and praising God I NEVER EVER had done that it wasn’t something that was me it just happened. From then I was attending church and seeking God more and trying to learn. .Fast foward a bit… we were blessed w/a 2nd daughter who is now 2 years old.So much going everything seemed to get in the way and Again I had put my relationship w/God to goon the side and then 3 mths ago our Daughter (she got a febliere seziure) got ill this time when we were at the ER I felt again something saying Seek for me… This time it was different I did but it wasn’t because more of fear but it was more because I wanted to do it. Something I NEVER EVER wanted to do I have been going to church and needing to go to be there, with each gospel that is read I feel it.(again NEVER has this been the case) I have done things I never had before and learning more I do the more I feel the need. Now is really where my question finally comes in… lol… I have not gone to Confession should I? It hurts so much each time I attend mass and I can not take part in communion I know until our marriage is not blessed I would not dare but do I still go to Confession now or do I wait? I actually fear that when I do confession I will have a true breakdown I don’t want to scare my priest…lol… I am at a cross as what to do. I thank you for taking the time in reading my VERY long post. as well thank you for posting your opinions /responses with me as well…

Also: Also our sons go to Catholic School at our parish, I don’t drive so I have been attending at another parish as I can walk there… Where do you think I should go to ask that our marriage be blessed as well. How do I go about it… I am a bit nervous about it to… My husband’s relationship w/God is more or less distant since our Daughter passed he doesn’t talk about it but I know so tha is one of the things I was so in awe of him when we were dating… He would attend church alone before coming home from work (he works nights) I told him how important it is for me for our marriage to be blessed and he is fine w/it . What are your thoughts on that…

I know this is an extra long post but I can not tell you how good it feels to be able to post and to be able to “talk” about what is going on with my relationship w/our Lord and have someone understand and be able to know what I’m talking about :slight_smile:

Blessing to all…



Ellie, your post is beautiful, don’t worry that it’s long.

I’m sorry to hear of your past loss.

God has called you back to His Church, that alone is a great thing. The short answer is: yes, you should go to Confession. I say this not because you need to feel bad, but because God’s mercy is ready to cover you in His Sacrament of Penance! The Sacrament is there to help you, that’s all it’s there for. Reading your post I know you know what to do, so I want to tell you not to worry about it, just go; the priest will understand, and help you. Don’t be afraid.

As for getting the marriage blessed in the Church, that’s not nearly as hard as you might think! Just talk to your priest again. If there’s a special priest you know, have him bless the marriage.

God is calling to you, all you need to do is answer Him; and I know you are. I write this to you with all the love I can hold in my sinful person; don’t give up!

God bless you and your family!


I am very sorry for the loss of your child. She was truly your little angel and is waiting for you in heaven. The Holy Spirit is calling you back to the Church. Call the rectory at the parish of your choice, and ask to make an appointment for Confession. You can also ask the priest what is needed to have your marriage blessed in the Church. Your husband may take a little longer, but be patient. Welcome Home!!


welcome home! God has called you, now its your turn to answer. Go to confession, you will be free and feel so much better. Ask your priest to bless your marriage and im sure he will! Then you will be free to take communion. for me the experience of communion completes the mass and makes me feel closer to God and i hope you feel the same:)
peace be with you


Hello, Ellie. I’m glad you want to return to the sacraments. I hope your family attends Mass together.

You will not be getting your marriage “blessed” – you would be getting it convalidated. It is not now valid in the eyes of the Church. If either you or your husband was previously married, and if it has not yet been declared null by a Marriage Tribunal, then talk to your pastor about petitioning for an annulment. Annulment is not automatic though.

If there is no prior marriage, your pastor can help the two of you prepare for the convalidation. He might simply have a few sessions with the two of you, and/or he might have you attend a Marriage Encounter weekend.

As long as you’re invalidly married, you cannot take advantage of the sacrament of Reconciliation, unless you and your husband are willing to live as brother and sister (refrain from sexual relations). This is something you need to speak to your pastor about. The two of you can go to confession just prior to the convalidation.

I suggest you do what you can to educate yourself in the faith. Also, bring your family to Mass every Sunday, no matter what!


I wanted to post and say thank you all for those who have posted and just wanted to share with you something that happened today. Well Yesterday I did go and buy my first own rosaries and thought to myself I would ask the Priest to bless them. I have been learning how to do the rosary on my oldest son’s communion Rosaries and it was actually him who told me what I had to pray :slight_smile: (he’s 10 -my boys are in Catholic school)

So when I went to church today first thing that happen is I’m a stay at home mother and so the pocket change I do have is from my little business I do at home w/stamping cards… anyhoot… Someway I had misplaced the money… I getting upset as I wanted to be able to give today at church. Never the less I had to leave as I walk to church since I don’t drive and said to myself Lord you know I wanted to give today and so I grabbed my umbrella and left… and I walked to the corner and all of a sudden “CHECK” and I said OH I CAN WRITE A CHECK!!! and so I ran back and did that! lol… I was so happy I walked to church praying… then when I get to church I prayed my rosary and when mass started I see some ladies walking in with a banner I could not read it until they got to the alter… and on it, it said ROSARY ALTAR SOCIETY… of course at this point I paused from singing and just wanted to laugh cry all at the same time…I didn’t know this month is our Holy Mother’s Mth…HMM whispers again… Praise be our Lord Jesus Christ. I am in awe of our Lord and the whispers he is blessing me with… I have the bulletin here and see that the Rosary society meets on Weds. which is amazing as well as that is when my husband has off and he can watch our daughter while I go!

I don’t know what the Miraculous Medal of Mary Novena is to be honest but I want to learn. lol… They have a number and I will call tomorrow and let them know I would love to be able to join but am just starting…

Again THANK YOU SO MUCH for each of your words and prayers. God Bless you all. I am so happy I found this site!

OH forgot to add: I will also be calling tomorrow to set up my Confession Appt. Yes I do want to. Then afterwards I hope to seek to Fr.Frank about my marriage :slight_smile: (oh only marriage for my Husband and myself -for someone who write…thank you so much :slight_smile: )



Hi Ellie, I am so glad things are falling into place for you. For your convalidation I wouldn’t worry, to be honest I am going through it right now and just came back from my meeting with our Priest! Our wedding date is set for 13 June, and I can’t wait to receive communion again, it pains me to be without it.
Good luck to you, let me know how it goes!



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